إن الحمد لله نحمده، ونستعينه، من يهده الله فلا مضل له، ومن يضلل فلا هادي له ، وأشهد أن لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له، وأن محمدا عبده ورسوله . أما بعد:
Good Treatment of Parents
قال الله تعالى: ﴿وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلَاثُونَ شَهْرًا ۚ حَتَّىٰ إِذَا بَلَغَ أَشُدَّهُ وَبَلَغَ أَرْبَعِينَ سَنَةً قَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَىٰ وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحًا تَرْضَاهُ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي فِي ذُرِّيَّتِي ۖ إِنِّي تُبْتُ إِلَيْكَ وَإِنِّي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِينَ﴾
Allah Almighty said: “And We have enjoined upon man goodness to his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship. And his gestation and weaning period is thirty months. Until when he reaches his full strength and reaches forty years, he says: O my Lord! Enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to do righteousness pleasing to You. And make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims.”
Hadith: 1
«حدثنا سعيد بن أبى مريم قال أخبرنا محمد بن جعفر بن أبى كثير قال أخبرني زيد بن أسلم عن عطاء بن يسار عن ابن عباس أنه أتاه رجل فقال إني خطبت امرأة فأبت أن تنكحني وخطبها غيري فأحبت أن تنكحه فغرت عليها فقتلتها فهل لي من توبة قال أمك حية قال لا قال تب إلى الله عز وجل وتقرب إليه ما استطعت فذهبت فسألت ابن عباس لم سألته عن حياة أمه فقال إني لا أعلم عملا أقرب إلى الله عز وجل من بر الوالدة»
Hazrat Ata bin Yasar (may Allah have mercy on him) narrates from Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) that a man came to him and said, “I sent a marriage proposal to a woman, but she refused to marry me. Then someone else sent a proposal, and she agreed. I felt jealous and killed her. Is there any way for me to repent?” Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) asked, “Is your mother alive?” He said, “No.” Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) said, “Repent to Allah and seek closeness to Allah as much as possible through righteous deeds and the like.” (The narrator of the hadith, Hazrat Ata (may Allah have mercy on him), says) I went to Hazrat Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) and asked, “Why did you ask him if his mother was alive?” He replied, “To my knowledge, there is no deed better than good treatment of one’s mother to attain closeness to Allah.”
One must also treat the father with kindness
Hadith: 2
«وعن أسماء بنت أبى بكر قالت أتتني أمي راغبة فى عهد النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فسألت النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أصلها قال نعم وفي رواية قدمت أمي وهى مشركة»
“It is narrated from Sayyida Asma bint Abi Bakr (may Allah be pleased with her) that she said: My mother came to me and she was a disbeliever. So I asked the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم: Should I treat her kindly? He صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Yes, maintain kinship ties and treat her well.”
The one most deserving of kindness
Hadith: 3
«وعن أبى هريرة رضي الله عنه قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله من أحق الناس بحسن صحبتي قال أمك قال ثم من قال أمك قال ثم من قال أمك قال ثم من قال ثم أبوك»
Narrated by Sayyiduna Abu Huraira رضي الله عنه that a person came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and asked: O Messenger of Allah! Who is most deserving of my good treatment? He صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Your mother. He asked: Then who? He صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Your mother. He asked: Then who? He صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Your mother. He asked: Then who? He صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Then your father.
The Most Beloved Deed
قال الله تعالى: ﴿وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا﴾
Allah Almighty said: “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say ‘uff’ to them, nor repel them, but speak to them a noble word.”
Hadith: 4
«وعن عبد الله قال سألت النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أى العمل أحب إلى الله قال الصلاة على وقتها قال ثم أى قال بر الوالدين قال ثم أى قال الجهاد فى سبيل الله»
“It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Mas’ud رضي الله عنه that he said: I asked the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم which deed Allah Almighty likes the most? He صلى الله عليه وسلم said: To pray on time. Then I asked: Then which one? He صلى الله عليه وسلم said: To treat parents well. Then I asked: Then which one? He صلى الله عليه وسلم said: To strive in the way of Allah.”
The Pleasure of Allah is in the Pleasure of the Parents
قال الله تعالى: ﴿وَرِضْوَانٌ مِّنَ اللَّهِ أَكْبَرُ﴾
Allah Almighty said: “And the pleasure of Allah is the greatest.”
