In last Friday’s sermon, the importance of marriage, its benefits, and some principles of a successful marital life were discussed, and it was clarified that the success of spouses lies in fulfilling each other’s rights and that no one should usurp the rights of the other. It was also explained that rights are of three types:
① Mutual rights
② Husband’s rights over the wife
③ Wife’s rights over the husband
The mutual rights have already been discussed; now the remaining two types will be explained.
Husband’s Rights over the Wife
1) Serving the Husband
According to custom and law, serving the husband is the husband’s right over the wife. It is narrated from Hazrat Hussain bin Muhsin (may Allah be pleased with him) that his paternal aunt came to serve the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. When she finished, the Prophet ﷺ asked: Is your husband present? She said: Yes. The Prophet ﷺ asked: How do you treat him? She replied: I serve him in every way except that I become unable. Then the Prophet ﷺ said:
(( فَانْظُرِیْ أَیْنَ أَنْتِ مِنْہُ،فَإِنَّمَا ہُوَ جَنَّتُکِ وَنَارُکِ))
Translation: “Look carefully at where you stand in relation to your husband, for he is your paradise and he is your hell.”
Meaning, if a woman takes care of her husband’s service and rights, it will be a cause of paradise for her, and if she is negligent, there is a severe warning.
Example of the Female Companions
The early righteous women of this Ummah did not neglect serving their husbands. Hazrat Fatimah رضي الله عنها (the daughter of the Prophet ﷺ) served Hazrat Ali رضي الله عنه, working so hard in household chores that her hands would develop blisters from grinding the millstone. When prisoners came, they asked for servants, but the Prophet ﷺ was not found at home. Later, the Prophet ﷺ went to their house and said:
“Shall I not tell you something better than a servant? When you go to bed, recite Allahu Akbar 34 times, SubhanAllah 33 times, and Alhamdulillah 33 times; this is better for you than a servant.”
And Hazrat Asma bint Abi Bakr (may Allah be pleased with her) narrates that Hazrat Zubair (may Allah be pleased with him) neither had property nor slaves, only one camel and one horse. I used to feed the horse, carry water on the camel, sew the saddle myself, knead the dough myself, but I did not know how to bake bread, so the Ansari women of the neighborhood used to bake it. And the land that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ had given to Hazrat Zubair (may Allah be pleased with him) as a grant was about two miles away; I used to pick dates there and carry them on my head…
These were two great female companions, yet they served their husbands. Therefore, today’s women—no matter how good their families or wealthy they are—are not superior to them; they too should adopt an attitude of service and cooperation.
2) Obedience to the Husband
The second right of the husband over the wife is that she obeys him and does not disobey his commands. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَۃُ خَمْسَہَا،وَصَامَتْ شَہْرَہَا،وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَہَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَہَا،قِیْلَ لَہَا: ادْخُلِیْ الْجَنَّۃَ مِنْ أَیِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّۃِ شِئْتِ ))
Translation: “When a woman performs her five prayers, fasts during Ramadan, guards her private parts, and obeys her husband, she will be told: Enter through whichever gate of Paradise you wish.”
Regarding the best among women, it is said:
(( اَلَّتِیْ تَسُرُّہُ إِذَا نَظَرَ،وَتُطِیْعُہُ إِذَا أَمَرَ،وَلَا تُخَالِفُہُ فِیْ نَفْسِہَا وَمَالِہَا بِمَا یَکْرَہُ))
“She is the one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and does not disobey him in matters concerning herself and her wealth, in anything he dislikes.”
And the severe warning against disobedience:
(( اِثْنَانِ لَا تُجَاوِزُ صَلَاتُہُمَا رُؤُوْسَہُمَا… وَامْرَأَۃٌ عَصَتْ زَوْجَہَا حَتّٰی تَرْجِعَ ))
“The prayer of two men does not go above their heads… and the woman who disobeys her husband until he returns (to obedience).”
Important Rule: There is no obedience in sin
(( لَا طَاعَۃَ لِأَحَدٍ فِیْ مَعْصِیَۃِ اللّٰہِ ،إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَۃُ فِیْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ ))
“There is no obedience to anyone in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in what is good (ma’ruf).”
3) Do not fast voluntary fasts without the husband’s permission
(( لَا یَحِلُّ لِلْمَرْأَۃِ أَنْ تَصُوْمَ وَزَوْجُہَا شَاہِدٌ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِہٖ ))
“It is not permissible for a woman to fast (voluntarily) while her husband is present, except with his permission.”
