Question
What is the ruling on speaking with a non-mahram through the internet? This includes chatting, email, or conversation in a forum. Is it correct if the conversation is held to discuss religious matters? Is making friends with a non-mahram through the internet, whether for a religious purpose or for passing time, permissible?
Answer
If the purpose of the conversation is to seek guidance on religious issues, then it may be carried out while keeping dignity, modesty, seriousness and the teachings of the Shariah in mind. The Companions used to seek guidance from Sayyidah Aisha on many matters.
And if the purpose of the conversation is to pass time and form friendships, then speaking with non-mahram men or women is impermissible, forbidden and prohibited. Without a specific need, this is a futile act, and it will ultimately lead to committing what is forbidden. The jurists say:
’’دواعي الي الحرام ،حرام‘‘
That is, the things that lead to what is forbidden are also impermissible.
It is narrated from Hadrat Amr bin al-As, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ strictly forbade a woman from speaking with non-mahram men without her husband’s permission. Another narration says that women were also strictly forbidden, with severe displeasure, from speaking sweetly and softly with non-mahram men, lest men become attracted to them. That is, if a woman speaks soft and gentle words to a non-mahram man, desire will arise in the man’s heart and the hidden corruption will awaken, which is harmful to both and a cause of punishment.
A woman’s conversation with a man is permissible only when she is guaranteed protection from temptation, and Allah the Exalted says in the Holy Quran:
“واذا سالتموهن متاعا فاسئلوهن من وراء حجاب“
And when you ask them for something as a necessity, ask them from behind a screen.
Then a woman’s speaking with a non-mahram man is permissible only to the extent of necessity, and in this too it must be observed where the Shariah has set its limits. In conversation between men and women, a soft tone (the manner of a sweet and seductive voice) should not be used, because when you speak to someone in a seductive voice, the listener will obviously think that you are encouraging him, and he will happily keep telling your stories to others, since that is their habit: “We have friendships with so many girls,” or “so many girls die for us.” So, for God’s sake, protect yourselves from these scoundrels and adopt the straight path of religion, lest a step taken in ignorance drag you tomorrow into the fire of hell.
The Shariah position on a woman’s conversation with a non-mahram over the telephone is that, due to some unavoidable reasons, a man is permitted to speak with a woman as needed within the bounds of the Shariah. Yet great care must be taken in this as well, because this too is a form of forbidden seclusion, in which the third party is Satan, and the importance of avoiding it must be emphasised. Such conversation sometimes leads to fornication and adultery, just as today an epidemic has spread where, on the radio, men and women or women and men listen to songs of their choice over the telephone and remain engaged in obscene joking. This is an extremely frivolous act from which it is essential to abstain, because girls of this kind give their hearts to such boys and ruin both their worldly life and their hereafter.
Allah the Exalted knows best what your intention is. It is better to stay far away from such an epidemic, which leads to the very door of destruction. A woman’s speaking on the telephone is permissible, but she should not speak in a soft tone, nor should there be softness in her speech; she should speak only what is necessary, as much as the Shariah requires, and no more.
And the immodest conversation that goes on over the telephone is purely forbidden. Such conversation must be avoided, because when such girls are stopped, they say that when they go to the bazaar or buy and sell from a shopkeeper, they also speak to men, so is that not a sin?
So, O servants of Allah! When you buy and sell or ride in a rickshaw or taxi, your tone is necessarily firm, but when this tone is directed at someone from whom Islam has commanded distance, that same tone turns from firmness to softness and seductiveness, which is a plain sin. When men and women get the opportunity for such conversation that leads them to fornication, such conversation should indeed be abandoned. It is the duty of parents to keep watch over their daughters, to know with whom, when, where and in what tone they are speaking, and not to assist them in this forbidden game. Because when they announce on the telephone that they will listen to songs of their choice, the matter goes this way: now let me speak with my mother, now let me speak with my younger sister. They themselves are involved in sin, and they are also drawing others into sins.