Hadith: 5
«وعن عبد الله بن عمر عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال رضى الرب فى رضي الوالد وسخط الرب فى سخط الوالد»
It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Umar رضي الله عنهما that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the parents, and the displeasure of the Lord is in the displeasure of the parents.”
Hadith: 6
«وعن عبد الرحمن بن عوف قال سمعت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول قال الله تعالى أنا الرحمن وهى الرحم شققت لها اسما من اسمي من وصلها وصلته ومن قطعها بتته»
“Sayyiduna Abdur Rahman bin Awf رضي الله عنه says that I heard the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم say: Allah Almighty says: I am Merciful and this is kinship. I have derived its name from My name. Whoever maintains it, I will maintain him, and whoever severs it, I will sever him.”
Paradise is under the feet of parents
Hadith: 7
«وعن معاوية بن جاهمة أن جاهمة جاء إلى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله أردت أن أغزو وقد جئت أستشيرك فقال هل لك من أم قال نعم قال فالزمها فإن الجنة عند رجليها»
Muhaddith Albani has graded it Hasan Sahih)
“Sayyiduna Muawiyah bin Jahimah رضي الله عنه narrates that his father Jahimah رضي الله عنه came to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and asked, O Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم! I intend to go for Jihad and have come to seek your advice. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم asked: Is your mother alive? He said: Yes. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Then hold her firmly (i.e., serve her), indeed Paradise is at her feet.”
Parents praying for their children
قال الله تعالى: ﴿رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِي ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ ۔ رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيَّ وَلِلْمُؤْمِنِينَ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ الْحِسَابُ۔﴾
Allah Almighty said: “My Lord! Make me one who establishes prayer, and [also] from my descendants. Our Lord! Accept my supplication. Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and the believers on the Day the account is established.”
Hadith: 8
«وعن أبى هريرة رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ثلاث دعوات مستجابات لا شك فيهن دعوة المظلوم ودعوة المسافر ودعوة الوالد على ولده»
Muhaddith al-Albani has graded it as Hasan)
“It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Three supplications are certainly answered, there is no doubt about their acceptance: 1. The supplication of the oppressed, 2. The supplication of the traveler, and 3. The supplication of parents for their children.”
Obedience to Parents is a Remedy for Worldly Difficulties
Hadith: 9
«وعن ابن عمر عن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال بينما ثلاثة نفر يتماشون أخذهم المطر فمالوا إلى غار فى الجبل فانحطت على فم غارهم صخرة من الجبل فأطبقت عليهم فقال بعضهم لبعض انظروا أعمالا عملتموها لله صالحة فادعوا الله بها لعله يفرجها فقال أحدهم اللهم إنه كان لي والدان شيخان كبيران ولي صبية صغار كنت أرعى عليهم فإذا رحت عليهم فحلبت بدأت بوالدي أسقيهما قبل ولدي وإنه ناء بي الشجر فما أتيت حتى أمسيت فوجدتهما قد ناما فحلبت كما كنت أحلب فجئت بالحلاب فقمت عند رؤوسهما أكره أن أوقظهما من نومهما وأكره أن أبدأ بالصبية قبلهما والصبية يتضاغون عند قدمي فلم يزل ذلك دأبي ودأبهم حتى طلع الفجر فإن كنت تعلم أني فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج لنا فرجة نرى منها السماء ففرج الله لهم فرجة حتى يرون منها السماء وقال الثاني اللهم إنه كانت لي ابنة عم أحبها كأشد ما يحب الرجال النساء فطلبت إليها نفسها فأبت حتى آتيها بمائة دينار فسعيت حتى جمعت مائة دينار فلقيتها بها فلما قعدت بين رجليها قالت يا عبد الله اتق الله ولا تفتح الخاتم إلا بحقه فقمت عنها اللهم فإن كنت تعلم أني قد فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج لنا منها ففرج لهم فرجة وقال الآخر اللهم إني كنت استأجرت أجيرا بفرق أرز فلما قضى عمله قال أعطني حقي فعرضت عليه حقه فتركه ورغب عنه فلم أزل أزرعه حتى جمعت منه بقرا وراعيها فجاءني فقال اتق الله ولا تظلمني وأعطني حقي فقلت اذهب إلى ذلك البقر وراعيها فقال اتق الله ولا تهزأ بي فقلت إني لا أهزأ بك فخذ ذلك البقر وراعيها فأخذه فانطلق بها فإن كنت تعلم أني فعلت ذلك ابتغاء وجهك فافرج ما بقي ففرج الله عنهم»
