Message of the Nikah Sermon:
﴿يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا. يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنتُم مُّسْلِمُونَ. يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا . يُصْلِحْ لَكُمْ أَعْمَالَكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوبَكُمْ ۗ وَمَن يُطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ فَازَ فَوْزًا عَظِيمًا.﴾
“O people, fear your Lord who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both many men and women throughout the earth. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed, Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.”
“O you who have believed, fear Allah as He should be feared and do not die except as Muslims [in submission to Him].”
“O you who have believed, fear Allah and speak words of appropriate justice. He will [then] amend for you your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger has certainly attained a great attainment.”
Consider that every verse conveys the message of piety (taqwa).
Why? In fact, spouses can fulfill their responsibilities when there is piety among them. Therefore, at every marriage, all members of society are reminded to fear Allah, to maintain kinship ties, and to keep their affairs clear and straightforward. But we see that often at weddings, instead of piety, people act without fear of Allah and adopt customs and practices that go beyond the Sunnah and are disliked by Allah Almighty. In the following lines, an analysis regarding the “Bari” and “Baraat” customs is presented.
Baraat:
A crowd of men, women, and children dressed in bright, colorful clothes, a groom riding a horse, car, or carriage accompanied by the bride’s party, with bands playing and fireworks—a fascinating scene that we often witness in streets, intersections, markets, various open spaces, and wedding halls.
When this important procession reaches near the bride’s city, village, or neighborhood, it fires cannons or gunshots. As soon as the sound of cannon fire is heard, there is a commotion at the bride’s house shouting that the baraat has arrived. Along with all the guests present at the bride’s house, the locals come out to see the baraat from nearby and distant streets, rooftops of their houses, doors, and windows.
The Splendor of the Baraatis:
The guests arriving for the wedding are welcomed in a very grand manner. Young, well-dressed girls greet the honored guests by adorning them with garlands and necklaces. The guests themselves understand their importance well, so the boy’s relatives make every possible effort to include them in the wedding procession. Those who are not included in the procession boycott the other wedding ceremonies. Considerable effort and flattery are required to appease them.
For inclusion in the procession, men, women, and elders all make special preparations. On the other hand, the girl’s relatives also critically observe the guests in various ways and simultaneously make comments.
Determining the number of guests:
The number of wedding guests is determined in every marriage as if it is really mandatory. Out of 1000 weddings, 999 are such where the groom’s side insists on the bride’s side to meet the desired number. The bride’s side usually agrees with a “yes, okay,” whether or not they have the capacity to host that many people. Some bride’s side families manage to reduce the number of guests after negotiation. Although the determination of the number of guests depends on the approval of the bride’s side, the groom’s side’s wishes prevail. In almost 1000 weddings, barely one wedding occurs where the guests are brought according to the bride’s side’s wishes.
Often, those who bring the wedding party are very respectable people who do not like to burden the bride’s side. They say that after giving the daughter, what else remains to be done? It is not appropriate to burden them further. Therefore, while determining the number of guests, they tell the bride’s side that they will bring as many people as they say. Then, due to some compulsions, the list gradually takes shape like this: for example, the groom has four sisters whose presence is very necessary; weddings do not happen every day, and they have great desires to attend their brother’s wedding. The groom has two brothers, both married, and their presence along with their wives is also very necessary (and their six children are not even counted). There is also one maternal uncle, his three sons and two daughters, one paternal aunt and her family, one grandmother, two paternal uncles and their families, and some other relatives whose presence is also indispensable. And yes, one person from each household of our community must come. After all, the community must be included. That would be about thirty people. The groom has ten to fifteen friends, some colleagues of his father, two friends of our daughter, and three neighbors; after all, neighbors also have some rights.
Let’s say, altogether about one hundred and fifty people.
The groom’s side well knows that these 150 people actually mean bringing 250 people. Then there are the guests invited to the house, the band and musicians, and the men and women working at the wedding.
After that, there is a demand that the food should be good, at such and such hotel, so that people do not say, “What kind of relations are these that they cannot even provide decent food for four people?” And the bride’s side feeds the guests much better than their capacity to send their daughter off with honor to her home. They know well that if they do not do this, people will directly break off the relationship or start throwing taunts at their daughter as soon as she reaches home.
The depiction of the wedding party described here relates to certain areas of Punjab. Otherwise, in other regions, the style would certainly be different. It is even possible that in some tribes, the bride’s side takes the wedding party instead of the groom’s side, or the groom’s side bears all the expenses of the wedding party, or the concept of a wedding party does not exist at all in some societies.
