Sayyidah Umm Atiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: We pledged allegiance to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and he (peace and blessings be upon him) recited this verse to us: "that they will not associate anything with Allah" [Surah al-Mumtahanah: 12], and he forbade us from wailing. A woman then withdrew her hand and said: "So-and-so did me a kindness, and I wish to repay her." He (peace and blessings be upon him) said nothing to her, so she went away, then came back and pledged allegiance.
Hadith Referenceالسنن الكبرى للبيهقي / كتاب الجنائز / 7104
Sayyidah Umm Atiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: We pledged allegiance to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), and he (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Do not associate anything with Allah," and he (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade us from wailing. A woman drew back her hand and said: O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), so-and-so did me a kindness, so I wish to repay her. He (peace and blessings be upon him) said nothing to her; she went away, then she came back and pledged allegiance. She said: None of us fulfilled this pledge except Umm Sulaym (may Allah be pleased with her), Umm al-Ala (may Allah be pleased with her), and the daughter of Abu Sabrah, the wife of Mu'adh, or she said: the daughter of Abu Sabrah and the wife of Mu'adh.
Imam Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) recorded it in his Sahih from Musaddad in this way, and in it there is no mention that he made an exception for her for what she wanted; rather, it states that he did not grant her request until she came back and he accepted her pledge.
Hadith Referenceالسنن الكبرى للبيهقي / كتاب الجنائز / 7105
Sayyidah Umm Atiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: When the verse "O Prophet, when the believing women come to you pledging to you that they will not associate anything with Allah" up to "and will not disobey you in what is right" [Surah al-Mumtahanah: 12] was revealed, she said: Among them (those conditions) was (refraining from) wailing. I said: O Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), except for the family of so-and-so! They did me a kindness in the Days of Ignorance, so I have no choice but to do them a kindness. He (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Except for the family of so-and-so."
Likewise Asim bin Sulayman al-Ahwal narrated it from Hafsah bint Sirin. I do not know whether he preserved correctly what is narrated in it of the permission for is'ad (joining others in mourning) or not, for Ayyub al-Sakhtiyani, who is a better memoriser than him, narrated it as we mentioned, and Hisham bin Hassan narrated it from Hafsah without mentioning any of that.
Hadith Referenceالسنن الكبرى للبيهقي / كتاب الجنائز / 7106
Sayyidah Umm Atiyyah (may Allah be pleased with her) said that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) also took a pledge from us during the oath of allegiance that "we would not wail." Five women among us fulfilled this pledge: Umm Sulaym, Umm al-Ala, the daughter of Abu Sabrah, the wife of Mu'adh, or she said: the daughter of Abu Sabrah and the wife of Mu'adh (may Allah be pleased with him). Imam Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) recorded it in his Sahih from al-Hajabi, and he from Hammad, and in this hadith he said: two women, or another woman, fulfilled it.
Hadith Referenceالسنن الكبرى للبيهقي / كتاب الجنائز / 7107
Sayyiduna Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) said that when the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) took the pledge of allegiance from the women, he also took a pledge from them that they would not wail. They said: O Messenger of Allah, in the Days of Ignorance women used to join (us) in these calamities; should we join them in Islam? The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "There is no such joining (in wailing) in Islam."
Hadith Referenceالسنن الكبرى للبيهقي / كتاب الجنائز / 7108
Sayyidah Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: When Abu Salamah (may Allah be pleased with him) died, I said: He was a stranger far from his homeland; I will certainly weep over him so much that people will talk about it. When I had prepared to weep over him, a woman came who wanted to join me, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) met her and said: "Do you want to bring Satan into a house from which Allah has driven him out?" She said: So I refrained from weeping. In the narration of Abu Abdullah: I will weep over him in a way that people will talk about; while we were in that state, preparing to weep, a woman came who wanted to join us, and the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) met her and mentioned this. She said: Then I refrained from weeping.
Muslim recorded it in his Sahih from Ishaq bin Ibrahim. This ruling concerns weeping that includes wailing. The same applies to what Sayyidah Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said about the weeping of the women of Ja'far (may Allah be pleased with him), and the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade it.
Hadith Referenceالسنن الكبرى للبيهقي / كتاب الجنائز / 7109