Hazrat Ibn Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) narrates from the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) that he said: While three men were traveling, it started to rain. They took refuge in a cave in the mountain. Suddenly, a rock fell from the mountain and blocked the entrance of their cave. So they said to each other: Review your deeds which you performed sincerely for the sake of Allah’s pleasure, then pray to Allah through them, perhaps He will relieve this distress. One of them said: O Allah! I had elderly parents and small children. I was responsible for their sustenance. When I returned in the evening with the livestock, I would milk the animals and serve my parents before my children. Once, I went far into the forest and reached home late in the evening; I found both of them asleep. As usual, I milked the animals, then I took the container of milk and stood beside their heads. I did not consider it appropriate to wake them, nor to feed the children before them, while my children cried hungry at my feet. This situation continued until morning. O Allah, if You know that I did this for Your pleasure, then open a way for us so that we may see the sky. Allah opened a way for them until they could see the sky. The second said: O Allah! I had a paternal cousin sister whom I loved as much as most men love women. I intended to do wrong with her, but she refused unless I gave her one hundred dinars. I strove until I collected one hundred dinars and went to her with them. When I sat between her legs to do wrong, she said: Servant of Allah! Fear Allah and do not break the seal except by its right. Hearing this, I stood up. O Allah! If You know that I did this for Your pleasure, then open a way for us! Allah opened some way for them. The third person said: O Allah! I had hired a laborer for the wage of one faraq (16 ratl) of rice. When he finished his work, he said: Pay me my due. I offered him his due, but he considered it insufficient and left. I continued farming with it (his wage) until I gathered cows and herdsmen. He came to me and said: Fear Allah and do not oppress me, pay me my due. I said: Take these cows and their herdsmen. He said: Fear Allah! Do not mock me. I said: I am not mocking you; take these cows and their herdsmen. He took them and left. If You know that I did this for Your pleasure, then open the remaining way. So Allah opened the way for them (and relieved their distress).
Obedience to Parents is an Atonement for Sins
Hadith: 10
«وعن ابن عمر أن رجلا أتى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال يا رسول الله إني أصبت ذنبا عظيما فهل لي توبة قال هل لك من أم قال لا قال هل لك من خالة قال نعم قال فبرها»
Al-Muhaddith Al-Albani has declared it authentic)
“It is narrated from Sayyiduna Ibn Umar رضي الله عنهما that a man came to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and said: O Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم! I have committed a major sin, can my repentance be accepted? He صلى الله عليه وسلم asked: Do you have a mother? In one narration: Do you have parents? He said: No. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم asked: Do you have a maternal aunt? He said: Yes. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Be good to her.”
Fight Jihad with the Permission of Parents
Hadith: 11
«وعن عبد الله بن عمرو قال جاء رجل إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فاستأذنه فى الجهاد فقال أحي والداك قال نعم قال ففيهما فجاهد»
“It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Amr رضي الله عنهما that a man came to the presence of the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and asked for permission to go for Jihad. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم asked: Are your parents alive? He said: Yes. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: Then strive in serving them. (i.e., serve them) In one narration, the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said to him: Go to your parents and serve them well.”
Obeying Parents to the Extent Possible
قال الله تعالى: ﴿وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا﴾
Allah Almighty said: “And if they both strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness.”