4) Protection of Husband’s Wealth and Property
(( لَا تُنْفِقِ الْمَرْأَۃُ شَیْئًا مِنْ بَیْتِ زَوْجِہَا إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ زَوْجِہَا… قَالَ : ذَاکَ أَفْضَلُ أَمْوَالِنَا ))
“A woman should not spend anything from her husband’s house (or his wealth) without his permission.” (The narrator said:) “This is the best wealth among our possessions.”
5) Not Allowing Anyone into the House Without Husband’s Permission
(( …وَلَا تَأْذَنَّ فِیْ بَیْتِہٖ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِہٖ ))
“And she should not allow anyone into his house except with his permission.”
(( …فَأَمَّا حَقُّکُمْ عَلٰی نِسَائِکُمْ فَلَا یُوْطِئْنَ فُرُشَکُمْ مَنْ تَکْرَہُوْنَ،وَلَا یَأْذَنَّ فِیْ بُیُوْتِکُمْ لِمَنْ تَکْرَہُوْنَ ))
“And your right over your women is that they do not allow those whom you dislike to come to your beds, and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your houses.”
6) Gratitude towards the Husband
(( لَا یَنْظُرُ اللّٰہُ تَبَارَکَ وَتَعَالٰی إِلَی امْرَأَۃٍ لَا تَشْکُرُ لِزَوْجِہَا ، وَہِیَ لَا تَسْتَغْنِیْ عَنْہُ ))
“Allah, the Blessed and Exalted, does not look with mercy at a woman who is ungrateful to her husband, even though she is in need of him.”
(( لَا یَصْلُحُ لِبَشَرٍ أَنْ یَّسْجُدَ لِبَشَرٍ،وَلَوْ صَلَحَ… لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَۃَ أَنْ تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِہَا لِعِظَمِ حَقِّہٖ عَلَیْہَا ))
“It is not permissible for a person to prostrate to another person, and if it were permissible, I would have commanded a woman to prostrate to her husband due to his great right over her.”
(( اَلْمَرْأَۃُ لَا تُؤَدِّیْ حَقَّ اللّٰہِ حَتّٰی تُؤَدِّیَ حَقَّ زَوْجِہَا… ))
“A woman cannot fulfill the right of Allah until she fulfills the right of her husband.”
(( حَقُّ الزَّوْجِ عَلٰی زَوْجَتِہٖ… ))
“The right of the husband over his wife …”
Rights of the Wife over the Husband
After the rights of the husband over the wife, now the rights that the wife has over the husband are explained, because Shariah has established rights and duties on both sides so that the home remains safe from oppression, injustice, and imbalance.
1) Right of Mahr (Dowry)
The first right of the wife over the husband is that he must pay her the right of Mahr. Allah Almighty says:
﴿ وَآتُوا النِّسَائَ صَدُقَاتِہِنَّ نِحْلَۃً فَإِن طِبْنَ لَکُمْ عَن شَیْْئٍ مِّنْہُ نَفْسًا فَکُلُوہُ ہَنِیْئًا مَّرِیْئًا﴾
Translation: “And give the women their dowries willingly. But if they give up willingly anything of it to you, then take it in satisfaction and ease.”
From this verse, it is clear that paying the dowry is obligatory upon the husband. If the woman willingly forgives some part of it, then it is permissible for the man to accept it gladly, but:
❀ Completely refusing to pay the dowry
❀ Or forcibly making the woman waive the dowry
is a serious crime and oppression against the woman.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
(( أَیُّمَا رَجُلٍ تَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَۃً عَلٰی مَا قَلَّ مِنَ الْمَہْرِ أَوْ کَثُرَ، لَیْسَ فِیْ نَفْسِہٖ أَنْ یُّؤَدِّیَ إِلَیْہَا حَقَّہَا، خَدَعَہَا، فَمَاتَ وَلَمْ یُؤَدِّ إِلَیْہَا حَقَّہَا لَقِیَ اللّٰہَ یَوْمَ الْقِیَامَۃِ وَہُوَ زَانٍ))
Translation: “Whoever marries a woman for less or more than her rightful dowry and does not intend to fulfill her right in his heart, he deceives her. Then if he dies without fulfilling her right, he will meet Allah on the Day of Judgment as a fornicator.”
Another injustice in the right of dowry
Sometimes the husband pays the dowry, but the woman’s father takes possession of it, even though the dowry is exclusively the wife’s right. However, if the woman willingly gives it to her father, then it is permissible.
Some Essential Issues Regarding the Right of Dowry
① The amount of dowry is not fixed by Shariah
The amount of dowry depends on the financial status of the person getting married. Each person should set a dowry that they can easily pay. Setting an exaggerated dowry and then:
❀ Not paying it
❀ Or absorbing part of it
❀ Or forcing the wife to forgive it
All of these are injustices. It is better to set the dowry according to one’s financial capacity from the beginning.
