Living with women

It is narrated from Aws bin Thurayb al-Tha'labi, who relates: During the Hajj I hired out a mount to Abdullah bin Jarir (or Jarir bin Abdullah). He came to Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), who asked him about various matters, and among the questions he was asked was: "How have you found your wives?" He said: O Commander of the Believers! The situation is that if I kiss any one of them on a day other than her turn, she accuses me, and if I go out for some need, she says: "You were with so-and-so, you were with so-and-so!" At this Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "Indeed, many of them do not have (complete) faith in Allah, nor do they trust the believers; it may be that a man has gone out for the need of one of his wives, or is in the market buying something for her, and she starts accusing him." At this Sayyiduna Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) said: O Commander of the Believers! Do you not know that the Friend of Allah, Sayyiduna Ibrahim (peace be upon him), complained to Allah Almighty about the sharpness (and harshness) of Sayyidah Sarah's temperament, and Allah Almighty said to him through revelation: "Indeed, a woman is like a rib; if you leave her as she is, she will remain crooked, and if you start to straighten her (by force), you will break her; so keep benefiting from her with whatever (crookedness) there is in her." On hearing this, Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) struck (patted) Sayyiduna Ibn Mas'ud (may Allah be pleased with him) between his shoulders and said: "O Ibn Mas'ud! Allah has filled your heart with an abundant amount of knowledge!" (The narrator says:) Abu Usamah affirmed this narration and said: Yes.
(Second chain:) And likewise it is narrated from Thurayb (or Ibn Thurayb) that he reported this same conversation in the mosque between Sayyiduna Umar bin al-Khattab and Sayyiduna Jarir bin Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with them both).
(Third chain:) And something similar is reported in the narration of Sufyan bin Uyaynah as well.

It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both) that, in the course of a long hadith, the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "O people! Women are under your authority (and like captives with you); you have taken them in marriage with the trust of Allah Almighty, and you have made marital relations with them lawful for yourselves by the word of Allah, the Mighty and Majestic. You have rights over them, and they have rights over you. Your right over them is that they do not let anyone whom you dislike set foot on your beds, and that they do not disobey you in what is good and right. So when they observe these matters, providing their maintenance and clothing according to what is customary is obligatory upon you; and if you need to punish them (for discipline), then strike in a way that is neither severely painful nor leaves wounds or marks on the body."
Imam Abd bin Humayd also narrated this hadith through Imam Abu Bakr bin Abi Shaybah with these same words mentioned above.

It is narrated from Sayyidah Safiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) that she relates: I came into the blessed presence of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and at that time there was no one among all people more disliked by me than him (peace and blessings be upon him). Then he (peace and blessings be upon him) began saying to me repeatedly (explaining the reality of the past grievances): "Indeed, your people did such-and-such, and they did so-and-so," and I had not yet risen from that seat of mine when he (peace and blessings be upon him) became the most beloved of all in the universe to me.
I (Ibn Hajar) say: This narration is mursal.

It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah and Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), addressing us with a sermon, said: "Whoever has intercourse with a woman through the unnatural passage, or (commits indecency) with a man or a boy, will come on the Day of Resurrection in such a state that he will be more foul-smelling than a carcass."
The rest of the hadith will come later, in which it is mentioned that he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "The woman who harms her husband, Allah Almighty will not accept her prayer nor any of her good deeds until she helps her husband and pleases him, even if she fasts perpetually, stands in prayer all night, frees slaves and provides mounts for jihad in the path of Allah; even then, if she did not please her husband and did not support him, she will be among the first to enter Hell."
And he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "If a man is one who harms his wife and wrongs her, then for him too there is the like of that punishment and sin; and whoever torments a woman so much that she is compelled to seek khul' (separation) from him (by paying a financial ransom), Allah Almighty will not be content with any punishment for that man less than Hell; because Allah Almighty becomes angry on behalf of a woman just as He becomes angry on behalf of an orphan."
And he said: "The woman who obtains khul' from her husband (without any valid Shar'i reason) remains under the curse of Allah Almighty, of the angels, of His messengers and of all mankind, until, when the Angel of Death comes to her, he says to her: Enter the Fire along with those who enter it. Beware! Whoever torments a woman so much that she takes khul' from him, Allah and His Messenger are free of (that man)."
He further said: "Whoever is patient with his wife's bad character, hoping for reward from Allah, Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, will grant him a reward like that which He granted Sayyiduna Ayyub (peace be upon him) for his trial, while upon that woman, every day and night, there will be sin equal to the grains of sand of the desert of 'Alij; so if she dies before helping her husband and pleasing him, she will be raised on the Day of Resurrection upside down with the hypocrites in the lowest level of Hell."
And he said: "Whoever has a wife who does not get along with him, is not patient with the provision Allah has given, but rather makes things hard for him and burdens him with what is beyond his ability, no good deed of hers will be accepted; and if she dies in that state, she will be raised with those upon whom is the wrath of Allah."