وعن عبد الله بن عمرو بن العاص رضي الله عنهما عن النبي صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم قال: رضى الله في رضى الوالدين وسخط الله في سخط الوالدين . اخرجه الترمذي وصححه ابن حبان والحاكم
“Abdullah bin Amr bin al-As (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Prophet ﷺ said: Allah’s pleasure lies in the pleasure of the parents, and Allah’s displeasure lies in the displeasure of the parents. It was related by al-Tirmidhi, and Ibn Hibban and al-Hakim declared it sahih.”
Takhrij:
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. Shaykh Nasir al-Din al-Albani has discussed its takhrij and authentication in detail in Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Sahihah
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Vocabulary: رِضَا: رَضِيَ عَنْهُ وَعَلَيْهِ يَرْضٰي رِضًا; it is the verbal noun of عَلِمَ يَعْلَمُ with a kasra on the ra.
Defective waw verb: سَخَطٌ is read سُخْطٌ, سُخُطٌ and سَخَطٌ, on the patterns of قُفْلٌ, عُنُقٌ and جَبَلٌ; it is the verbal noun of عَلِمَ يَعْلَمُ.
Benefits:
➊ From this hadith it is known that pleasing one’s parents is obligatory, and displeasing them is forbidden, because Allah’s pleasure lies in their pleasure and Allah’s displeasure lies in their displeasure. In the Holy Quran Allah has mentioned the rights of parents alongside His own right:
أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ
“Be grateful to Me and to your parents.”
And He said:
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانً
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you show kindness to parents.”
➋ There are many hadiths on the obligation of good treatment of parents; a few of them are these. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
رغم انف ثم رغم انف ثم رغم انف قيل : من يا رسول الله ؟ قال : ” من ادرك ابويه عند الكبر احدهما او كليهما فلم يدخل الجن
“May his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust, then may his nose be rubbed in dust, the one who found his parents, both or one of them, in old age, yet did not enter Paradise.”
(b) Ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ which deed is most beloved to Allah. He said: الصلوة لوقتها “Prayer at its proper time.” I asked: then which? He said: بر الوالدين “Good treatment of parents.” I asked: then which? He said: الجهاد فى سبيل الله “Jihad in the way of Allah.”
(c) Abu Bakrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: Shall I not tell you of the greatest of the major sins? He said it three times. We said: Yes, O Messenger of Allah! He ﷺ said: :الاشراك بالله وعقوق الوالدين
“Associating partners with Allah and disobeying (causing distress to) parents.”
➌ The command of parents is to be obeyed only when it does not contradict the command of Allah. If obedience to Allah would be violated, the command of parents is not to be obeyed. For example, if parents command an act that Allah has forbidden, or forbid a thing that Allah has made obligatory upon everyone, then their word is not to be followed.
It is related from Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: لا طاعة فى معصية انما الطاعة فى معروف
“There is no obedience in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in what is good (ma’ruf).” Especially if they command associating partners with Allah, obeying them is not permissible:
وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَى أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا
“And if they strive with you to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them.”
➍ Nawab Siddiq Khan (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his tafsir: The summary is that when a sin is committed, or when something must be abandoned that is fard ‘ayn (obligatory upon every individual), then the parents are not to be obeyed. Their obedience is only in those things that are permissible.
In Sharh al-Iqna it is said: If parents command the abandonment of an obligation, they are not to be obeyed, such as acquiring knowledge of what is obligatory upon a person, and that by which religion is upheld, such as purification, prayer, fasting, etc. (because the fulfilment of these obligations is not possible without knowledge of them). If this knowledge cannot be acquired in his own city, he may travel without their permission, because no word of the creation is to be obeyed in disobedience to the Creator.
Acquiring training in fighting the disbelievers and preparing for battle is also obligatory, since failing to prepare is the work of the hypocrites:
وَلَوْ أَرَادُوا الْخُرُوجَ لَأَعَدُّوا لَهُ عُدَّةً
“And had they intended to go forth, they would have made some preparation for it.”
If such preparation is not possible in one’s own city, then there is no condition of parental permission for travel, and if they forbid it, it is not permissible to obey them.
➎ Abdullah bin Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that a man came to the Prophet ﷺ and asked his permission for jihad. He ﷺ said: Are your parents alive? He said: Yes. He ﷺ said: Then strive in (serve) them.
Imam al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) placed a chapter on this hadith: الجهاد باذن الابوين “Jihad with the permission of the parents.” In its explanation, Hafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) says:
The majority of scholars say: when both parents, or one of them, forbid, jihad is forbidden, provided that they are both Muslims, because good treatment of them is an individual obligation (fard ‘ayn) upon him, and jihad is a collective obligation (fard kifayah). However, when jihad becomes an individual obligation, no permission is to be sought.
➏ When jihad becomes an individual obligation, if a person does not go for jihad because of the words of his parents, there is a danger of Allah’s punishment. Allah the Exalted said:
قُلْ إِن كَانَ آبَاؤُكُمْ وَأَبْنَاؤُكُمْ وَإِخْوَانُكُمْ وَأَزْوَاجُكُمْ وَعَشِيرَتُكُمْ وَأَمْوَالٌ اقْتَرَفْتُمُوهَا وَتِجَارَةٌ تَخْشَوْنَ كَسَادَهَا وَمَسَاكِنُ تَرْضَوْنَهَا أَحَبَّ إِلَيْكُم مِّنَ اللَّـهِ وَرَسُولِهِ وَجِهَادٍ فِي سَبِيلِهِ فَتَرَبَّصُوا حَتَّى يَأْتِيَ اللَّـهُ بِأَمْرِهِ وَاللَّـهُ لَا يَهْدِي الْقَوْمَ الْفَاسِقِينَ
“Say: If your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your wives, your kindred, the wealth you have acquired, the commerce you fear may decline, and the dwellings you are pleased with are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His cause, then wait until Allah brings His command (punishment). And Allah does not guide the defiantly disobedient people.”
➐ In the following situations, jihad becomes an individual obligation (fard ayn):
① When the enemy attacks or occupies the land of the Muslims (for details see Tafsir al-Qurtubi, fourth issue, verse 41 of Surah al-Tawbah).
② When the leader orders a group or a specific person to set out. واذا استنفرتم فانفروا
“When you are ordered to set out, then set out.”
③ When a person is on the battlefield and the fighting begins.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا إِذَا لَقِيتُمُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا زَحْفًا فَلَا تُوَلُّوهُمُ الْأَدْبَارَ
“O you who have believed, when you meet those who disbelieve in a battle line, do not turn your backs to them.”
