Walima of Marriage: Legitimacy, Rulings, and Etiquettes
Walima means “the feast of wedding happiness.” Its plural is وَلَائِم. Chapter اَولَمَ يُولِمُ (إفعال) Walima Karna – الْوَلْمَةُ means “the gathering of something.”
[Al-Munjid: p. 986, Lisan al-Arab: 399/15]
(Jawhari, Ibn Athir) Walima specifically refers to the wedding feast.
(From Hariri) It is derived from “walm,” meaning to gather (it is named so) because the husband and wife gather together.
[Nil al-Awtar: 259/4]
➊ Imam Bukhari established a chapter:
الوليمة حق
“Performing Walima is a right.”
Under this, he narrated a hadith from Hazrat Abdul Rahman bin Awf (RA) in which it is mentioned that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) commanded Hazrat Abdul Rahman bin Awf (RA):
أو لم ولو بشاة
“Perform Walima even if it is with only one goat.”
[Bukhari: 5153, Book of Marriage: Chapter on the Wedding Feast, Muslim: 1427, Abu Dawood: 2019, Tirmidhi: 1933, Nasa’i: 137/6, Ibn Majah: 1907, Ahmad: 190/3, Muwatta: 545/2, Ibn Hibban: 4060]
➋ It is narrated from Hazrat Anas (RA) that:
ما أولم النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم على شيئ من نسائه ما أولم على زينب: أولم بشاة
“The Prophet (PBUH) did not perform a Walima for any of his wives as much as he did for Hazrat Zainab (RA), and he performed it with one goat.”
[Bukhari: 5168, Book of Marriage: Chapter on Walima even with a sheep, Muslim: 1428, Ahmad: 227/3, Abu Dawood: 3743, Abd bin Humayd: 1368]
➌ It is narrated from Hazrat Anas (RA) that:
أن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أولـم عـلـى صـفـيـة بـتـمـر وسـويـق
“The Prophet (PBUH) performed the Walima of Safiyyah (RA) with dates and barley porridge.”
[Sahih: Sahih Abu Dawood: 3185, Book of Foods: Chapter on the recommendation of Walima for marriage, Abu Dawood: 3743, Ahmad: 110/3, Tirmidhi: 1095, Ibn Majah: 1909, Humaydi: 1184, Abu Ya’la: 3559, Ibn Jarur: 727, Ibn Hibban: 4061, Bayhaqi: 260/7]
➍ In one narration:
أولم النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم على بعض نسائه بمدين من شعير
“The Prophet (PBUH) performed the Walima of some of his wives with two mudds of barley.”
[Bukhari: 5172, Book of Marriage: Chapter on performing Walima with less than a sheep]
(Jamhur, Malik) Performing Walima is recommended.
(Shafi’i, Ahmad, Ahl al-Zahir) Performing Walima is obligatory.
[Al-Fiqh al-Islami wa Adillatuhu: 6619/9, Al-Mughni: 192/10, Nil al-Awtar: 260/4]
(Preferred) The apparent ruling of the hadith indicates obligation.
[Nil al-Awtar: 259/4, Al-Rawdah al-Nadiyyah: 479/2]
Accepting its invitation is obligatory.
➊ It is narrated from Hazrat Ibn Umar (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
إذا دعى أحـدكــم إلـى الوليمة فلياتها
“When any of you is invited to a Walima, he should accept it.”
[Bukhari: 5173, Book of Marriage: Chapter on the right to respond to Walima and invitation, Muwatta: 546/2, Muslim: 1429, Abu Dawood: 3736, Tirmidhi: 1098]
➋ In one narration, these words are:
أجيبوا هذه الدعوة إذا دعيتم لها
“When you are called to this invitation, accept it.”
[Bukhari: 5179, Book of Marriage: Chapter on responding to the inviter at weddings and others, Muslim: 1429]
➌ It is narrated from Hazrat Abu Hurairah (RA) that:
شر الطعام طعام الوليمة يدعى لها الأغنياء ويترك الفقراء ومن لم يجب الدعوة فقد عصى الله ورسوله
“The worst Walima meal is that in which the rich are invited but the poor are not, and whoever does not accept the invitation has indeed disobeyed Allah and His Messenger.”
[Bukhari: 5177, Book of Marriage: Chapter on whoever leaves the invitation has disobeyed Allah and His Messenger, Muslim: 1432, Muwatta: 546/2, Abu Dawood: 3742, Ibn Majah: 1913, Darimi: 105/2, Saeed bin Mansur: 524]
(Qadi Iyad, Nawawi) There is consensus on the obligation of accepting the Walima invitation.
[Sharh Muslim: 234/9]
(Ibn Hajar) There is insight in this statement; however, among the scholars’ opinions, the best and most famous is that accepting the Walima invitation is obligatory.
