Question:
I visit my household and family members occasionally, sometimes after six months and sometimes after a full year. When I arrive home, all the women, young and old, welcome me, and they kiss me with shyness and humility.
The truth is that this custom has spread widely among us, and according to my family there is nothing wrong with it, since in their opinion it is not forbidden. However, since, by Allah’s grace, I am one who adheres to the rulings of Islam, I am perplexed and negligent in this matter. Now the question is: how can I make up for kissing women? It should be noted that if I do not shake hands with them, they will be extremely upset and will certainly say, “He does not respect us, he dislikes us, and he does not love us.” By love they mean the love that binds family members together, not the love that binds a young man and a young woman together (through illicit relationships)?
Answer:
It is not permissible for a Muslim to shake hands with or kiss anyone other than his wife and his mahram women. Rather, it is among the prohibited acts, the causes of temptation (fitnah), and the means of spreading immorality.
Indeed, the following saying of the Prophet ﷺ is established:
إني لا أصافح النساء
“Verily, I do not shake hands with women.”
He also said:
ما مست يد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ید امرأة قط ، ما كان يبايعهن إلا بالكلام
“The hand of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ never touched the hand of any woman; he would only take their pledge by word of mouth.”
And kissing non-mahram women is even worse than shaking hands with them, whether they are paternal cousins or maternal cousins, neighbours, or other women of the tribe. All these matters are forbidden by the consensus of the Muslims, and they are among the major means of falling into immorality. Therefore, it is obligatory upon the Muslim to avoid this and to convince those relatives and non-relatives who have become accustomed to it that this act is forbidden, even if people have become accustomed to it. It is not permissible for a Muslim man or woman to do so, even if their relatives and the people of the town have become accustomed to it. Rather, it is obligatory upon them to deny it and to protect society from it, and it is appropriate in this matter to suffice with verbal greeting without handshaking and kissing.
