In this article, we will present the natural and Shariah objectives of marriage, the mutual rights and duties of husband and wife, the true spirit of marital life, and the increasing causes of divorce in our society along with their Shariah solutions. The first part will cover the importance of marriage, the value of a righteous wife, the requirement to consider marriage as a “firm covenant,” and a summary of mutual rights; then, among the causes of divorce, the primary causes—sins and disobedience, suspicions, and excess or deficiency in honor—will be addressed in the light of the Quran and Hadith. The following parts will discuss the remaining causes, step-by-step reformative measures, and the etiquettes and rulings of divorce.
Marriage: The Call of Nature and the Path of Shariah
Islam has not prescribed free relationships to fulfill the natural needs of men and women, but rather a formal Shariah method called “Nikah” (marriage). Through Nikah, a sacred bond is established, pure love takes root, and the vehicle of life runs on mutual goodwill; the man assumes the responsibility of earning and providing maintenance, while the wife manages the household system, the comfort of the husband, and the upbringing of the children.
Peace and Love: Divine Verse
Allah Almighty says:
﴿وَ مِنْ اٰیٰتِہٖٓ اَنْ خَلَقَ لَکُمْ مِّنْ اَنْفُسِکُمْ اَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْکُنُوْٓا اِلَیْھَا وَ جَعَلَ بَیْنَکُمْ مَّوَدَّۃً وَّ رَحْمَۃً ﴾ [الروم : ۲۱]
Translation: “And among His signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves so that you may find tranquility with them, and He placed between you affection and mercy.”
This is the divine peace that has no equal; that is why the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said:
Hadith: ( لَمْ یُرَ لِلْمُتَحَابَّیْنِ مِثْلُ النِّکَاحِ )
Translation: “Nothing has been seen for those who love each other better than marriage (which increases love).”
Righteous Wife: Happiness and Treasure
Hadith: ( أَرْبَعٌ مِنَ السَّعَادَۃِ : اَلْمَرْأَۃُ الصَّالِحَۃُ ، وَالْمَسْکَنُ الْوَاسِعُ ، وَالْجَارُ الصَّالِحُ ، وَالْمَرْکَبُ الْہَنِیْئُ )
Translation: “Four things are from happiness: a righteous wife, a spacious home, a righteous neighbor, and a comfortable ride.”
Hadith: ( أَلاَ أُخْبِرُکُمْ بِخَیْرِ مَا یُکْنَزُ ؟ اَلْمَرْأَۃُ الصَّالِحَۃُ ، إِذَا نَظَرَ إِلَیْہَا سَرَّتْہُ ، وَإِذَا غَابَ عَنْہَا حَفِظَتْہُ ، وَإِذَا أَمَرَہَا أَطَاعَتْہُ ) [ابو داؤد: ۱۶۶۴]
Translation: “Shall I not inform you of the best treasure? A righteous wife: when her husband looks at her, she pleases him; in his absence, she protects his honor and wealth; and when he commands, she obeys.”
Marriage: A Firm Covenant
In marriage, responsibilities are established on both sides: provision and maintenance, observance of rights, obedience and domestic peace, and upbringing of children.
Verse: ﴿وَّ اَخَذْنَ مِنْکُمْ مِّیْثَاقًا غَلِیْظًا﴾ [النساء: 12 ]
Translation: “They have taken a firm covenant from you.”
Mutual Rights and the Status of Qiwamah
Verse: ﴿ وَلَہُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِیْ عَلَیْہِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَیْہِنَّ دَرَجَۃٌ ﴾
Translation: “Women have rights similar to those (of men) over them, according to what is equitable, and men have a degree (of qiwamah) over them.”
Hadith: ( أَلاَ إِنَّ لَکُمْ عَلٰی نِسَائِکُمْ حَقًّا ، وَلِنِسَائِکُمْ عَلَیْکُمْ حَقًّا )
Translation: “Beware! You have rights over your wives and your wives have rights over you.”
