Question: A close relative of mine brought a proposal for engagement. I had previously heard that for the future of children, it is better to marry outside the family. What is your opinion on this?
Answer: Some scholars have pointed to this rule, and as you mentioned: these people have drawn attention to the fact that inheritance certainly has an effect, and inheritance is an influential factor in human creation and morals. In Sahih Bukhari, in the Book of Divorce, it is narrated that a man came to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah! My wife has given birth to a black child. (He wanted to indicate that his parents are fair-skinned, so how did the child become black? Perhaps his mother had some illicit act involved?) The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked:
هل لك من ابل ؟
“Do you have camels?”
He replied: “Yes.”
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
فما ألوانها ؟ “What color are they?”
He said: “Red.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked:
هل فيها من اورق ؟ “Are any of them gray?”
He said: “Yes.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked:
فأني لها ذلك ؟ “Where did they get this color from?”
He replied, “Perhaps one of them pulled a vein.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
ابنك هذا لعله تزعه عرق “Perhaps your son also pulled a vein.”
From the above blessed hadith, it is understood that the effect of family inheritance certainly exists, and this is not just about appearance. But the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
تنكخ المرأة لأربع : لمالها، و حسبها و جمالها و دينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك
“A woman is married for four things: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So marry the religious woman, may your hands be rubbed with dust (may you prosper).”
Therefore, when proposing marriage to a woman, religion should be given primary importance. The more religious and beautiful she is, the better, whether she is from close relatives or distant people. This is because a religious wife will protect his home, his children, and his wealth, and a beautiful wife will fulfill his sexual needs, lower his gaze, and he will not be attracted to any other woman in her presence. And Allah knows best.
