Treating women with gentleness

Abu al-Bakhtari (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Ibrahim (peace be upon him) complained to Allah Almighty about the character of Sarah. Allah Almighty revealed to him: "Woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, you will leave it crooked. Live with her despite her habits."

Sayyiduna Samurah bin Jundub (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated from the pulpit of Basrah this saying of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him): "Woman was created from a rib; if you try to straighten the rib, you will break it. So live your life with her, treating her with kindness. So live your life with her, treating her with kindness."

Aws bin Thurayb (may Allah have mercy on him) said: I hired out (riding animals) to the pilgrims, then I entered the Sacred Mosque, and in the mosque were Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and Sayyiduna Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him). Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) asked Sayyiduna Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him): "O Abu Amr (may Allah be pleased with him)! How do you deal with your wives?" He replied: "O Commander of the Believers! I face great harshness from them. I cannot enter the room of any of them except on her turn. If I even kiss the child of one of them on a day other than his mother's turn, they become angry." Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Many of them do not believe in Allah, nor do they trust the believers. Indeed, if you ever have need of one of them, she will lay the blame on you." Upon this Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him), who was among the people, said: "O Commander of the Believers! Do you not know that Ibrahim (peace be upon him) complained to Allah Almighty about the character of Sarah (may Allah be pleased with her), and he was told: 'Woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, you will leave it crooked. Live with them despite their habits.'" Hearing this, Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to Sayyiduna Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) three times: "There is a great deal of knowledge in your heart." Some of the narrators, I think it was Sufyan, added in it: "As long as he does not see any corruption in her religion."

It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Treat women well, for woman was created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its upper part. If you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, it will remain crooked. Treat women well."

Nu'aym bin Hanzalah said: Sayyiduna Jarir bin Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) once came to Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and complained of the bad character of his wives. Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "I face the same trouble that you face. Whenever I go to the market or meet people and buy an animal or a garment, they start saying: 'He goes to the market to look at the girls and to propose marriage to them!'" Hearing this, Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Do you not know that Ibrahim (peace be upon him) complained about the character of Sarah (may Allah be pleased with her), and Allah Almighty revealed to him: 'She is only from a rib, so take the rib and straighten it; if it becomes straight, well and good, otherwise live with her despite her habits.'"