Increasing Incidents of Divorce: Causes and Shariah Solutions
The marital relationship is maintained by fulfilling rights; otherwise, minor issues lead to divorce. Below are prominent causes and their solutions:
① Sins and Evils
Verse: ﴿ وَمَا أَصَابَکُم مِّن مُّصِیْبَۃٍ فَبِمَا کَسَبَتْ أَیْْدِیْکُمْ وَیَعْفُو عَن کَثِیْرٍ ﴾ [الشوری : ۳۰]
Translation: “Whatever trouble befalls you is because of what your own hands have earned, and He pardons many sins.”
Solution: True repentance and seeking forgiveness, avoidance of sins.
Verse: ﴿وَّ اَنِ اسْتَغْفِرُوْا رَبَّکُمْ ثُمَّ تُوْبُوْٓا اِلَیْہِ یُمَتِّعْکُمْ مَّتَاعًا حَسَنًا…﴾
Translation: “Ask forgiveness from your Lord and then repent to Him; He will let you enjoy a good life for a specified term…”
② Doubts, Suspicions, and Mistrust
Baseless suspicion breaks trust and ruins homes.
Verse: ﴿یٰٓاََیُّہَا الَّذِیْنَ اٰمَنُوْا اجْتَنِبُوْا کَثِیْرًا مِّنَ الظَّنِّ… وَّلاَ تَجَسَّسُوا﴾ [الحجرات :۱۲]
Translation: “O you who have believed! Avoid much suspicion… and do not spy.”
Hadith: ( إِیَّاکُمْ وَالظَّنَّ… وَلاَ تَحَسَّسُوْا وَلاَ تَجَسَّسُوْا )
Translation: “Avoid suspicion, for suspicion is the most false of speech… neither spy nor be curious.”
In the case of Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet ﷺ closed the door to doubt.
Hadith:
(text as mentioned)
Verse of verification: ﴿اِِنْ جَآئَ کُمْ فَاسِقٌ بِنَبَاٍِ فَتَبَیَّنُوْٓا…﴾
Translation: “If a wicked person brings you news, then verify it…”
③ Excess and deficiency in honor
Hadith: ( اَلْمُؤْمِنُ یَغَارُ وَاللّٰہُ أَشَدُّ غَیْرًا )
Translation: “A believer is protective of honor, and Allah is more protective of honor than him.”
Solution: If there is no honor, prevent immodesty and mixing; if it exceeds limits, then moderation; otherwise, suspicion, spying, and even divorce may occur.
④ Excessive display of masculinity and ill-treatment
Some men adopt an authoritative tone by misinterpreting the verse of Qiwamah and the narrations about “deficiency of intellect”; they consider the wife’s opinion insignificant, speak disrespectfully, and do not even refrain from insulting her in front of the children. This attitude ultimately hollow out the marital relationship and can lead to divorce.
Solution:
❀ Good conduct with the wife is necessary:
Verse: ﴿ وَ عَاشِرُوْھُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ﴾
Translation: “And live with them in kindness.”
❀ Morality and good behavior are the signs of perfect faith:
Hadith: ( أَکْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ إِیْمَانًا أَحْسَنُہُمْ خُلُقًا ، وَخِیَارُکُمْ خِیَارُکُمْ لِنِسَائِہِمْ ) [الترمذی ۔ ۱۱۶۲ : حسن صحیح ، وانظر: السلسلۃ الصحیحۃ : ۲۸۴]
Translation: “The one with perfect faith is the one with the best character, and the best among you is the one who is best to his women.”
❀ Mutual rights are balanced:
Verse: ﴿ وَلَہُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِیْ عَلَیْہِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَیْہِنَّ دَرَجَۃٌ ﴾
Translation: “Women have rights similar to those against them, according to what is reasonable, and men have a degree (Qiwamah) over them.”
❀ Prevent oppression:
Hadith of the Farewell Pilgrimage: ( فَاتَّقُوْا اللّٰہَ فِیْ النِّسَائِ،فَإِنَّکُمْ أَخَذْتُمُوْہُنَّ بِأَمَانِ اللّٰہِ ، وَاسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ فُرُوْجَہُنَّ بِکَلِمَۃِ اللّٰہِ ) [مسلم ۔ ۱۲۱۸ ]
Translation: “Fear Allah concerning women; you have taken them as a trust from Allah and made their chastity lawful by the word of Allah.”
⑤ Disobedience to the Husband
Some women do not consider their husband’s commands, act according to their own wishes, and show ingratitude; this behavior destroys the home.