Hadith: 12
«وعن أبيه سعد بن أبى وقاص قال نزلت فى أربع آيات من كتاب الله تعالى كانت أمي حلفت أن لا تأكل ولا تشرب حتى أفارق محمدا صلى الله عليه وسلم فأنزل الله عز وجل ﴿وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا﴾ (والثانية) إني كنت أخذت سيفا أعجبني فقلت يا رسول الله هب لي هذا فنزلت ﴿يَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْأَنفَالِ﴾ (والثالثة) إني مرضت فأتاني رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقلت يا رسول الله إني أريد أن أقسم مالي أفأوصي بالنصف فقال لا فقلت الثلث فسكت فكان الثلث بعده جائزا (الرابعة) إني شربت الخمر مع قوم من الأنصار فضرب رجل منهم أنفي بلحي جمل فأتيت النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فأنزل الله عز وجل تحريم الخمر»
Narrated from Sayyiduna Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas, may Allah be pleased with him, that he said: Four verses of the Qur’an were revealed concerning me: (1) My mother (who had not accepted Islam) swore that she would neither eat nor drink until I (Sa’d) left Muhammad, peace be upon him. Then Allah revealed this verse: ﴿وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا﴾
If they both strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but treat them kindly in this world. (2) I liked a sword (from the spoils of war) and took it, then I asked the Prophet, peace be upon him: O Messenger of Allah, grant me this. Then this verse was revealed: ﴿يَسْأَلُونَكَ عَنِ الْأَنفَالِ﴾
They ask you about the spoils of war. (3) I fell ill, and the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, came to visit me. I said: O Messenger of Allah, I want to distribute my wealth; should I bequeath half? He said no. I said a third? He remained silent, and after that, bequeathing a third became permissible. (4) I drank wine with a group of the Ansar, and one of them struck my nose with a camel’s jawbone. I came to the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, and Allah revealed the prohibition of wine.
Hadith: 13
«وعن عبد الله بن عمر قال كانت تحتي امرأة وكنت أحبها وكان عمر يكرهها فقال لي طلقها فأبيت فأتى عمر النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فذكر ذلك له فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم طلقها»
“Narrated from Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Umar رضي الله عنهما that there was a woman in my marriage whom I loved, but Umar رضي الله عنه (my father) disliked her. He told me: Divorce her. I refused. Umar رضي الله عنه went to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم and presented the matter to him. Then he صلى الله عليه وسلم said to me: Divorce that woman.”
How can the rights of parents be fulfilled?
Hadith: 14
«وعن أبى هريرة قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم لا يجزي ولد والدا إلا أن يجده مملوكا فيشتريه فيعتقه»
“Sayyiduna Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه reports that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: No son can fully repay his father’s rights unless he finds his father as a slave and buys him and frees him.”
Good treatment of parents’ friends
Hadith: 15
«وعن ابن عمر قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إن أبر البر صلة المرء أهل ود أبيه بعد أن يولى»
It is narrated from Sayyiduna Ibn Umar رضي الله عنهما that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “Among the good deeds, the greatest is a person treating the friends of his father well after his father’s death.”
Disobedience to Parents and Hellfire
Hadith: 16
«وعن عبد الله بن عمرو عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا يدخل الجنة منان ولا عاق ولا مدمن خمر»
It is narrated from Sayyiduna Abdullah bin Amr رضي الله عنهما that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: “One who reminds others of his favours, one who disobeys his parents, and constantly drinks alcohol will not enter Paradise.”
Parents are not to be obeyed against the Shariah
قال الله تعالى: ﴿وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا﴾
Allah Almighty said: “If your parents strive to make you associate with Me something of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, but accompany them in this world with appropriate kindness.”
Hadith: 17
«وعن على قال بعث النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم سرية فاستعمل رجلا من الأنصار وأمرهم أن يطيعوه فغضب فقال أليس أمركم النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أن تطيعوني قالوا بلى قال فاجمعوا لي حطبا فجمعوا فقال أوقدوا نارا فأوقدوها فقال ادخلوها فهموا وجعل بعضهم يمسك بعضا ويقولون فررنا إلى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم من النار فما زالوا حتى خمدت النار فسكن غضبه فبلغ النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال لو دخلوها ما خرجوا منها إلى يوم القيامة الطاعة فى المعروف»
“Sayyiduna Ali رضي الله عنه narrates that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم sent out a detachment and appointed an Ansari as its leader and commanded the people to obey him. This person became angry with them and said: Was it not the case that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم commanded you to obey me? Everyone said: Yes, that is correct. He said: Then gather wood. The people gathered wood. Then he said: Light a fire. The people lit a fire. He said: Jump into it. The people hesitated and some began to stop each other saying: We obeyed the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم to avoid the fire, so should we now jump into the fire? While they were thinking and discussing this, the fire went out and the man’s anger also cooled down. Later, this matter was mentioned to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, who said: If these people had entered the fire, they would never have come out of it and would have burned forever in the Hellfire. Obedience is only in permissible commands.”
