Mustadrak al-Hakim — Hadith 5714

It is narrated from Sayyiduna Talhah bin Ubaydullah (may Allah be pleased with him) that Sayyiduna Umar bin al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) proposed marriage to Umm Aban bint Utbah bin Rabi'ah bin Abd Shams, but she refused. She was asked why she had done so. She said: "When he enters the house, he enters with worry (about the Hereafter), and when he goes out, he goes out in the same worry. The matter of his Hereafter has made him indifferent to the affairs of this world; it is as though he is looking at his Lord with his own eyes." Then Sayyiduna al-Zubayr bin al-Awwam (may Allah be pleased with him) proposed to her, and she refused. She was asked why. She said: "His wife gets nothing from him except that he adorns her hair with ornamental braids (that is, he is stern and dry in temperament)." Then Sayyiduna Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) proposed, and she refused. She was asked why. She said: "His wife gets nothing from him except the fulfilment of his own need, and he just keeps talking of such-and-such happening and so-and-so happening (that is, he is absorbed in political and scholarly affairs)." Then Sayyiduna Talhah (may Allah be pleased with him) proposed to her, and she said: "He is my true husband." People asked: How is that? She said: "I know his character. When he enters the house he enters laughing, and when he goes out he goes out smiling. If I ask for something he gives, and if I remain silent he takes the initiative himself. If I do a good deed he thanks me, and if I commit a fault he forgives." Then, when Sayyiduna Talhah (may Allah be pleased with him) had married her, Sayyiduna Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said to him: "O Abu Muhammad! Will you permit me to speak to Umm Aban?" He said: "Certainly, speak to her." Sayyiduna Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) took hold of the curtain of the canopy and said: 'Al-salamu alaykum ya azizata nafsiha' "Peace be upon you, O you who hold yourself dear!" She said: "And upon you be peace." He (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "The Commander of the Believers and the leader of the Muslims proposed to you, and you refused him." She said: "Yes, that is how it happened." He (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "The cousin of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), the son of his paternal aunt, and his disciple (al-Zubayr) proposed to you, and you refused." She said: "Yes." He (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "I proposed to you, along with my kinship to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and you refused." She said: "That is how it happened." He (may Allah be pleased with him) said: "By Allah! You have married the one among us all with the most handsome face and the most generous, who gives like this and like this (with both hands)."