Solution:
❀ Accepting the authority and obeying:
Verse: ﴿ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَیْہِنَّ دَرَجَۃٌ ﴾
“And men have a degree over them (women).”
❀ Definition of the best wife:
Hadith: ( اَلَّتِیْ تَسُرُّہُ إِذَا نَظَرَ ، وَتُطِیْٖعُہُ إِذَا أَمَرَ ، وَلاَ تُخَالِفُہُ فِیْ نَفْسِہَا وَمَالِہَا بِمَا یَکْرَہُ) [النسائی… : ۳۲۳۱ ، صححہ الألبانی]
Translation: “She is the one who pleases him (the husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and does not disobey him in herself or in his wealth in a way that he dislikes.”
❀ The evil of disobedience:
Hadith: ( اِثْنَانِ لاَ تُجَاوِزُ صَلاَتُہُمَا رُؤُوْسَہُمَا … وَامْرَأَۃٌ عَصَتْ زَوْجَہَا حَتّٰی تَرْجِعَ)
Translation: “The prayer of two persons is not accepted… and the woman who disobeys her husband until she returns (repents).”
❀ Warning against ingratitude:
Hadith: «لَا يَنْظُرُ اللَّهُ تَبَارَكَ وَتَعَالَى إِلَى امْرَأَةٍ لَا تَشْكُرُ لِزَوْجِهَا وَهِيَ لَا تَسْتَغْنِي عَنْهُ»[صحیح الترغیب والترہیب: ۱۹۴۴ ، الصحیحۃ : ۲۸۹]
Translation: “Allah does not look at the woman who does not thank her husband and becomes indifferent to him.”
⑥ Excessive Blaming and Harsh Criticism
Constant fault-finding, scolding, and negative thinking consume love; this persistent behavior of a man or woman pushes the household towards discord.
Solution:
❀ See the good qualities, forgive mistakes, adopt positive thinking.
Verse: ﴿ فَاِنْ کَرِھْتُمُوْھُنَّ فَعَسٰٓی اَنْ تَکْرَھُوْا شَیْئًا وَّ یَجْعَلَ اللّٰہُ فِیْہِ خَیْرًا کَثِیْرًا ﴾
Translation: “If you dislike them, perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good.”
Hadith: ( لاَ یَفْرَکْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَۃً ، إِنْ کَرِہَ مِنْہَا خُلُقًا رَضِیَ مِنْہَا آخَرَ)
Translation: “A believer should not hold resentment against his believing wife; if one trait is unpleasant, another will be pleasing.”
⑦ Excessiveness in Spending
Whether stinginess or extravagance—both break the harmony of the household; stinginess suppresses necessities, and extravagance removes blessings.
Solution:
❀ Moderation:
Verse: ﴿ وَالَّذِیْنَ إِذَا أَنفَقُوا لَمْ یُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ یَقْتُرُوا وَکَانَ بَیْْنَ ذَلِکَ قَوَامًا ﴾ [الفرقان: ۶۷]
Translation: “When you spend, do not be extravagant nor stingy, but take a middle path.”
❀ Neglect in Provision—A Major Sin:
Hadith: ( کَفَی بِالْمَرْئِ إِثْمًا أَن یُّضَیِّعَ مَن یَّقُوْتُ )
Translation: “For a person, this sin is sufficient—that he neglects those whose provision is his responsibility.”
⑧ Not Fulfilling Natural Needs
Both men and women have a natural and Shariah-based need, and if this need is not fulfilled, coldness and discord arise in the marital relationship, which ultimately leads to divorce.
Islam has termed this relationship as “worship” and “the right of spouse,” which both are obligated to fulfill.
Solution:
Spouses should understand, respect, and fulfill each other’s natural needs and rights.
Hadith:
(إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ امْرَأَتَہُ إِلٰی فِرَاشِہٖ فَأَبَتْ فَبَاتَ غَضْبَانَ عَلَیْہَا ، لَعَنَتْہَا الْمَلاَئِکَۃُ حَتّٰی تُصْبِحَ)
Translation: “When a husband calls his wife to bed and she refuses, the angels curse her until morning.”
