Question:
What are the limits of the playful enjoyment and intimacy between a man and his wife?
Answer:
Allah, the Mighty and Majestic, says:
«وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ ﴿٥﴾ إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ»
“And those who guard their private parts, except from their wives or those whom their right hands possess, for indeed they are not blameworthy.”
Indeed, Allah has made clear in this verse that a man will not be blamed for not guarding his private parts with respect to his wife. The Prophet ﷺ also described the enjoyment of a husband with his wife during menstruation in this way:
«اصنعوا كل شيء إلا النكا ح»
“Do everything (to enjoy your wives during menstruation) except intercourse.”
Therefore, each of the spouses is permitted to enjoy the other in whatever manner they wish, except during menstruation.
It is not lawful for a man to have intercourse with his wife while she is in menstruation, because Allah, the Exalted, says:
«وَيَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْمَحِيضِ قُلْ هُوَ أَذًى فَاعْتَزِلُوا النِّسَاءَ فِي الْمَحِيضِ وَلَا تَقْرَبُوهُنَّ حَتَّىٰ يَطْهُرْنَ فَإِذَا تَطَهَّرْنَ فَأْتُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ أَمَرَكُمُ اللَّهُ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِينَ وَيُحِبُّ الْمُتَطَهِّرِينَ»
“They ask you about menstruation. Say: it is a harm, so keep away from women during menstruation and do not approach them until they are purified. When they have purified themselves, then come to them from where Allah has commanded you. Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.”
However, despite this, during menstruation a man may enjoy his wife in any way other than intercourse in the private part, as mentioned in the earlier hadith. Also, it is not lawful for a man to have intercourse with his wife during the state of postpartum bleeding (nifas), nor is anal intercourse permissible. Because Allah, the Exalted, says:
«نِسَاؤُكُمْ حَرْثٌ لَكُمْ فَأْتُوا حَرْثَكُمْ أَنَّىٰ شِئْتُمْ»
“Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth as you wish.”
And the place of tilth is only and exclusively the vagina, the front private part of the woman.