In India, the custom of giving dowry exists. Since in ancient times there was a risk of looting, a large group of guests was sent along with the groom. Along with the bride, the valuable dowry items were also brought like spoils of war and protected against robbers on the way. This is why the wedding party is more common among Indian tribes.
The Bara’at in the Era of Prophethood:
And now let us come to the society established by our Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم to see what status Barat holds there. For this, it is necessary to know the Holy Quran, the books of Hadith and Seerah, and the life conditions of the Companions.
But what is this? Barat is not mentioned anywhere in all these, neither as a concept nor as a hint. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم married off his four daughters, performed eleven marriages himself, and arranged several other marriages during his lifetime, but all were without Barat; marriages without Barat, departures without Barat. In the society established by the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, marriage was such a routine event for which only the Walimah (wedding feast) was obligatory. This is why often after the marriages of the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, it was known that they had married.
It is narrated from Anas رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم saw saffron-colored dye on the clothes of Abdul Rahman bin Awf رضي الله عنه and asked, “What is this?”
He replied, “I have married.”
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم inquired, “For how much dowry?”
He said, “One Nawaat (approximately three grams, the size of a date stone) of gold.”
Upon hearing this, he said:
اولم ولو بشاة
“Hold a Walimah even if it is only a goat.”
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was dearer to the Companions than their parents, relatives, friends, and even their own lives and wealth. They would fight for his command, but they did not consider it necessary to invite him to their marriages, nor did the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم say to them, “Why did you not take me to the Barat?” or “How many Barats did you bring?” Rather, he emphasized that a Walimah should be held even if it is only a goat. It is clear that the only ceremony for marriage is the Walimah.
Defects of the Current Baraat:
Some people say that bringing a baraat is not prohibited in Islam and it is also a custom in our society; if there are no superstitions in it, then what is the harm? It is accepted that there should be no superstitions in it, but place the current baraats within the framework of Islam and decide for yourself where, which, and how many major defects exist.
Violation of Law:
Despite legal restrictions on serving food, the groom’s side insisted on serving food. Sometimes it happened that the baraat came to the village, but the food was served at a hotel in the city.
Breaking Promises:
More guests than the specified number are invited, including uninvited guests, and children are not counted in the number at all. Even if there are four children with one adult, they are counted as one. Interestingly, individuals under eighteen years of age are considered children. The Holy Quran states:
﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَوْفُوا بِالْعُقُودِ﴾
“O you who have believed, fulfill [all] contracts.”
It also states:
﴿وَأَوْفُوا بِالْعَهْدِ ۖ إِنَّ الْعَهْدَ كَانَ مَسْئُولًا﴾
“And fulfill [every] commitment. Indeed, the commitment is ever [that about which one will be] questioned.”
Bringing more guests than the specified number is a breach of promise, and instead of feeling remorse, it is said that such matters inevitably involve some increase or decrease. If such matters inevitably involve increase or decrease, then which matters are those that Muslims are obliged to keep correct and straight?
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم mentioned four signs of a hypocrite, one of which is: “When he makes a promise, he breaks it.”
Cause of Disorder:
Due to gathering a large number of wedding guests, often the wedding procession does not arrive at the scheduled time. This causes the bride’s family to endure the discomfort of waiting. The fare and transportation arrangements for such a large procession become a headache. Those who have to attend the procession usually come before it and leave after the Walima, thus increasing the burden of their hospitality on the host.
Guests Complaining:
If the guests do not find any matter of the bride’s family according to their liking, they find numerous faults. For example, the food was tasteless, the arrangements were not proper, etc. However, in Islamic Shariah, it is not correct for one Muslim to find faults in another Muslim’s worldly matters. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) did not find faults in any food; if he liked it, he would eat it, otherwise, he would not eat it, but he did not point out faults.
Mutual Displeasure:
Due to such a large commotion, many other unpleasantnesses occur between the parties; guests get upset over minor issues, and it is also forbidden to do anything that causes resentment, hatred, and quarrels among each other.
In Islam, if a matter is not made obligatory by Shariah and it causes a major sin, it is commanded to abandon it. It might be argued that if food is not served, then what about the bride’s side bringing a large dowry procession?
The answer is that if the groom’s side does not bring such a large dowry procession, what important matter of theirs will be hindered or will the marriage be prevented?
Invitation does not only mean an invitation to food; invitations to tea, fruits, drinks, sweets, etc., are also considered invitations. The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, after marrying some wives, gave only a simple meal of porridge and barley, such as the Walimah (marriage feast) after marrying Safiyyah رضي الله عنها.
Was this not a Walimah? In the present time, even seating such a large gathering is a problem. Even if only plain water is served, chairs and glasses must be provided for so many people. If arrangements are made for fifty people and a hundred come, will disorder not arise?