Allah Almighty says:
﴿ لاَ یُکَلِّفُ اللّٰہُ نَفْسًا إِلاَّ وُسْعَہَا﴾
Translation: “Allah does not burden any soul beyond its capacity.”
A person of low status can also marry in exchange for a low-value item. As mentioned in the hadith:
(( اِلْتَمِسْ وَلَوْ خَاتَمًا مِنْ حَدِیْدٍ))
Translation: “Go, if only an iron ring is available, then bring it.”
Then when even the ring was not found, marriage was contracted in exchange for teaching some chapters of the Quran.
Translation: “Go, teach him these chapters, I have married you off in exchange for that.”
Similarly, in the marriage of Hazrat Ali (may Allah be pleased with him), the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) set the dowry in exchange for armor:
Translation (meaning): “Give something… where is your leather armor?… Give that to her.”
This was the right dowry of Hazrat Fatimah (may Allah be pleased with her), indicating that even less dowry is permissible.
② Low dowry is recommended
Although the amount is not fixed, there is encouragement for easy and low dowry.
(( خَیْرُ النِّکَاحِ أَیْسَرُہُ ))
Translation: “The best marriage is the one that is done easily.”
(( خَیْرُ الصَّدَاقِ أَیْسَرُہُ ))
Translation: “The best dowry is that which can be paid easily.”
And the dowry of the Pure Wives, may Allah be pleased with them:
Hazrat Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said that the Prophet ﷺ gave his wives a dowry of twelve and a half ounces of silver (five hundred dirhams).
Translation (Explanation of quantity): “The Prophet ﷺ gave his wives twelve and a half ounces of silver as the right dowry, which is equivalent to five hundred dirhams.”
(The arithmetic details in the text remain as follows:)
According to some scholars, five hundred dirhams weigh 1487.5 grams of silver… twelve dirhams of silver equal one dinar of gold… twelve and a half dinars… one dinar is approximately 4.25 grams… thus the weight is 176.375 grams… and Allah knows best.
And Hazrat Abdur Rahman bin Awf, may Allah be pleased with him, contracted marriage with gold equal to the weight of a date stone; the Prophet ﷺ congratulated him and ordered a Walimah (wedding feast).
Imam Ibn Taymiyyah, may Allah have mercy on him, says:
“Whoever desires that his daughter’s dowry be more than the dowry of the daughters and wives of the Prophet ﷺ, while they were the best women in the world, then that person is ignorant and foolish.”
③ It is not desirable to exaggerate the dowry.
A man married an Ansari woman and set the dower at four ounces of silver, upon which the Prophet ﷺ expressed surprise:
Translation (meaning): “Four ounces! It is as if you are mining silver from the foot of this mountain!”
Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه also said that the dower should not be increased excessively… If it were a matter of honor or piety, then the Prophet ﷺ would have been more deserving of it, yet he ﷺ did not set the dower above twelve ounces.
Translation (meaning): “Do not exaggerate the dower of women…”
2) Food, Maintenance, and Residence
The second right of the wife upon the husband is that he provides her with food, maintenance, residence, clothing, and lawful necessities according to his ability and customary standards.
In the Farewell Pilgrimage sermon, it was stated:
(( وَلَہُنَّ عَلَیْکُمْ رِزْقُہُنَّ وَکِسْوَتُہُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ))
Translation: “And the women have a right over you that you provide them with food and clothing according to what is customary.”
And the narration of Hazrat Muawiyah Al-Qushairi, may Allah be pleased with him:
(( أَنْ تُطْعِمَہَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ،وَتَکْسُوَہَا إِذَا اکْتَسَیْتَ،وَلَا تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْہَ وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ،وَلَا تَہْجُرْ إِلَّا فِیْ الْبَیْتِ ))
Translation: “When you eat, feed him as well; when you wear clothes, clothe him as well; do not strike the face, do not curse, and if you want to leave, then leave at home.”
Reward for Spending on Family
If the husband has a sincere intention, then spending on family members also becomes charity:
(( …حَتّٰی مَا تَجْعَلُ فِیْ فِی امْرَأَتِکَ ))
Translation: “Even the morsel you put into your wife’s mouth is rewarded.”
(( إِذَا أَنْفَقَ الرَّجُلُ عَلٰی أَہْلِہٖ… کَانَتْ لَہُ صَدَقَۃً ))
Translation: “When a man spends on his family and intends to earn reward, it is charity for him.”
(( …أَعْظَمُہَا أَجْرًا الَّذِیْ أَنْفَقْتَہُ عَلٰی أَہْلِکَ))
Translation: “The most rewarding dinar is that which you spend on your family.”
