Question: Many girls from many households are deprived of the Sunnah of marriage because of the lack of dowry (jahez). May you be rewarded by Allah by clarifying the legal status of dowry?
Answer: Demanding anything from the guardians of the girl by the boy’s side at the time of discussing a marriage proposal, whether it be in the form of movable or immovable property, cash, or various goods, and making the acceptance of the proposal conditional or dependent upon it, is impermissible in Shari’ah. Likewise, for the girl’s side to take the initiative and tell the boy’s side, “If you accept this proposal, we will give cash and such-and-such items as dowry,” is utterly wrong and contrary to the Shari’ah. Whatever name is given to this custom of giving and taking, it is impermissible and prohibited in Shari’ah. There are several reasons for this:
➊ It is necessary for every Muslim to act in accordance with the blessed life of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and to keep his excellent example before them in all matters of life, because the Almighty said:
«لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا»
“Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah there is for you an excellent example for whoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah often.”
Then, after the Prophet ﷺ, the excellent example of his Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, is a practical model, whose following, emulation and imitation is necessary for everyone. All the acts of life from birth to death, such as circumcision, the ‘aqiqah, betrothal, and the ceremonies of marriage, were performed by the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and his Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, but in their days of life these customs and demands are not found. In short, they do not even exist in the Shari’ah.
➊ In the Pure Shari’ah, no kind of expense or burden is placed upon the girl’s family for every Muslim, whether at the time of the marriage, at the time of settling the proposal, or after the marriage. Rather, this whole burden has been placed upon the boy for the girl, so that he provides her with the necessities of life. For this reason the husband has been called “qawwam” (protector and maintainer) in the Qur’an.
As Allah the Exalted has said:
«الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ»
“Men are in charge of women, because Allah has made some of them to excel others, and because they spend from their wealth.”
From this verse it is known that maintenance, sustenance, the dower (mahr) and all other expenses are the responsibility of the man. Therefore, demanding any wealth or goods from the guardians of the girl by the boy’s side is contrary to the purpose of the Shari’ah.
➋ In the Hindu religion, a girl does not receive inheritance from her parents, so the boy’s side wants, by whatever means and in whatever form, to obtain as much wealth as possible from the girl’s side; for this reason they make the above-mentioned demand at the time of marriage, and the girl’s side fulfils their demand. Following their example, Muslims also deprive their daughters of inheritance, although the payment of inheritance is a command of Allah, the Qur’an has called them the limits of Allah, and it has given the good news of great success for fulfilling it, and it has warned of eternal abiding in Hell for depriving [someone] of inheritance.
Allah the Exalted has said:
«تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللَّهِ وَمَنْ يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ يُدْخِلْهُ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِنْ تَحْتِهَا الْأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا وَذَلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْعَظِيمُ ٭وَمَنْ يَعْصِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَيَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَهُ يُدْخِلْهُ نَارًا خَالِدًا فِيهَا وَلَهُ عَذَابٌ مُهِينٌ »
“These are the limits of Allah. Whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger will be admitted by Him into gardens beneath which rivers flow, to abide therein forever, and that is the great achievement. And whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger and transgresses His limits will be admitted by Him to a Fire, abiding therein forever, and for him is a humiliating punishment.”
From this noble verse it is known that paying inheritance is among the limits of Allah, and those who do not pay it transgress the limits set by Allah; for such people there is the warning of everlasting Hell, and dowry is in reality a denial of inheritance.
➍ Apart from these reasons, the harms of dowry are so great that, generally, the daughters of poor people are not married because of the lack of dowry, young girls thus sit at home and waste their age, and many girls fall victim to various crimes due to not being married, which has very bad effects on society. May Allah protect us from acts contrary to the Shari’ah and grant us the ability to avoid a curse like dowry. (Ameen!)
