Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaybah 20414 — Treating women with gentleness

Aws bin Thurayb (may Allah have mercy on him) said: I hired out (riding animals) to the pilgrims, then I entered the Sacred Mosque, and in the mosque were Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and Sayyiduna Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him). Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) asked Sayyiduna Jarir (may Allah be pleased with him): "O Abu Amr (may Allah be pleased with him)! How do you deal with your wives?" He replied: "O Commander of the Believers! I face great harshness from them. I cannot enter the room of any of them except on her turn. If I even kiss the child of one of them on a day other than his mother's turn, they become angry." Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Many of them do not believe in Allah, nor do they trust the believers. Indeed, if you ever have need of one of them, she will lay the blame on you." Upon this Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him), who was among the people, said: "O Commander of the Believers! Do you not know that Ibrahim (peace be upon him) complained to Allah Almighty about the character of Sarah (may Allah be pleased with her), and he was told: 'Woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, you will leave it crooked. Live with them despite their habits.'" Hearing this, Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said to Sayyiduna Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) three times: "There is a great deal of knowledge in your heart." Some of the narrators, I think it was Sufyan, added in it: "As long as he does not see any corruption in her religion."