Permissibility of Weeping over the Deceased in an Islamic Manner
✍ Written by: Imran Ayyub Lahori
❖ The Permissible Form of Weeping Over the Deceased
Weeping over the deceased is permissible, provided it does not include any element of wailing (نوحہ).
Al-Albani (رحمه الله) holds this view.
📘 [Ahkām al-Janā’iz: p. 31]
◈ Evidences Supporting Permissible Weeping:
➊ The Prophet ﷺ said to Fāṭimah, the paternal aunt of Jābir رضي الله عنه, regarding the father of Jābir:
تبكين أو لا تبكين
“Whether you weep or not, the angels continued to shade him with their wings until you lifted him.”
📚 [Bukhari: 1244; Kitāb al-Janā’iz: Bāb al-Dukhūl ʿalā al-Mayt baʿda al-Mawt, Muslim: 2471]
➋ It is narrated from Usāmah bin Zayd رضي الله عنه that when the Prophet ﷺ saw one of his daughter’s children in the throes of death, his eyes overflowed with tears. When Saʿd رضي الله عنه inquired about this weeping, the Prophet ﷺ replied:
هذه رحمة جعلها الله فى قلوب عباده وإنما يرحم الله من عباده الرحماء
“This is mercy which Allah has placed in the hearts of His servants. And indeed, Allah only shows mercy to those of His servants who are themselves merciful.”
📚 [Bukhari: 1284; Kitāb al-Janā’iz: Bāb Qawl al-Nabī Yuʿadhdhab al-Mayt bi-Baʿḍ Bukāʾ Ahlīhi ʿalayh, Muslim: 923, Aḥmad: 204/5, Abū Dāwūd: 3152, Ibn Mājah: 1588]
➌ When the Prophet ﷺ saw Saʿd bin ʿUbādah رضي الله عنه in a state of unconsciousness due to illness, he wept.
📚 [Bukhari: 1304; Kitāb al-Janā’iz: al-Bukāʾ ʿind al-Marīḍ]
➍ The Prophet ﷺ wept at the funeral of one of his daughters. Anas رضي الله عنه narrates:
فرأيت عينيه تدمعان
“I saw his eyes overflowing with tears.”
📚 [Bukhari: 1285; Kitāb al-Janā’iz: Bāb Qawl al-Nabī Yuʿadhdhab al-Mayt bi-Baʿḍ Bukāʾ Ahlīhi ʿalayh]
➎ Abū Bakr رضي الله عنه wept upon the death of the Prophet ﷺ.
📚 [Bukhari: 3/89, Nasā’ī: 1/260, Bayhaqī: 3/406, Ibn Ḥibbān: 2155]
➏ At the death of Saʿd bin Muʿādh رضي الله عنه, both Abū Bakr and ʿUmar رضي الله عنهما wept in the presence of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.
📚 [Aḥmad: 6/141]
❖ The Issue of Punishment Due to Weeping
Despite the permissibility of weeping, some narrations suggest that the deceased may be punished due to the weeping of his family. These include:
➊ Mughīrah bin Shuʿbah رضي الله عنه narrates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
من نيح عليه يعذب بما نيح عليه
“Whoever is wailed over will be punished for the wailing done over him.”
📚 [Bukhari: 1291; Kitāb al-Janā’iz: Bāb Mā Yukrahu min al-Niyāḥah ʿala al-Mayt, Muslim: 933]
➋ Ibn ʿUmar رضي الله عنهما narrates that the Prophet ﷺ said:
إن الميت ليعذب ببكاء أهله عليه
“Indeed, the deceased is punished because of the weeping of his family over him.”
📚 [Bukhari: 1286; Kitāb al-Janā’iz: Bāb Qawl al-Nabī Yuʿadhdhab al-Mayt bi-Baʿḍ Bukāʾ Ahlīhi ʿalayh, Muslim: 928, ʿAbd al-Razzāq: 6675, Musnad Shāfiʿī: 4/18, Ibn Ḥibbān: 3136, Bayhaqī: 4/73, Nasā’ī: 4/18, Sharḥ al-Sunnah: 3/290]
A variation of the narration states:
يعض بكاء أهله عليه
“He is punished due to some of the weeping of his family over him.”
📚 [Bukhari: 1287, Muslim: 927, Tirmidhī: 1002]
❖ Resolving the Apparent Contradiction
These narrations seemingly contradict the Qur’anic verse:
وَلَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِزْرَ أُخْرَى
“No bearer of burden shall bear the burden of another.”
To reconcile this, scholars have provided explanations, such as:
① If the deceased himself used to wail,
② Or he did not stop his family from doing so during his life,
③ Or he advised them to do so after his death,
— then he will be punished for it. Otherwise, he will not.
📘 For detailed discussion, see:
▪ Fatḥ al-Bārī: 3/500
▪ Nayl al-Awṭār: 3/54
▪ Maʿālim al-Sunan: 1/303
✅ Conclusion
✔ Weeping without wailing is permitted, as supported by the actions of the Prophet ﷺ and the Companions.
✔ Wailing (نوحہ), however, is prohibited and can lead to punishment if endorsed or instructed by the deceased.