On the Day of Resurrection, one will be called by the name of their father
Hadith: 18
«وعن ابن عمر عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إن الغادر يرفع له لواء يوم القيامة يقال هذه غدرة فلان بن فلان»
Sayyiduna Ibn Umar رضي الله عنهما narrates from the Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم that he said: “On the Day of Resurrection, a flag will be raised for the deceiver, and it will be said: This is the sign of the deceit of so-and-so, son of so-and-so.”
Giving the newborn a date to chew after birth
Hadith: 19
«وعن عائشة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم كان يؤتى بالصبيان فيبرك عليهم ويحنكهم»
It is narrated from Sayyida Aisha رضي الله عنها that children were brought to the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم, and he would pray for blessings for them and give them a date to chew.”
Hadith: 20
«وعن أبى موسى قال ولد لي غلام فأتيت به النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فسماه إبراهيم فحنكه بتمرة ودعا له بالبركة»
“Sayyiduna Abu Musa رضي الله عنه narrates that a boy was born to me, so I brought him to the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم. He صلى الله عليه وسلم named him Ibrahim, performed Tahnik with a date, and prayed for blessings for him.”
Performing Aqiqah
Hadith: 21
«وعن عائشة قالت أمرنا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أن نعق عن الغلام شاتين وعن الجارية شاة»
Muhaddith Albani has declared it authentic.
“And Sayyida Aisha رضي الله عنها says that the Messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم commanded us to perform Aqiqah of two goats for a boy and one sheep for a girl.”
Shaving the child’s hair
Hadith: 22
«وعن أبى بريدة قال كنا فى الجاهلية إذا ولد لأحدنا غلام ذبح شاة ولطخ رأسه بدمها فلما جاء الله بالإسلام كنا نذبح شاة ونحلق رأسه ونلطخه بزعفران»
Muhaddith Albani has declared it authentic.
“And Sayyiduna Buraydah (may Allah be pleased with him) said that in the time of ignorance, when a boy was born to any of us, he would slaughter a goat for him and apply the blood of that goat on his head. When Allah Almighty granted us the blessing of Islam, we would slaughter a goat, shave his head, and apply saffron on his head.”
Hadith: 23
«وعن هاني بن يزيد أنه سمع النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قوما يسمون رجلا منهم عبد الحجر فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم ما اسمك قال عبد الحجر قال لا أنت عبد الله»
“And it is narrated from Hazrat Hani bin Yazid (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) heard some people calling a man ‘Abd al-Hajar’ (servant of the stone). The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: What is your name? He said: Abd al-Hajar (servant of the stone). He said: No, your name is Abd Allah (i.e., your name is Abdullah).”
Circumcision of the Child
Hadith: 24
«وعن أبى هريرة قال سمعت النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول الفطرة خمس الختان والاستحداد وقص الشارب وتقليم الأظفار ونتف الآباط»
“And it is narrated from Sayyiduna Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) that he said: I heard the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) say: Five things are part of the natural disposition (fitrah): 1. Circumcision, 2. Using a razor to remove hair below the navel, 3. Trimming the mustache, 4. Cutting the nails, and 5. Plucking the underarm hair.”
Providing for the Expenses of Children
قال الله تعالي: ﴿وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ﴾
Allah Almighty said: “And the father of the child is responsible for their food and clothing.”
Hadith: 25
«وعن أبى هريرة قال أمر النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم بالصدقة فقال رجل يا رسول الله عندي دينار فقال تصدق به على نفسك قال عندي آخر قال تصدق به على ولدك قال عندي آخر قال تصدق به على زوجتك أو قال زوجك قال عندي آخر قال تصدق به على خادمك قال عندي آخر قال أنت أبصر»
Muhaddith Albani has graded it as Hasan.
“And Sayyiduna Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) commanded charity. A man said: O Messenger of Allah! I have one dinar. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Spend it on yourself. He said: I have another dinar. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Spend it on your children. He said: I have another dinar. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Spend it on your wife. He said: I have another dinar. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Spend it on your servant. He said: I have more. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Now you know best (where the need is).”