Warning: Moderation in Spending
Stinginess is blameworthy and extravagance is also forbidden. Allah Almighty says:
﴿ وَالَّذِیْنَ إِذَا أَنفَقُوا لَمْ یُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ یَقْتُرُوا وَکَانَ بَیْْنَ ذَلِکَ قَوَامًا﴾
Translation: “And when they spend, they do not waste extravagantly nor are they stingy, but hold a medium way between those.”
3) Living in a Good Manner
One right of the wife over the husband is that he lives with her in a good manner:
﴿وَعَاشِرُوہُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن کَرِہْتُمُوہُنَّ فَعَسَی أَن تَکْرَہُوْا شَیْْئًا وَّیَجْعَلَ اللّٰہُ فِیْہِ خَیْْرًا کَثِیْرًا﴾
Translation: “And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.”
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ treated his wives with kindness, affection, conversation, and humor; after Isha prayer, he would inquire about everyone’s condition, eat with them, and fulfill everyone’s rights accordingly—meaning he was the best example.
Some hadiths regarding this:
(( أَکْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ… وَخِیَارُکُمْ خِیَارُکُمْ لِنِسَائِہِمْ ))
Translation: “The most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is the best, and the best among you are those who are best to their wives.”
(( لَا یَفْرَکْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَۃً… ))
Translation: “No believer hates his believing wife; if he dislikes one of her habits, he will like another.”
(( اِسْتَوْصُوْا بِالنِّسَائِ… ))
Translation: “Accept my advice regarding women… Woman was created from a rib… if you try to straighten her, you will break her… so treat women well.”
And in the Farewell Pilgrimage:
(( فَاتَّقُوا اللّٰہَ فِی النِّسَائِ… ))
Translation: “Fear Allah concerning women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allah and made them lawful with the word of Allah.”
The Shariah Method for Reforming a Disobedient Wife
Allah Almighty says:
﴿وَاللَّاتِیْ تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَہُنَّ فَعِظُوہُنَّ وَاہْجُرُوہُنَّ فِی الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوہُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَکُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُواْ عَلَیْْہِنَّ سَبِیْلًا﴾
Translation: “And those women from whom you fear disobedience, advise them, then forsake them in bed, then strike them. Then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them.”
There are three sequential steps here: advice, separation in bed, and then finally striking. It is not correct to make striking the first method. And the striking should not be such that it causes injury or breaks bones. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( لَا یَجْلِدْ أَحَدُکُمُ امْرَأَتَہُ جَلْدَ الْعَبْدِ… ))
Translation: “None of you should strike his wife like a slave and then have intercourse with her at the end of the day.”
And he said:
(( …وَاضْرِبُوْہُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَیْرَ مُبَرِّحٍ ))
Translation: “And if you must strike, then strike in a way that is not painful (does not cause injury).”
The Right of Khula
One right of the wife over the husband is that if, due to any Islamic excuse, the wife does not want to live with the husband, she can obtain khula by returning the dower (full or part). Examples of Islamic excuses:
❀ The husband is unable to fulfill the marital rights
❀ The husband harasses the wife without any excuse
❀ Attempts at reconciliation fail after discord
❀ The husband neither keeps her with him nor gives divorce
Allah Almighty says:
﴿فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ یُقِیْمَا حُدُودَ اللّٰہِ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَیْْہِمَا فِیْمَا افْتَدَتْ بِہِ﴾
Translation: “And if you fear that they will not keep within the limits of Allah, then there is no blame upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself.”
In the incident of Hazrat Thabit bin Qais (may Allah be pleased with him), Hazrat Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that his wife came to the Prophet ﷺ, and the Prophet ﷺ asked: Will you return his garden? She said: Yes. The Prophet ﷺ said to Thabit (may Allah be pleased with him): Take the garden and divorce her.
Translation (meaning): “Take back your garden and divorce her.”
Demanding Divorce Without a Valid Reason is a Grave Sin
A woman has the right to seek khula (divorce) but only with a legitimate Islamic reason. Otherwise, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:
(( أَیُّمَا امْرَأَۃٍ سَأَلَتْ زَوْجَہَا الطَّلَاقَ،مِنْ غَیْرِ مَا بَأْسٍ،فَحَرَامٌ عَلَیْہَا رَائِحَۃُ الْجَنَّۃِ ))
Translation: “A woman who demands divorce from her husband without any reasonable excuse, even the fragrance of Paradise becomes forbidden for her.”
Conclusion
Islam has established a balanced distribution of rights between husband and wife that makes the home a center of peace, love, and justice. If spouses adhere to these rulings, it reduces domestic conflicts, increases trust, and brings blessings to married life. May Allah grant us the ability to follow the teachings of the true religion. Ameen