Honor or Humiliation:
People bring large wedding processions to increase their honor, but experience shows that in the presence of many people, any disagreement between the parties is exaggerated by those included in the procession. For example, issues regarding arrangements, food, behavior towards each other, disputes over dowry or dower, etc. In this way, those who bring the procession provide an opportunity for humiliation instead of honor.
Immodesty:
Often in wedding processions, boys and girls appear shamelessly unveiled, chatting, making indecent jokes, shouting slogans, and dancing together. Allah Almighty has forbidden unveiling, maintaining modesty, lowering the gaze, and any kind of mixing with non-mahram individuals. In fact, the command goes as far as:
﴿لَا تَقْرَبُوا الْفَوَاحِشَ مَا ظَهَرَ مِنْهَا وَمَا بَطَنَ﴾
“And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.”
Groom’s Adornment:
Beautifying oneself is only the right of women, and that too by observing hijab and only for their husbands. Adornment is forbidden for men; therefore, wearing silk and jewelry is prohibited for them.
Grooms are taken to beauty parlors like brides and are adorned. Makeup is applied. The Prophet of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم cursed those men who imitate women and those women who imitate men.
Is a man beautifying himself not an imitation of women?
Wearing a Sehra and Necklace:
Wearing a sehra and necklace is an adornment that is forbidden for men. Moreover, it is a Hindu custom and has no relation to Islam. The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
ليس منا من تشبه بغيرنا
“He is not one of us who imitates others.”
Singing or Wearing Bangles:
This is also a Hindu custom based on the belief that in this way the groom will be protected from evil eye and calamities. Whereas the Prophet Muhammad said:
“Whoever hangs an amulet or thread around his neck or arm, the responsibility is entrusted to that amulet or thread.”
Putting garlands of money:
The groom is adorned with garlands of banknotes, even though dirhams and dinars are such a trial that even if kept for necessity, there is a risk of falling into temptation. Allah Almighty has given wealth to fulfill the essential needs of life; it is not meant to be a cause for pride or display, nor to be worn as a necklace.
Riding on a horse, car, or carriage:
The groom’s vehicle is also decorated like the groom himself; this is wasteful spending, showing off, pride, and boasting. Whereas Allah Almighty’s command is:
﴿وَاللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ﴾
“Allah does not like the arrogant and boastful.”
The meaning of a saying of the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم is:
لا يدخل الجنة من كان فى قلبه مثقال ذرة من كبر
“Whoever has even an atom’s weight of pride in his heart will not enter Paradise.”
Bands and Music:
Band, baja, and all other types of musical instruments are absolutely forbidden. The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said:
يكون فى امتي قذف ومسخ و خسف قيل يارسول الله ومتى ذالك قال اذا ظهرت المعازف وكثرة القيعان شربت الخمور
“There will be a rain of stones, faces will be disfigured, and the earth will swallow people in my Ummah.” It was asked, O Messenger of Allah, when will this happen? He said, “When the custom of musical instruments and singing women becomes widespread and intoxicants are consumed in abundance.”
He also said:
لا تصحب الملئكة رفقة فيها كلب وجرس
“Mercy will not descend upon the companions who have bells and dogs with them.”
The cruelty is that some of the bride’s side insisted strongly not to bring band and musical instruments, but the groom’s side imposed their evil will and said this is a wedding procession, not a funeral. Drums and musical instruments will definitely be played. In this way, by including Satan in the wedding procession and pleasing him, they invite Allah’s punishment. Later, how can the relationship between husband and wife not deteriorate when Satan has been singing, dancing, and moving in their marriage? To think that by angering Allah and His Messenger, peace be upon him, there will be mercy and blessings is a delusion.
Throwing money over the groom’s head:
Allah has not given wealth to waste it, nor to show off, nor to throw it on the ground, rather Allah’s command is:
﴿يَا بَنِي آدَمَ خُذُوا زِينَتَكُمْ عِندَ كُلِّ مَسْجِدٍ وَكُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا وَلَا تُسْرِفُوا ۚ إِنَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ الْمُسْرِفِينَ﴾
“Eat and drink but do not waste; indeed, He does not like the wasteful.”
Meaning it should be used according to necessity because on the Day of Judgment, Allah will hold accountable every penny of this trust.