Education and Upbringing of Children
قال الله تعالي: ﴿رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا﴾
Allah Almighty said: “My Lord! Have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.”
Hadith: 26
وعن أبى هريرة رضى الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ما من مولود إلا يولد على الفطرة فأبواه يهودانه أو ينصرانه أو يمجسانه كما تنتج البهيمة بهيمة جمعاء هل تحسون فيها جدعاء ثم يقول
﴿فِطْرَتَ اللّٰهِ الَّتِيْ فَطَرَ النَّاسَ عَلَيْهَا لَا تَبْدِيْلَ لِخَلْقِ اللّٰهِ ذٰلِكَ الدِّيْنُ الْقَيِّمُ وَ لٰـكِنَّ اَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لَا يَعْلَمُوْنَ﴾
“And it is narrated from Hazrat Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) that he stated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Every child is born upon the natural disposition (fitrah). Then his parents make him a Jew, or a Christian, or a Magian, just as a beast produces its offspring in perfect form. Do you find among them any with clipped ears? Then Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) recited the verse (which means): The nature created by Allah upon which He has created mankind. There is no change in the creation of Allah. This religion (Islam) is completely straight; there is no crookedness in it.”
Commanding Children to Pray
قال الله تعالي: ﴿وَكَانَ يَأْمُرُ أَهْلَهُ بِالصَّلَاةِ وَالزَّكَاةِ وَكَانَ عِندَ رَبِّهِ مَرْضِيًّا﴾
Allah Almighty said: “And (Ishmael) enjoined upon his people prayer and zakah, and he was ever pleasing to Allah.”
Hadith: 27
«وعن عمرو بن شعيب عن أبيه عن جده قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم مروا أولادكم بالصلاة وهم أبناء سبع سنين واضربوهم عليها وهم أبناء عشر سنين وفرقوا بينهم فى المضاجع»
Muhaddith Albani has graded it as Hasan Sahih.
“And Amr bin Shu’aib narrates from his father, who narrates from his grandfather that the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, said: Command your children to pray when they reach seven years of age, and when they reach ten years, discipline them for neglecting prayer, and separate their beds in the sleeping quarters.”
Showing Affection to Children
Hadith: 28
«وعن عائشة قالت جاء أعرابي إلى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال تقبلون الصبيان فما نقبلهم فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أوأملك لك أن نزع الله من قلبك الرحمة»
“And Sayyida Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, said that a Bedouin came to the Noble Prophet, peace be upon him, and said: Do you kiss children? We do not kiss them. The Noble Prophet, peace be upon him, said: If Allah has removed mercy and compassion from your heart, then I am not responsible for that.”
Treating Daughters with Kindness
Hadith: 29
«وعن عائشة قالت جاءتني امرأة معها ابنتان لها تسأل فلم تجد عندي شيئا غير تمرة فأعطيتها إياها فأخذتها فقسمتها بين ابنتيها ولم تأكل منها ثم قامت فخرجت وابنتاها فدخل على النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فحدثته حديثها فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم من ابتلى من البنات بشيء فأحسن إليهن كن له سترا من النار»
“And it is narrated from Sayyida Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) that she said: A woman came to me asking for help, and she had two daughters with her. I had nothing except one date. I gave it to her. She divided it equally between her two daughters and did not eat anything herself. Then she stood up and left with her daughters. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) came. I informed him about this, and he said: Whoever is tested with daughters and treats them well, then these daughters will be a barrier between him and the Fire.”
Treating Children Equally
قال الله تعالي: ﴿اعْدِلُوا هُوَ أَقْرَبُ لِلتَّقْوَىٰ﴾
Allah Almighty said: “Be just; that is nearer to righteousness.”
Hadith: 30
«وعن النعمان بن بشير أنه قال إن أباه أتي به رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال إني نحلت ابني هذا غلاما كان لي فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أكل ولدك نحلته مثل هذا فقال لا فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فارجعه
وفي رواية أنه قال أعطاني أبى عطية فقالت عمرة بنت رواحة لا أرضى حتي تشهد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فأتي رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال إني أعطيت ابني من عمرة بنت رواحة عطية فأمرني أن أشهدك يا رسول الله قال أعطيت سائر ولدك مثل هذا قال لا قال فاتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكم قال فرجع فرد عطيته
وفي رواية أنه قال لا أشهد على جور»
“And Hazrat Nu’man bin Bashir (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that his father came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) with him and said that he had given a slave as a gift to his son. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked: Have you given all your children gifts like this? He said: No. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Take back this gift from this boy.
