Mutual Relations of the Spouses
The Holy Quran has described the purposes of marriage in a very dignified manner. These are the pillars upon which the structure of marital life is built. Instead of sexual frustration, love, affection, and peace of mind between spouses, the bonds of love and harmony between the families of the wife and husband, the full manifestation of human sympathy and compassionate feelings, and the emotional attachment of parents to their children are the objectives sought through the bond of marriage. The following verse from Surah Ar-Rum points to these objectives:
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَا وَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً ۚ إِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَ
“And among His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.”
Besides these objectives, the Quran has not ignored the sensory aspect and the physical relationship between spouses; rather, it has guided towards a straightforward path by following which a person can fulfill their natural desire while avoiding impure and wrong ways. It is narrated that the Jews and Magians were extreme in avoiding contact with women during menstruation, while the Christians would have intercourse with women without regard to menstruation. As for the people of ignorance, they neither ate nor drank with a menstruating woman, nor did they sit or stand with her; rather, they would expel her from the house. Their behavior was exactly like that of the Jews and Magians.
In view of this situation, some Muslims asked the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) what attitude should be adopted towards a menstruating woman? What is permissible and what is forbidden in this matter? In response, this noble verse was revealed:
وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْمَحِيضِ ۖ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًى فَاعْتَزِلُوا النِّسَاءَ فِي الْمَحِيضِ ۖ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَطْهُرْنَ ۖ فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللَّهُ ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ
“They ask you about menstruation. Say, ‘It is harm, so keep away from wives during menstruation. And do not approach them until they are pure. And when they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has ordained for you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.'”
Some Bedouins misunderstood the command to keep away from women during menstruation to mean that living with them was not permissible, but the Prophet (peace be upon him) clarified the meaning of the verse by saying:
“I had commanded you to refrain from intercourse with women during menstruation. I did not command you to expel them from the house like the non-Arabs. When the Jews heard this, they said: This man has determined to oppose us in every matter.”
A Muslim may benefit from his wife during menstruation provided he stays away from the place of menstruation. Thus, Islam, as is its consistent principle, has adopted a moderate position between two extremes. That is, neither such distance from the menstruating woman that she is expelled from the house, nor such mixing that intercourse is considered permissible.
Modern medical science has revealed that the blood discharged during menstruation contains a type of toxic substance which, if retained inside the body, is harmful to health. Similarly, the secret behind abstaining from intercourse during menstruation has also been uncovered. During menstruation, the woman’s genital organs are contracted due to the accumulation of blood, and the nerves of the internal glands are in a state of agitation due to secretions. In such a condition, sexual contact is harmful to her and sometimes causes obstruction of menstruation, leading to nervous discomfort. Additionally, inflammation may sometimes develop in the genital organs.