Making movies:
Photography is forbidden in all forms, but the practice of making movies is at its peak. All wedding guests, the groom and the bride come in front of the camera in different styles. The bride, whose adornment Islam has reserved only for her husband, is first seen by the movie maker. The husband, father, brother, all become pictures of shamelessness by having their pictures taken themselves. It is a grave sin for a non-mahram man to look at a woman and for a non-mahram woman to look at a non-mahram man, and according to the words of the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم, it is the adultery of the eye. The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
لا تدخل الملكئة بيتا فيه كلب وصورة
“In a house where there is a dog or a picture, the angels of mercy do not enter.”
However, in such places, Satan comes or the angels of punishment and death come. Today, the main reason for the failure of many marriages is that the foundation of the marriage, which should be piety, and whose sermon every verse urges piety, is violated by reciting that very sermon, and the foundation of the marriage is laid by the hands of Satan.
Sisters-in-law feeding milk to the groom:
This is a Hindu custom. Sisters-in-law use this pretext to tease and joke with the groom, and later some money is also collected. The glass used for feeding milk is also decorated, as mentioned earlier. Islam has declared unnecessary meetings and conversations between non-mahram individuals, as well as joking and laughing together, strictly forbidden. Since the sister-in-law is a non-mahram, all this is haram and impermissible.
Groom and bride sitting together on the stage:
Sitting together on the stage in front of all guests, men and women, who are non-mahram to the bride and groom, is extremely immodest and dishonorable.
Imitating Hindus:
The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
من تشبه بقوم فهو منهم
“He who imitates a people is one of them.”
We call ourselves Muslims and imitate the Hindus. Do we prefer the ways of others over the example of our beloved Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم? Is this the intention of Islam that we claim to be Muslims but act like others?
Other Customs:
Bathing the groom with water brought from the sacred rivers Ganga and Yamuna by Hindus, and water from the well of a shrine by Muslims for bathing.
Filling a pot for the bath, thus the groom’s sister-in-law carries a precious and beautiful pot on her head and proceeds with a crowd of people and drums playing. During the filling of the pot, women perform “gada dalna,” which is a type of dance, and sing obscene songs in which they mention the names of the groom’s parents and attribute obscene remarks to them.
Then the groom is seated publicly on a platform among the women and bathed with this water, songs are sung, the wedding veil is tied, a red scarf is placed on his head, a sword is given in his hand, and his sister-in-law feeds him butter and sugar and takes her “laag” (a ceremonial token).
The groom mounting the horse, and now decorating the carriage or car or horse carriage, the sisters taking the “bagh pharai” (a ceremonial token), Hindus visiting a goddess’s shrine, and Muslims visiting a shrine in the world to offer salutations and offerings. After this, the entire wedding procession proceeds towards the bride’s house with drums, fireworks, and throwing coins and money. Upon arrival, the bride’s friends block the procession’s path, feed the groom milk and take their “laag,” throw dirt and cow dung into the groom’s food during his meal, hide the groom’s shoes, create a comical image of the groom’s mother and sisters with mud or clay and place it before the groom, which is called “better waghori.” Then the bride is prepared, seated in a palanquin, and brought. Many other rituals are also included. Throughout this entire affair, young girls and women continue singing obscene songs and making obscene jokes.
Evil:
Bari refers to the items that the in-laws provide to the bride. In the present era, it has become an important and expensive custom. People exert great effort to show off and maintain their prestige. Wealthy people spend lavishly to display their affluence, and the middle class spends heavily to imitate them. It is heard that the bride’s wedding day outfit alone costs up to one hundred thousand.
In Bari, there is a custom of having 21, 31, 41, 49, 66, 71, and 81 sets.
Each suit is adorned with shiny gota or embroidery work, and the stitching matches each set. Additionally, gold, silver, diamond or artificial jewelry, shoes, and makeup items are added. Stitching the Bari in such a way that the entire work of the dupatta, shalwar, and kameez is visible, and each set is embroidered in a different style, is itself a highly skilled task.
The groom and bride are seated on the stage, and the groom’s sisters, sisters-in-law, and other female relatives stand with them, showing each set to the attendees one by one, while the movie camera records all these scenes. Then people praise or criticize the Bari, saying such and such Bari was magnificent, and such and such was inferior.
All the social evils present in the Baraat are also found in Bari:
⋆ Islam grants the woman the right to be adorned on her wedding, provided that no forbidden matters are involved.
⋆ The in-laws may gift the bride jewelry, clothing, or anything else, provided there is no show-off or extravagance, but it is according to their means.
⋆ There should be no useless or excessive items that are of no use to the bride.
⋆ Most of the Bari in today’s society goes to waste because a few sets are sufficient to wear.
⋆ The designs, prints, stitching, and embroidery trends keep changing daily. Therefore, after going out of fashion, women do not use them, and the money spent on them is wasted.