And in one narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Do you like that all your children be equally obedient to you? He said: Why not? The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Then this gift is not correct.
In another narration, Hazrat Nu’man bin Bashir (may Allah be pleased with him) said: My father gave me a gift. Then (my mother) Umrah bint Rawahah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: I am not pleased until you make the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) a witness. So he came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: I have given my son (Nu’man) a gift from the womb of Umrah bint Rawahah, and O Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him)! She told me to make you a witness. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked: Have you given all your children such gifts? He said: No. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: Fear Allah and treat your children equally. He said that he (upon hearing this) went back and took back the gift.
In another narration, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: I do not bear witness to oppression.”
Being Patient When Children Pass Away
Hadith: 31
«وعن أبى هريرة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لنسوة من الأنصار لا يموت لإحداكن ثلاثة من الولد فتحتسبه إلا دخلت الجنة فقالت امرأة منهن أو اثنين يا رسول الله قال أو اثنين»
“And Hazrat Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said to the women of the Ansar: Whoever among you has three children who die and she remains patient, then that woman will enter Paradise. One of the women asked: O Messenger of Allah! Is this ruling also for two children? He (peace be upon him) replied: Yes, the same ruling applies for two children as well.”
Hadith: 32
«وعن أبى هريرة رضي الله عنه عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال لا يموت لمسلم ثلاثة من الولد فيلج النار إلا تحلة القسم»
“And Sayyiduna Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him) said: When a Muslim has three children who die, he will enter Hellfire only to fulfill a vow.”
Hadith: 33
«وعن أبى هريرة رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم اثنان فى الناس هما بهم كفر الطعن فى النسب والنياحة على الميت»
“And Hazrat Abu Huraira (RA) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: Among the people, there are two acts of disbelief: insulting lineage and mourning excessively over the dead.”
Hadith: 34
«وعن أنس بن مالك رضي الله عنه قال دخلنا مع رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم على أبى سيف القين وكان ظئرا لإبراهيم فأخذ رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم إبراهيم فقبله وشمه ثم دخلنا عليه بعد ذلك وإبراهيم يجود بنفسه فجعلت عينا رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم تذرفان فقال له عبد الرحمن بن عوف وأنت يا رسول الله فقال يا ابن عوف إنها رحمة ثم أتبعها بأخري فقال إن العين تدمع والقلب يحزن ولا نقول إلا ما يرضى ربنا وإنا بفراقك يا إبراهيم لمحزونون»
“And Hazrat Anas bin Malik (RA) narrates that we went with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) to Abu Saif the blacksmith, who was the foster father of the Prophet’s son Ibrahim. The Prophet (PBUH) lifted Ibrahim, kissed him, and showed affection towards him. Later, when we went there again, Ibrahim was in the throes of death. Upon this, tears came to the eyes of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). Then Abdul Rahman bin Awf (RA) addressed the Prophet (PBUH) and asked: O Messenger of Allah (PBUH)! You too? (Are you shedding tears?) The Prophet (PBUH) said: O son of Awf! Shedding tears is mercy. Then the Prophet (PBUH) began to weep and said: The eyes are shedding tears, the heart is grieved, and we say what pleases our Lord. And O Ibrahim! Indeed, we are deeply saddened by your separation.”
Parents and Children Performing Each Other’s Funeral Prayer
Hadith: 35
«وعن أبى هريرة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال من اتبع جنازة مسلم إيمانا واحتسابا وكان معه حتي يصلي عليها ويفرغ من دفنها فإنه يرجع من الأجر بقيراطين كل قيراط مثل أحد ومن صلى عليها ثم رجع قبل أن تدفن فإنه يرجع بقيراط»
“And Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Whoever goes to a Muslim’s funeral with faith and seeking reward, and stays until the funeral prayer is performed and the burial is completed, will receive the reward of two qirats. Each qirat is equivalent to Mount Uhud. And whoever performs the funeral prayer but returns before the burial will receive the reward of one qirat.”
