The Shariah Ruling on Speaking with a Non-Mahram Woman Before Marriage
Prohibition of Unnecessary Speech with a Non-Mahram
Islam has not permitted men or women to engage in friendly or informal conversation with a non-mahram, or to converse in a way that may lead to temptation. Speaking is permissible only to the extent of necessity and in accordance with the principles laid down by the Shariah.
Guidance from the Quran
Speaking from behind a barrier or veil:
وَإِذَا سَأَلْتُمُوهُنَّ مَتَاعًا فَسْأَلُوهُنَّ مِنْ وَرَاءِ حِجَابٍ ذَلِكُمْ أَطْهَرُ لِقُلُوبِكُمْ وَقُلُوبِهِنَّ
“And when you ask them for anything, ask them from behind a screen. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts.”
The command to avoid speaking in a soft tone:
يَانِسَاءَ النَّبِيِّ لَسْتُنَّ كَأَحَدٍ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ إِنِ اتَّقَيْتُنَّ فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِالْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ الَّذِي فِي قَلْبِهِ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَعْرُوفًا
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you fear Allah, then do not speak in a soft manner, lest one in whose heart is a disease should feel desire; but speak in a good manner.”
The natural attraction in a woman’s voice
Allah has placed in the personality of a woman an attraction that draws men towards her. For this reason:
◈ The command to observe hijab and to lower the gaze has been given.
◈ Softness, gentleness and attractiveness are naturally present in a woman’s voice.
Therefore, women have been instructed that when speaking with a non-mahram man, they should adopt a tone that is free of softness and attractiveness, and instead one of firmness and seriousness.
This command is not restricted only to the wives of the Prophet; it is general for all Muslim women, because the wives of the Prophet ﷺ are a model (example) for all the women of the Ummah.
The Prohibition of Seclusion (Privacy) with a Non-Mahram
Guidance from authentic hadiths:
It is narrated from Sayyiduna Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
((لاَ يَخْلُوَنَّ رَجُلٌ بِامْرَأَةٍ إِلَّا مَعَ ذِي مَحْرَمٍ))
“No man should be alone with a woman who is not his relative unless a close relative (mahram) is present.”
Shariah Principles for Speaking
In light of the Quranic verses and the blessed hadith, speaking with a non-mahram is permissible under the following principles and rules:
➊ Speech should be only out of necessity.
➋ The rules of hijab must be fully observed.
➌ Seclusion (privacy) should be avoided.
➍ There should be no attractiveness or softness in tone, manner or words.
➎ There should be no conversation that becomes a cause of temptation.
Prohibition of Purposeless Conversation and Idle Chatter
Purposeless talk, joking or idle chatter between a non-mahram man and woman is haram.
Conversation that gives rise to fear of temptation is strictly forbidden in Islam.
والله أعلم بالصواب