⋆ Even if the clothes are not to the bride’s liking, she does not use them.
⋆ The money, time, and skill spent on making and stitching the Bari all go to waste. Meanwhile, Allah Almighty will hold account for all this in the Hereafter.
The real intention behind making Bari is showing off. This is why it is extravagantly spent on and displayed. Whereas the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
من سمع الناس بعمله سمع الله به اسامع خلقه و حقرة و صغرة
“Whoever does a deed to show off to others, Allah will disclose his deed to His creation and will humiliate and disgrace him.”
In the era of the Prophethood, there was no custom of Bari. Umm al-Mu’minin Aisha Siddiqah رضي الله عنها narrates:
قد كان لى منهن درع على عهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فما كانت امراة تقين بالمدينة إلا ارسلت الى تسعيره
“In the time of the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم, I had a single outfit that any woman in Medina needed for adornment at the time of her marriage, and she would borrow it from me.”
SubhanAllah, how simple the Bari was, how blessed, low-cost, and easy it was.
Wastefulness (Forbidden Spending):
In short, it is a collection of many forbidden expenditures. Every custom and tradition inherently involves wasteful spending. Allah Almighty has said about those who spend on satanic and wasteful customs:
﴿وَآتِ ذَا الْقُرْبَىٰ حَقَّهُ وَالْمِسْكِينَ وَابْنَ السَّبِيلِ وَلَا تُبَذِّرْ تَبْذِيرًا. إِنَّ الْمُبَذِّرِينَ كَانُوا إِخْوَانَ الشَّيَاطِينِ ۖ وَكَانَ الشَّيْطَانُ لِرَبِّهِ كَفُورًا.﴾
“And give the relatives their due, and the needy, and the traveler, and do not squander wastefully. Indeed, the wasteful are brothers of the devils, and the devil is ever ungrateful to his Lord’s blessings.”
Opinions of Some Contemporary Scholars
Dr. Israr Ahmed:
⋆ Presenting a few reformative suggestions regarding weddings. If, on this occasion, the food invitation program is excluded, then the entire concept of the wedding procession automatically ceases to exist. The reality is that it is indeed worthy of being ended, rather a hundred times worthy. This word itself is purely foreign, and thus its entire concept is purely foreign as well. The image of it is purely Hindu, which has become ingrained in our minds as a necessary part of a wedding—that a group gathers and formally marches to the bride’s house in an attacking manner, and then returns triumphantly carrying the bride’s palanquin. This is a purely Hindu concept, which many should necessarily detest.
Respected Hafiz Salahuddin Yusuf:
Excerpts from the answer to a question regarding the marriage procession (Baraat):
⋆ This practice of Baraat, which is prevalent in Pakistan and India, has no Islamic legitimacy and is subject to reform. Demanding lavish meals from the bride’s side is extremely mean. Islam neither permits this nor is it in accordance with common humanity and standards of decency.
⋆ There is no such thing found in any marriage of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم.
⋆ Following the method of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم is obligatory for Muslims all over the world.
⋆ Those who follow common customs are not acting in a manner worthy of imitation.
In response to another inquiry, it is written:
⋆ There is no concept of Baraat in Islam; this entire concept is a result of mixing with non-Muslims.
⋆ Bringing the entire community, friends, and relatives along with a large group to the bride’s house is a useless custom and there is a dire need to end it.
⋆ The correct practice is that only the necessary family members go to the bride’s house, perform the marriage simply, and bring the bride to their home. Only the announcement of the marriage is necessary, and it is done in front of the families of both parties. After that, the groom should hold a Walimah (feast) according to his means; extravagance, showiness, and complications are against the spirit of Shariah.
⋆ The Baraat is taken with the gathering of many people, which causes many evils such as bands, fireworks, garlands, and the noisy antics of jesters. If the concept of Baraat is abolished, these evils will automatically end.
Maulana Ubaidullah Afeef:
Regarding the legal status of the marriage procession (Baraat), he writes:
The marriage of Umm Habiba (may Allah be pleased with her) was conducted by the guardian, the Abyssinian Najashi, with the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم, and he set a dowry of 4,000 dirhams on his behalf and sent it to Madinah with Sharjeel bin Hasnah.
It is understood that the Baraat is not legally necessary, but there is no narration forbidding it either. If necessary people go to settle essential matters and bring the bride home, there is no harm. However, the customary extravagances and reckless display of men for fame and reputation are neither necessary nor permissible. Therefore, the procession should be modest; otherwise, committing major sins like showing off, seeking fame, extravagance, and wastefulness becomes inevitable. It is also necessary that the participants of the Baraat, as much as possible, adhere to Shariah. Considering the inclusion of the groom’s friends and some relatives as an un-Islamic collective or Hindu custom is also incorrect. Neither excess nor deficiency is permissible in this matter.
