وعن ابي هريرة رضى الله عنه ان رسول الله صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم قال: اتدرون ما الغيبة؟ قالوا: الله ورسوله اعلم قال: ذكرك اخاك بما يكره قيل: افرايت إن كان فى اخي ما اقول؟ قال: إن كان فيه ما تقول فقد اغتبته وإن لم يكن فيه فقد بهته
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said: “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He ﷺ said: “Your mentioning your brother with that which he dislikes.” It was said: “What if what I say is actually in my brother?” He ﷺ said: “If what you say is in him, then you have backbitten him, and if it is not in him, then you have slandered him.” (Narrated by Muslim)
Takhrij:
See Tuhfat al-Ashraf
➊ Backbiting is eating the flesh of a dead brother:
Allah the Exalted said in the Holy Quran:
وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ
“Let none of you backbite another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Surely you would detest it.”
The meaning is that just as a dead body’s flesh is eaten while it cannot defend itself, likewise the person being backbitten cannot defend his honour because he is not present.
In the Quran, Allah the Exalted has forbidden eating carrion, and if that dead one is human flesh, and moreover a brother, then how great must its prohibition be?
➋ Why did the Prophet ﷺ ask the Companions instead of explaining the meaning of backbiting himself?
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was an extremely wise and sagacious teacher, so when teaching he would in some way draw the attention of the Companions and create in them a desire for knowledge, so that the matter would settle well in their minds and, if there was any confusion in their minds, it would also be cleared up.
The Prophet ﷺ said to Abu Sa’id ibn Mu’alla (may Allah be pleased with him) that he would tell him the greatest surah of the Quran before he left the mosque. When the Prophet ﷺ began to leave, the companion took hold of his hand and reminded him of the promise, and the Prophet ﷺ said: “It is Surah al-Fatihah.”
He said to Mu’adh (may Allah be pleased with him): “Indeed, O Mu’adh! I love you.” After expressing this affection, he said not to leave this supplication in any prayer:
رب اعني على ذكرك وشكرك وحسن عبادتك
If one reflects, the thousands of pages written by modern experts on teaching methods are merely a small explanation of this one point which the Messenger of Allah ﷺ always kept in mind.
➌ What is backbiting?
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ gave such a clear and comprehensive definition of backbiting that he left no ambiguity in it. ذكرك اخاك بما يكره “Your mentioning your brother with that (thing, when it is mentioned) which he dislikes.”
Imam al-Nawawi, in al-Adhkar, gave some detail of this, the summary of which is:
“Whether that thing relates to his body or to his religion or to his worldly affairs, whether it concerns his form and appearance or his character, whether it concerns his wealth, children, parents, wife and children, or his clothing, gait, speech, cheerfulness or sourness of face; in short, mentioning anything connected to him that he dislikes is backbiting. Then, whether this mention is made by tongue or by writing, by gesture or by insinuation, in all forms it is backbiting. A gesture, whether with the eye or with the hand, with the head or with any part of the body, is also included in backbiting.”
Backbiting of the body, for example:
To belittle him, one uses the words blind, lame, one-eyed, bald, short, lanky, black, hunchbacked, or any other word of this kind. Backbiting regarding religion is: to call him a wrongdoer, thief, traitor, oppressor, lax in prayer, impure, disobedient to his parents, a scoundrel, etc. Regarding worldly matters, for example: to call him useless, talkative, a glutton, etc. Regarding character, for example: to declare him ill-natured, arrogant, a hypocrite, hasty, cowardly, sullen. Regarding his father, for example: to belittle him by calling him a weaver, a cobbler, a black Abyssinian, etc. Then, one form of backbiting by tongue, hand or body is imitating him: for example, imitating his stammering or speaking through the nose, his limping gait, his hunchback or his short stature. In short, the rule is that any action whose purpose is to belittle a Muslim brother is backbiting and is forbidden.
➋ Is backbiting permissible in any circumstance?:
Sometimes backbiting a Muslim brother becomes permissible, and his fault may be mentioned in his absence.
The principle is that when an essential religious purpose cannot be achieved without it, then it is permissible. Nawawi, and before him Ghazali, have enumerated six occasions on which backbiting is permissible:
① Complaint against oppression:
The oppressed has the right to speak against the oppressor. Allah Almighty said:
لَّا يُحِبُّ اللَّـهُ الْجَهْرَ بِالسُّوءِ مِنَ الْقَوْلِ إِلَّا مَن ظُلِمَ
“Allah does not like the utterance of evil speech in public, except by one who has been wronged.”
And the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ان لصاحب الحق مقالا “The one with a right has the license to speak.”
It is better that he mention his oppression to a king, a judge, or someone who is able to help him.
② Informing those who can stop a sin or evil act, either by joining him or by themselves stopping it. If the only purpose is to humiliate the doer, then it is not permissible. The verses and hadiths on enjoining good and forbidding evil are evidence for this.
③ If one mentions a person’s flaw before a mufti in order to seek a fatwa, it is permissible. For example, Hind bint Utbah, may Allah be pleased with her, asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about her husband Abu Sufyan, may Allah be pleased with him, saying that Abu Sufyan is a stingy man who does not give her enough expenses that would be sufficient for her and her children. Is it permissible for her to take from his wealth without his knowledge? The Prophet ﷺ said: “Take from him in a reasonable manner what is sufficient for you and your children.”
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ did not forbid Hind, may Allah be pleased with her, from mentioning her husband’s fault, because her purpose was to ask a question.
④ If one informs about a person’s evil in order to advise the Muslims and to protect them from harm, it is permissible. Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said that a man came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, and the Prophet ﷺ said: ايذنوا له بئس اخو العشيرة
“Permit him to enter; he is a very bad man of his clan.” (The hadith is long.)
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ considered it necessary to inform Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, about this man’s evil. Many things fall under advising the Muslims and protecting them from harm:
(a) Criticism (jarh) of hadith narrators and of witnesses in a case is permissible, rather obligatory, and the Ummah is unanimous on this.
(b) When someone seeks advice about marrying someone, depositing trust, entering a partnership, choosing a neighbour, doing business, or any other dealing, one should tell him the correct and sincere matter.
Fatimah bint Qays, may Allah be pleased with her, asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about marriage to Mu’awiyah, may Allah be pleased with him, and Abu Jahm, may Allah be pleased with him. The Prophet ﷺ said that Mu’awiyah is destitute and has nothing, and Abu Jahm beats women a lot; “marry Usamah.”
And this is the right of a believer: واذا ستنصحك فانصح له “When he asks you for advice, give him sincere advice.”
⑤ Whoever openly disobeys Allah, plunders people, or drinks alcohol openly, then mentioning those sins which he does not feel the need to conceal, and which do not bother him when mentioned, is permissible, because backbiting is the mention of what he would dislike.
⑥ If a person is known by a title, and he cannot be identified without it, and he does not consider it offensive, then it is permissible to mention him by that title, even if it describes a flaw of his. For example: أَعْمَشْ (one whose eyes are squinting), أَعْرَجْ (lame), أَصَمْ (deaf), أَعْميٰ (blind), etc. The condition is that the purpose is not to belittle him.
➎ Is backbiting a non-Muslim permissible?
Allah Almighty said in the Holy Quran:
وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا
Muslims should not backbite one another.
Similarly, it is evident from ذكرك اخاك بمايكره that only backbiting a Muslim is forbidden, because a disbeliever is not our religious brother.