Funeral Prayer for a Stillborn Child
Hadith: 36
«وعن المغيرة بن شعبة أن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال الراكب يسير خلف الجنازة والماشي يمشي خلفها وأمامها وعن يمينها وعن يسارها قريبا منها والسقط يصلي عليه ويدعي لوالديه بالمغفرة والرحمة»
Muhaddith Albani has declared it authentic.
“And Hazrat Mughirah bin Shu’bah (RA) said that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: The rider should walk behind the funeral, and those on foot should walk in front, behind, and close to it on the right and left. And the funeral prayer should be offered for an incomplete child, and supplications for forgiveness and mercy should be made for his parents.”
Not Offering Funeral Prayer for a Minor Child
Hadith: 37
«وعن عائشة قالت مات إبراهيم بن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم وهو ابن ثمانية عشر شهرا فلم يصل عليه رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم»
Muhaddith Albani has graded it as Hasan Isnad.
“And Hazrat Aisha (RA) narrates that the son of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), Ibrahim, passed away at the age of eighteen months. The Prophet (PBUH) did not offer the funeral prayer for him.”
Prohibition of Seclusion with Non-Mahram for Daughters
Hadith: 38
«وعن ابن عباس قال سمعت النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول لا يخلون رجل بامرأة إلا ومعها ذو محرم»
“And it is narrated from Hazrat Abdullah bin Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: No man should be alone with a woman unless a mahram of hers is with her.”
Choosing Good Matches for Children
قال الله تعالي: ﴿الْخَبِيثَاتُ لِلْخَبِيثِينَ وَالْخَبِيثُونَ لِلْخَبِيثَاتِ ۖ وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ﴾
Allah Almighty said: “Impure women are for impure men, and impure men are for impure women. And pure women are for pure men, and pure men are for pure women.”
Hadith: 39
«عن عمرو بن شعيب عن أبيه عن جده أن مرثد بن أبى مرثد الغنوي كان يحمل الأساري بمكة وكان بمكة بغي يقال لها عناق وكانت صديقته قال جئت إلى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فقلت يا رسول الله أنكح عناق قال فسكت عني فنزلت ﴿وَّ الزَّانِيَةُ لَا يَنْكِحُهَاۤ اِلَّا زَانٍ اَوْ مُشْرِكٌ﴾ فدعاني فقرأها على وقال لا تنكحها»
Muhaddith Albani graded it as Hasan Sahih.
“And Hazrat Amr bin Shu’aib narrates from his father, who narrates from his grandfather that Hazrat Marthad bin Abi Marthad (RA) used to take prisoners from Mecca to Medina. There was a sinful woman living in Mecca named Anaq, and she was his friend (before he embraced Islam). Marthad (RA) says that I came to the presence of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and asked: O Messenger of Allah! Should I marry Anaq? The Prophet (PBUH) remained silent. Then this verse was revealed: ﴿وَّ الزَّانِيَةُ لَا يَنْكِحُهَاۤ اِلَّا زَانٍ اَوْ مُشْرِكٌ﴾ meaning that a fornicator (sinful) woman is married only by one who is himself a fornicator or a polytheist. Hazrat Marthad (RA) says that he recited this verse to me and said: Do not marry her.”
Taking Permission from the Girl Before Marriage
Hadith: 40
«وعن ابن عباس أن جارية بكرا أتت النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم فذكرت أن أباها زوجها وهى كارهة فخيرها النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم»
Muhaddith Albani has declared it authentic.
“And Abdullah bin Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) narrates that a virgin girl came to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and said that her father had married her off and she was unhappy with this marriage. The Prophet (peace be upon him) gave her the choice (to keep or annul the marriage).”
A Girl Should Not Marry Without a Guardian
Hadith: 41
«وعن عائشة أن رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قال أيما امرأة نكحت بغير إذن وليها فنكاحها باطل فنكاحها باطل فنكاحها باطل»
Muhaddith Albani has declared it authentic.
“And Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Any woman who marries without the permission of her guardian, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.”
وصلي الله تعالي على خير خلقه محمد وآله وصحبه أجمعين