Ashraf Ali Thanwi:
Ashraf Ali Thanvi has enumerated nearly 100 sins related to the wedding procession in the sixth part of Bahishti Zewar, “Explanation of Customs.” At the end, as a summary, he has mentioned again some major sins present in the wedding procession, which are as follows:
➊ Wasting money extravagantly
➋ Showing off and pride, i.e., ostentation
➌ Excessive adherence to customs
➍ Imitating disbelievers
➎ Taking usurious loans or borrowing unnecessarily
➏ Forcibly accepting gifts and honors
➐ Immodesty
➑ Shirk and corruption of faith
➒ Missing prayers or praying at disliked times
➓ Assisting in sin
⓫ Persisting in sin and considering it good.
Maulana Naeem Siddiqui Sahib:
In his book “Woman in the Arena of Struggle,” under the title “Customs of Marriage,” he expresses his heartfelt pain over the state of all the corruptions step by step. Consider this excerpt!
The Kingdom of Celebration:
Then somewhere with wedding processions come bands, drums, and fireworks, and somewhere from the groom’s side comes the deafening, vulgar noise of recordings; then from the bride’s side, the pure domestic songs of pots, plates, and dholak take the matter further into the culture of uproar. Some are film lyrics, some are dholki songs, and artistic skill is also included and even incited. It is as if a kingdom is being conquered, not a marriage being held, and its celebration is underway. In Islam, even such celebrations are observed with prostration and servitude. These Muslims, whose half-brothers are being slaughtered by the thousands in Afghanistan, Palestine, Lebanon, Syria, India, Abyssinia, the Philippines, and African states, and whose other half-brothers lie as refugees in numerous camps, and who stand equipped with modern weapons on one side by Russia and on the other by India. This is the state of their interests and pastimes. Without abandoning all these frivolities, the worship of the One God and the elevation of religion cannot be achieved.
⋆ The wealth we squander in this way, is it not the usurpation of others’ rights, and will we not have to account for every penny in the Hereafter? Is the world a realm of darkness and wealth a plundered feast from which anyone can loot as much as they want and then either throw it into the river or set it on fire? No, this is the property of God’s treasury, and every particle of it must be accounted for.
That sexual immorality of youth, killing of women in the name of honor, love marriage and court marriage, gang rape incidents, abduction, murder, and various causes of terrorism are pointed out, and one reason is also stated:
Mixed education and imitation of the West’s best result can be seen in the domestic wedding ceremonies, which have a very large part in the evil of social conditions and environment: women adorned in flashy clothes and countless jewelry getting off vehicles and coming into the house in front of men; young girls and boys taking advantage of “innocence” to engage in various whispers and encounters with wrong people in a certain area; along with veiled women, unveiled women and girls also getting involved; cameras and audio-video recordings targeting especially the bride and the elders of the bridegroom’s family and the women themselves coming; a comprehensive video film of the general seating in their tents being taken. All this is part of the same chain, which we call the poison of incitements.
Final Word:
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
ان اعظم النكاح بركة اليسره موونة .
“There is more blessing in the marriage which is less expensive and easy.”
Consider whether dowry and lavish weddings make marriage less expensive or do they create ease or difficulties? If we want the marriage to build a household and not destroy it, then it is necessary to abandon customs that create difficulties and increase expenses in marriage. When Allah sent the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم, the purpose of this mission was also stated:
﴿وَيَضَعُ عَنْهُمْ إِصْرَهُمْ وَالْأَغْلَالَ الَّتِي كَانَتْ عَلَيْهِمْ﴾
“And He removes from them their burden and the shackles which were upon them.”
The Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, who freed us from all the chains and shackles of beliefs, customs, and society, taught us a very easy way of marriage and performed thousands of such marriages, but we borrow money and quarrel with each other, putting the chains of these customs on our feet.
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
من حسن إسلام المرء تركه ما لا يعنيه
“The excellence of a man’s Islam is that he abandons that which does not concern him.”
Dowry and lavish weddings are meaningless acts; abandoning them is Sunnah. We should, instead of the customary dowry, take only a few necessary people along. One or two important women of the house, mother, sister, paternal aunt, grandmother, etc., so that the bride can bring them along. On the way, the bride can tell them anything she needs.
Do not trouble yourself with making and taking a lavish dowry; either the bride should come wearing the set from her parents’ house or the in-laws should send jewelry and clothes for the bride in advance.
