وعنه رضى الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم: ليس الشديد بالصرعة وإنما الشديد الذى يملك نفسه عند الغضب
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “The strong man is not the one who overcomes (others) in wrestling; the strong man is only the one who controls himself at the time of anger.”
Takhrij:
,
And others; and see Tuhfat al-Ashraf
,
Vocabulary: الصرعة – with a damma on the sad, and a fatha on the ra and the ayn, on the pattern of “humazah,” meaning one who throws others down by his strength. If the ra is sukun, الصُّرْعَةُ, then its meaning is one who is thrown down by others. Similarly “ضُحْكَةٌ، خُدْعَةُ” means one at whom others laugh, one whom others deceive. The “ta” is for emphasis in the intensive adjective, not for feminine gender.
Benefits:
➊ In the Holy Quran, Allah the Exalted has praised those who control their anger.
وَالَّذِينَ يَجْتَنِبُونَ كَبَائِرَ الْإِثْمِ وَالْفَوَاحِشَ وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُوا هُمْ يَغْفِرُونَ
“Those who avoid major sins and indecencies, and when they are angry, they forgive.”
And He said:
الَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ
“Those who spend in ease and in hardship, and who suppress their anger.”
➋ Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet ﷺ passed by some people who were wrestling, and said: “What is happening?” They said: “So-and-so, whomever he wrestles, he throws down.” The Prophet ﷺ said: “Shall I not tell you of a stronger man? The man who, when someone spoke (to him in a way that provoked) anger, suppressed his anger, and thus overcame it, overcame his own devil and overcame the devil of his companion.”
In Sahih Muslim, from Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him), the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Whom do you count as a wrestler (الصُّرَعَةُ) among you?” They said: “One whom people cannot throw down.” The Prophet ﷺ said: “The wrestler is only the one who controls his self at the time of anger.”
➌ The Messenger of Allah ﷺ taught several methods for controlling anger. First of all, one should understand that the kindling of anger is actually from Satan, so its remedy is also that one seek Allah’s refuge from Satan. Allah the Exalted said:
وَإِمَّا يَنزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّـهِ إِنَّهُ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ
“If a prick from Satan touches you (i.e., Satan incites anger), then seek refuge in Allah; indeed He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.”
Sulayman bin Surad (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I was sitting with the Prophet ﷺ when two men were hurling abuse at each other, and the face of one of them had turned red and the veins of his neck had swollen. The Prophet ﷺ said: “I know a word which, if he says it, what he is feeling would go away. If he says أعُوذُ بِاللَّـهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ, whatever is happening to him would end.”
From Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both): the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: إذا غضب أحدكم فليسكت “When any of you becomes angry, he should be silent.”
Abu Dhar (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates from the Messenger of Allah ﷺ that when any of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down; if the anger goes away, good; otherwise he should lie down.
➍ The hadith shows that true strength is not physical strength but moral strength. Just as confronting external enemies who oppose the religion of Allah is necessary and requires strength, likewise when the self rises up to oppose the commands of Allah, especially when it has been provoked by anger and Satan keeps inflaming it, inclining towards abusive speech, striking with the hand and killing, the face has turned red, indeed black, the body is trembling, the veins have swollen, and the heart is filled with malice and rancour, then confronting it and overcoming it is even harder than overcoming an enemy. Therefore whoever overcomes it has, as it were, subdued many opponents, and so the true brave man and wrestler is he.
➎ Anger is a natural disposition, and the command to restrain it and control it applies when it would lead to opposing the commands of Allah. However, if anger arises for the protection of Allah’s commands, to prevent disobedience to Allah and to fight Allah’s enemies, it is praiseworthy and a great blessing given by Allah. Upon seeing the trampling of Allah’s commands, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ also became extremely angry. Imam al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) mentioned five hadiths on this subject in his Sahih. See: Kitab al-Adab, chapter “What is permissible of anger and severity for the sake of Allah’s command.” And Allah the Exalted said:
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّبِيُّ جَاهِدِ الْكُفَّارَ وَالْمُنَافِقِينَ وَاغْلُظْ عَلَيْهِمْ
“O Prophet! Strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites, and be stern with them.”