[Fath al-Bari: 302/10]
(Jamhur, Malik, Shafi’is, Hanbalis) Accepting the Walima invitation is Fard ‘Ayn (individual obligation).
(Some Hanbalis, some Shafi’is) Accepting the Walima invitation is Fard Kifayah (communal obligation), and according to one narration, it is also recommended.
(Preferred) Without any legitimate excuse, accepting the Walima invitation is obligatory.
[Fath al-Bari: 303/10]
(Shawkani) The apparent ruling is obligation.
[Nil al-Awtar: 264/4]
(Abdul Rahman Mubarakpuri) The apparent is what Imam Shawkani stated.
[Tuhfat al-Ahwazi: 231/4]
If someone does not want to eat food
Accepting the invitation is necessary; eating the food is not necessary. If someone wants to leave the food, it is permissible. As narrated from Hazrat Abu Hurairah (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
إذا دعى أحـدكــم إلـى طعام فليحب فإن شاء طعم وإن شاء ترك
“When any of you is invited to food, he should accept it; then if he wishes, he may eat, and if he wishes, he may leave it.”
[Muslim: 1430, Book of Marriage: Chapter on the command to respond to the inviter, Abu Dawood: 2460, Ahmad: 507/2, Tirmidhi: 780, Ibn Abi Shaybah: 64/3, Humaydi: 1012, Ibn Hibban: 5306, Nasa’i in Sunan al-Kubra: 350/10]
If fasting, he should say, “I am fasting.”
In one narration, the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
إذا دعى أحدكم إلى الطعام وهو صائم فليقل إني صائم
“When any of you is invited to food and he is fasting, he should say, ‘I am fasting.'”
In another narration, these words are:
فإن كان صائما فليصل
“If the person (being invited) is fasting, he should pray for the inviter.”
[Muslim: 1431, Book of Marriage: Chapter on the command to respond to the inviter, Abu Dawood: 2460, Ahmad: 507/2, Tirmidhi: 780, Ibn Abi Shaybah: 64/3]
If there are multiple inviters, the one who comes first or whose door is nearer should be given precedence.
➊ Hazrat Humayd bin Abdul Rahman Humaydi narrates from a companion of the Prophet (PBUH) who said that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
إذا اجتمع الداعيان فأجب أقربهما بابا فإن أقربهما بابا أقربهما حوارا وإن سبق أحدهما فأجب الذى سبق
“When two inviters gather, accept the invitation of the one whose door is nearer because among the two, the one whose door is nearer is closer in the neighborhood, and if one of them initiates first, accept the invitation of the first inviter.”
[Weak: Weak Abu Dawood: 802, Book of Foods: Chapter on if two inviters gather, which one is more deserving, Irwa’ al-Ghalil: 1951, Abu Dawood: 3756, Ahmad: 408/5]
➋ It is narrated from Hazrat Aisha (RA) that she asked the Prophet (PBUH): To which of my two neighbors should I send a gift? He (PBUH) said:
إلى أقربهما منك بابا
“Send the gift to the one whose door is nearer.”
[Bukhari: 6020, Book of Manners: Chapter on the right of neighbors regarding proximity of doors, Ahmad: 175/6 – 187]
(Ibn Hajar) He used the hadith of Hazrat Aisha (RA) as evidence for the first hadith.
[Nil al-Awtar: 265/4]
If the Walima invitation involves sinful acts, attending it is not permissible.
➊ Hazrat Ali (RA) says that I prepared food and invited the Messenger of Allah (PBUH):
فـجـاء فرأى فى البيت تصاوير فرجع
“He (PBUH) came and saw some pictures in the house and returned.”
[Sahih: Sahih Ibn Majah: 2708, Book of Foods: Chapter on if the guest sees something objectionable, he returns, Ibn Majah: 3359, Nasa’i: 213/8]
➋ It is narrated from Hazrat Jabir (RA) that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
من كان يؤمن بالله واليوم الآخر فلا يقعد على مائدة يدار عليها الخمر
“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not sit at a table where alcohol is served.”
[Ahmad: 339/3, Nasa’i in Sunan al-Kubra: 171/3, Hakim: 288/4]
If one has the power to stop evil, then he may attend with that intention, as in a hadith the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
من رأى منكم منكرا فليغيره بيده فإن لم يستطع فبلسانه فإن لم يستطع فبقلبه وذلك أضعف الإيمان
“Whoever among you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; if he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot, then with his heart—and that is the weakest of faith.”
[Muslim: 49, Book of Faith: Chapter on the prohibition of evil being part of faith, Abu Dawood: 1140, Tirmidhi: 2172, Nasa’i: 111/8, Ibn Majah: 1270, Ahmad: 20/3]