Is it not possible, like in the time of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, that at least within the family, one set is prepared for all brides and worn at the wedding? Because such a heavy set can only be worn on the first day. After that, it has no use. In this regard, the bride and groom themselves should take the initiative so that the Sunnah way of marriage becomes common in society.
Those included in the Baraat:
Forget the idea of becoming a guest (barati) in the future. When the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم, the Mothers of the Believers, and the Companions did not participate in any wedding as guests, then what need do we have to become guests?
It is also possible that the number of guests exceeds the agreed individuals; thus, rejecting the possibility of going as an uninvited guest is a virtue of a Muslim.
The Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم forbade eating the food of those who invite others to show off.
The purpose of the invitation for guests is nothing but mutual boasting; otherwise, it could have been that a few needy people accompany the groom.
Taking a gathering of women, children, and young boys, bearing their travel expenses, and the excessive spending of the bride’s family for their sake and hospitality—if this is not pride, then what is it? Whereas the Holy Quran states:
﴿اعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَزِينَةٌ وَتَفَاخُرٌ بَيْنَكُمْ وَتَكَاثُرٌ فِي الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَوْلَادِ﴾
“Know that the life of this world is but play, amusement, adornment, and boasting among yourselves, and rivalry in wealth and children.”
The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم forbade participating in any invitation where forbidden acts occur. The Companions were careful not to attend any gathering involving forbidden matters. For example, Abdullah bin Umar رضي الله عنهما invited Abu Ayyub Ansari رضي الله عنه to eat. When Abu Ayyub Ansari arrived, he saw a curtain hanging on the wall. Upon inquiry, Abdullah bin Umar رضي الله عنهما said that the women forced them to hang this curtain. Abu Ayyub Ansari said, “I feared that someone else might do this, but I did not expect this from you. By Allah, I will not eat your food,” and left without eating.
Our Islam and our claim of love for the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم demand that we stay away from all invitations and gatherings involving forbidden matters, including those for guests (barat).
Participation in a Gathering Involving Forbidden Matters?
Sheikh al-Hadith Maulana Aziz Zubaidi Sahib:
In response to an inquiry, he writes: “Participation in a wedding or similar event with band music is permissible for the one who can go and stop it; for others, it is not.” A person invited Abdullah bin Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) to a wedding. He went and saw the house decorated with curtains. He (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “Why, sir! Since when have you brought the Kaaba into your house?” Then he said to his companions, “Stand up and remove the curtains.”
Ibn Hajar (may Allah be pleased with him) holds the opinion that “Only the one who has the power to stop it should participate in such a gathering; otherwise, not.”
Maulana Mubashir Ahmad Rabbani:
Those gatherings and assemblies in which drums, tablas, sarangis, musical instruments, dancing, singing, and image-making, which are prohibited, are present, are acts of disobedience to Allah Almighty and are indeed mocking the Shariah commands. Participation in them is unlawful and forbidden.
Allah Almighty commands in the Holy Quran:
﴿ وَقَدْ نَزَّلَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِي الْكِتَابِ أَنْ إِذَا سَمِعْتُمْ آيَاتِ اللَّهِ يُكْفَرُ بِهَا وَيُسْتَهْزَأُ بِهَا فَلَا تَقْعُدُوا مَعَهُمْ حَتَّىٰ يَخُوضُوا فِي حَدِيثٍ غَيْرِهِ ۚ إِنَّكُمْ إِذًا مِّثْلُهُمْ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ جَامِعُ الْمُنَافِقِينَ وَالْكَافِرِينَ فِي جَهَنَّمَ جَمِيعًا﴾
“When you hear the verses of Allah being denied and mocked in a gathering, do not sit with them until they engage in some other talk; otherwise, you would be like them. Indeed, Allah will gather all the disbelievers and hypocrites in Hell.”
Participation in such gatherings where evil deeds and prohibitions exist was detestable in the sight of the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم and the righteous companions رضي الله عنهم. It is narrated from Ali رضي الله عنه that I prepared food and invited the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم. When he صلى الله عليه وسلم came to our house, he saw a curtain with images and left the house, then said:
إن الملئكة لا تدخل بيتا فيه تصاوير .
“Indeed, angels do not enter a house in which there are images.”
Imam Awza’i:
We do not participate in a Walimah where there are drums and sarangis.
(Reference: Aap Ke Masail by Maulana Mubashir Ahmad Rabbani) For details on attending gatherings involving forbidden matters, see the booklet “Wedding Rituals, Invitations, and Participation in Them.”
