1 — Limit of Mourning for a Woman
Hadith — Zaynab bint Jahsh (رضي الله عنها):
When her brother passed away, she applied perfume after three days and said:
“I had no need for perfume, but I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say: It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for anyone more than three days, except for her husband — for whom she mourns four months and ten days.”
(Bukhari 1281, Muslim 1486)
2 — Umm ʿAtiyyah’s Practice
When her son died, Umm ʿAtiyyah (رضي الله عنها) applied saffron after three days and said:
“It is forbidden for us to mourn for anyone other than a husband for more than three days.”
(Bukhari 1229)
3 — Weeping for the Deceased
Hadith:
Tears flowing from the eyes upon seeing the deceased are permissible.
When Saʿd ibn ʿUbādah became unconscious, the Prophet ﷺ wept, and so did the companions.
He ﷺ said:
“Allah does not punish for the tears of the eyes or the grief of the heart, but He punishes — or shows mercy — for this (pointing to his tongue).”
(Bukhari 1303, Muslim 924)
4 — True Patience
Hadith:
“True patience is at the first strike of calamity.”
(Bukhari 1283, Muslim 926)
5 — Prohibition of Wailing and Self-Harm
Hadith — Ibn Masʿud (رضي الله عنه):
“He is not one of us who strikes the cheeks, tears the clothes, and calls with the calls of the pre-Islamic era.”
(Bukhari 1294, Muslim 103)
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“I am free from those who shave their heads, wail, and tear their clothes in mourning.”
(Bukhari 1296, Muslim 104)
6 — Reward for Patience
Hadith:
Allah says:
“For My believing servant who loses his beloved and is patient, I have nothing to offer except Paradise.”
(Bukhari 6424)
7 — Four Practices of Jahiliyyah that Remain in the Ummah
Hadith:
“Four practices of the pre-Islamic period will remain in my Ummah:
① Boasting about one’s lineage,
② Disparaging others’ lineage,
③ Seeking rain by the stars,
④ Wailing over the dead.
If the wailing woman does not repent before she dies, she will be raised on the Day of Resurrection wearing a garment of tar and a shirt of scabs.”
(Muslim 934)
8 — The Prophet’s Grief for His Son Ibrahim
Hadith:
“The eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved, but we will not say except that which pleases our Lord. Indeed, O Ibrahim, we are grieved by your separation.”
(Bukhari 1303, Muslim 2315)
9 — Tears at the Death of His Grandson
When the Prophet’s ﷺ grandson died, his eyes overflowed with tears.
Saʿd ibn ʿUbādah (رضي الله عنه) asked: “What is this, O Messenger of Allah?”
He ﷺ said:
“This is mercy which Allah has placed in the hearts of His servants. Allah only shows mercy to those among His servants who are merciful.”
(Bukhari 1284, Muslim 923)
10 — Glad Tidings for Parents Whose Children Die
Hadith:
- “Any woman whose three children die and she seeks reward will have them as a shield from Hellfire.”
A woman asked: “What if two?” He ﷺ said: “Two as well.”
Abu Hurayrah (رضي الله عنه) said: “They mean children who had not reached puberty.”
(Bukhari 99, Muslim 2632) - “They will meet their parents, take hold of their clothes or hands, and will not let go until Allah admits them and their parents into Paradise.”
(Muslim 2635) - “Allah will admit the father of such children into Paradise due to His mercy and favor upon them.”
(Bukhari 1292)
