The Islamic Rulings on Mourning and Weeping for the Deceased
The Incident of Umm al-Mu’minin Zaynab bint Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her)
The brother of Umm al-Mu’minin Zaynab bint Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her) passed away.
Three days later, she asked for perfume and applied it to her body.
She said:
“I had no need of perfume, but I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say: It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn over a deceased person for more than three days, except for a husband, for whom the mourning period is four months and ten days.”
The Practice of Sayyida Umm Atiyya (may Allah be pleased with her)
The son of Sayyida Umm Atiyya (may Allah be pleased with her) passed away.
On the third day, she had yellow perfume brought and applied it to her body, and said:
“For us, mourning for anyone other than a husband for more than three days (over a death) is forbidden.”
Weeping Over the Deceased
Tears flowing from the eyes
If tears flow involuntarily from the eyes upon seeing the deceased, then this is permissible.
The Prophet ﷺ began to weep over Sa’d ibn ‘Ubadah when he fainted, and the Companions also wept.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Allah does not punish for the weeping of the eye or the distress of the heart, but He punishes for the tongue’s wailing and lamentation.”
The True Definition of Patience
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Only that patience is valid which occurs at the first moment of the calamity.”
The meaning is that patience after wailing is not patience; the real patience is the demonstration of submission and contentment at the time of calamity.
Prohibition of Wailing and Lamentation
It is narrated from Sayyidna ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
“He is not from us who slaps his cheeks, tears his collar, and calls out with the cries of the Jahiliyyah.”
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“I disassociate myself from the one who (in the calamity of death) tears out his hair, wails loudly, and tears his clothes.”
Allah’s Reward for Patience
Glad tidings of Paradise
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
“Allah says: For My believing servant whose beloved I take, and who remains patient over it, the reward is Paradise.”
Four Practices of the Jahiliyyah
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
“There are four practices of the Jahiliyyah which some people of my Ummah will also perform:
➊ Boasting about lineage
➋ Taunting others about their ancestry
➌ Seeking rain through the stars
➍ Wailing
And if a wailing woman does not repent before her death, then on the Day of Judgment she will be given a garment of sulphur and a shawl of scabies.”
Belief in astrology and linking the stars to rainfall also falls among the superstitions of the Jahiliyyah.
The Grief of the Prophet ﷺ
The death of his son Sayyidna Ibrahim
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“The eye sheds tears and the heart is grieved, but we will only say that which pleases our Lord. By Allah, O Ibrahim! We are saddened by your separation.”
Tears at the death of his grandson
Tears flowed from the eyes of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ at the death of his grandson.
Sayyidna Sa’d ibn ‘Ubadah (may Allah be pleased with him) asked: O Messenger of Allah! What is this?
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“This is the mercy that Allah has placed in the hearts of His servants, and Allah shows mercy only to those among His servants who are merciful.”
Glad Tidings to Parents on the Death of Children
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“If a woman’s three children die and she remains patient seeking Allah’s pleasure, those children will become a barrier for her from the Fire.”
A woman asked: What if there are two children?
He said:
“Two children as well.”
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: This refers to children who have not reached puberty.
Intercession of Children
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“They (the children) will meet their parents, they will hold on to their clothing or hand, and will not let go until Allah admits them and their parents into Paradise.”
The Prophet ﷺ also said:
“Allah will admit the father into Paradise because of His mercy and grace towards these children.”
Provided the father’s belief is correct. (‘A, R)