The groom’s party eating at the bride’s house:
Respecting Dr. Israr Ahmed’s article “A Reform Movement for Marriage,” scholar of Hadith Ghazi Aziz Sahib supports Dr. Sahib by declaring all the evils present in the marriage procession (Baraat) wrong, but with multiple arguments, he proves that eating food at the groom’s side by the bride’s family is not forbidden but rather recommended. The summary of his lengthy arguments is as follows:
⋆ Islam greatly emphasizes hospitality and kindness to guests, and the groom’s party are also guests. Therefore, they should be served food.
⋆ In Arabic language and idiom, Walimah is the name of any feast held on the occasion of marriage, whether arranged by the bride’s side or the groom’s side, on the wedding day or any day afterward.
⋆ After the marriage of Umm Habibah (may Allah be pleased with her) to the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, when the attendees began to leave, the Negus said, “Everyone remain seated; it is the Sunnah of all Prophets to feed people on the occasion of marriage.” Accordingly, they served food.
⋆ When the marriage of Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) was arranged by the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم with Ali (may Allah be pleased with him), he instructed Bilal (may Allah be pleased with him) to slaughter camels and prepare food. Bilal fulfilled this command.
The main point is that the bride’s side inviting and serving food to their own or the groom’s relatives is not impermissible but Sunnah. However, the groom’s side taking their relatives along in the customary Baraat procession is a Hindu custom and is not correct. The relatives of the groom whom the bride’s side has invited willingly may go and accept the invitation on their own; in this case, they will not be considered the groom’s Baraatis but personal guests of the bride’s side. Also, the bride’s side should invite according to their happiness and capability without any pressure, not under the pressure of the groom’s side.
The Duty of the Marriage Registrar and Witnesses:
A reciter was called to conduct a marriage ceremony. Upon arriving at the wedding hall, he saw that it was a mixed gathering and music was playing. He refused to conduct the marriage. The girl’s family had the fear of Allah in their hearts. They not only corrected the situation immediately but also conducted the marriages of other children in a very simple and Sunnah-based manner.
If the marriage officiants (Maulvis), who are primarily responsible for the reform of the Muslim society, and the marriage registrar witnesses resolve that they will neither conduct marriages nor register or testify unless the guardians of the bride and groom abandon unnecessary and forbidden customs, then automatically the prevention of immoral practices will be achieved.
If the person delivering the marriage sermon informs the attendees about the true purpose and objectives of marriage, its Sunnah procedures, and the prohibitions along with the warnings mentioned, this will also be very effective in eliminating unnecessary customs.
Maulana Ilyas (may Allah have mercy on him) attended a wedding and while talking to his familiar students said: Today is the day of happiness for you in which even the wicked are made happy. You do not even tolerate that the household servant remains unhappy. Tell me honestly, do you have any concern for pleasing the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم?
If you think carefully, it is true that at weddings, besides the bride’s and groom’s families and their relatives, even servants and employees are considered necessary to be pleased. Every un-Islamic custom and forbidden act is passed off as the happiness of the children. They boast that weddings do not happen every day and forget that the One who blesses it, brings joy and peace, is being rejected. May Allah protect us from this. The sacred personality whose commands they claim to follow is being turned away from, and by abandoning the Sunnah, they are preparing for disgrace in this world and the Hereafter with their own hands. May Allah enable us to do every deed according to the Sunnah.
Ameen!
Important Individual Aspects of Islamic Society
⋆ The purpose of human life is the worship and obedience of Allah. Therefore, the requirements of worship and obedience must be fulfilled within the limits of obedience to the Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم.
⋆ To keep the obedience and love of the Seal of the Prophets صلى الله عليه وسلم in mind in every aspect of life.
⋆ To consider the child as a blessing from Allah and to raise him according to Islamic values and manners.
⋆ To arrange marriage immediately upon reaching the age of maturity.
⋆ To prioritize piety in the search for a spouse.
⋆ To marry and consummate the marriage rather than having a long engagement.
⋆ To follow the Prophetic standard in necessities; if there is surplus, to spend it within the limits set by Allah.
⋆ To act upon the commands of Allah Almighty.
⋆ To observe modesty, hijab, and lowering the gaze.
⋆ To strive to fulfill the rights of others rather than demanding one’s own rights.
⋆ The responsibilities of a man as a guardian: earning through lawful means, protecting the commands and prohibitions, acquiring knowledge of leadership and caliphate, and applying it as much as possible.
⋆ To maintain respect and dignity for women.
⋆ For a woman to remain at home, obey the guardian (within the limits of Shariah), and fulfill the responsibilities of supervising the children.
⋆ To follow the lifestyle of the Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, instead of the extravagant and luxurious life of other nations.
⋆ To immerse oneself in the success of the Hereafter rather than the comforts of this world.