Hadith:
( إِذَا دَعَا الرَّجُلُ زَوْجَتَہُ لِحَاجَتِہٖ ، فَلْتَأْتِہٖ وَإِنْ کَانَتْ عَلَی التَّنُّوْرِ )
Translation: “When a husband calls his wife for his need, she must come, even if she is at the oven.”
Hadith:
( إِنَّ لِرَبِّکَ عَلَیْکَ حَقًّا ، وَلِنَفْسِکَ عَلَیْکَ حَقًّا ، وَلِأَہْلِکَ عَلَیْکَ حَقًّا ، فَأَعْطِ کُلَّ ذِیْ حَقٍّ حَقَّہُ )
Translation: “Your Lord has a right over you, your soul has a right over you, and your family has a right over you, so give every right its due.”
⑨ Woman’s abusive language and foul speech
Some women are foul-mouthed, speak harshly to their husbands, do not respect them, and in anger even demand divorce. Some even challenge: “If you want to give divorce, then give it!” — this behavior causes the destruction of homes.
Solution:
❀ A woman should guard her tongue, especially in respect of her husband.
❀ The Prophet ﷺ gave a severe warning to a woman who demands divorce without a valid reason:
Hadith:
( أَیُّمَا امْرَأَۃٍ سَأَلَتْ زَوْجَہَا الطَّلاَقَ مِنْ غَیْرِ مَا بَأْسٍ ، فَحَرَامٌ عَلَیْہَا رَائِحَۃُ الْجَنَّۃِ )
Translation: “Whoever a woman demands divorce without any reasonable cause, even the fragrance of Paradise is forbidden for her.”
⑩ Abandoning the Shariah steps to end discord
Often people immediately use the word “divorce” when disagreements arise between spouses, whereas Shariah has prescribed initial corrective steps. Divorce is the last remedy, not the first.
Allah Almighty’s command:
﴿وَ الّٰتِیْ تَخَافُوْنَ نُشُوْزَھُنَّ فَعِظُوْھُنَّ وَ اھْجُرُوْھُنَّ فِی الْمَضَاجِعِ وَ اضْرِبُوْھُنَّ فَاِنْ اَطَعْنَکُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوْا عَلَیْھِنَّ سَبِیْلًا ﴾
Translation: “As for those wives from whom you fear disobedience, advise them, then separate from them in bed, then (lightly) discipline them. And if they obey, do not seek a way against them.”
Three stages of correction:
① Advice in a well-meaning manner
② Separate beds
③ As a last warning, light punishment — which is also non-harmful
Hadith:
( لَا یَجْلِدْ أَحَدُکُمُ امْرَأَتَہُ جِلْدَ الْعَبْدِ ثُمَّ یُجَامِعُہَا فِیْ آخِرِ الْیَوْمِ )
Translation: “None of you should strike his wife like a slave and then have intercourse with her at the end of the day.”
If reconciliation does not occur after this, mediators should be appointed from both sides:
Verse:
﴿ وَ اِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَیْنِھِمَا فَابْعَثُوْا حَکَمًا مِّنْ اَھْلِہٖ وَ حَکَمًا مِّنْ اَھْلِھَا اِنْ یُّرِیْدَآاِصْلَاحًا یُّوَفِّقِ اللّٰہُ بَیْنَھُمَا﴾
Translation: “If you fear a breach between them (husband and wife), appoint an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family; if they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it to succeed.”
Conclusion:
These are the ten major causes that lead to discord and divorce in marital relationships. If both husband and wife adopt piety, patience, good manners, and Islamic principles, the home can become a cradle of peace and love.
Summary:
❀ Marriage is a sacred bond and a strong covenant.
❀ A righteous wife is the most precious treasure in the world for her husband.
❀ The secret to marital happiness lies in mutual rights, love, sacrifice, and fear of Allah.
❀ The causes of divorce prominently include sin, suspicion, imbalance, harsh speech, and disobedience.
❀ The remedy for all these has been explained by Shariah in the form of repentance, patience, goodwill, and corrective measures.
Conclusion:
Islam has declared divorce as the last resort, not the first. If marital issues are resolved in the light of the Quran and Sunnah, not only the home but also society will become a model of peace and love. May Allah Almighty grant us the ability to live with piety and patience, fulfill each other’s rights, and be blessed with a pleasant marital life. آمین۔
