Two People Should Not Whisper in the Presence of a Third Person

Authored by: Sheikh Abdul Salam bin Muhammad (may Allah protect him)

Narrated by Ibn Masud (may Allah be pleased with him): The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “If you are three, then two should not whisper to each other, excluding the third, until you mingle with other people, because that would grieve him.” [Agreed upon, and this narration is from Muslim]

Bulugh al-Maram: 1239

Sources of the Hadith:
[Bukhari: 2688], [Muslim, Chapter of Peace: 37], [Bulugh al-Maram: 1237], and others. Refer to Tuhfat al-Ashraf 7/56.

Vocabulary:​

The term "يحزنه" can be conjugated in two ways:

  • With a kasra under the letter "ز" (like "أكرم يُكرم"), or
  • With a damma on the "ز" (like "نصر ينصر").
    Both forms are transitive and mean "to cause grief." For example, "Those who hasten to disbelief should not grieve you" (Surah Al-Imran: 19).
  • When the "ز" has a fatha, the verb becomes intransitive, meaning "to be grieved," as in "Do not grieve, indeed Allah is with us" (Surah At-Tawbah: 40).

Benefits of the Hadith:​

  1. Grief caused by exclusion: When two people whisper to each other in the presence of a third, it may make the third person feel upset. He might think they are plotting against him or, at the very least, feel that they don’t consider him worthy of being included in their conversation.
  2. Whispering after mingling with others: After other people join the group, two individuals may whisper to each other, even if only one additional person is present. In this case, the third person is no longer isolated, and he can converse with the new person. Imam Malik narrated from Abdullah bin Dinar that once he and Abdullah bin Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) were at Khalid bin Uqbah's house in the marketplace. A man came to speak to Abdullah bin Umar privately. At that time, no one else was with them besides Abdullah bin Dinar. So Abdullah bin Umar called another man and said to him and Abdullah bin Dinar, "Wait for a moment, because I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) say…" and then he narrated this Hadith: “When you are three…” [Muwatta].
  3. Imam Malik's interpretation: He (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Just as two people should not whisper, leaving out the third, similarly, a larger group (e.g., three or ten people) should not isolate one person by whispering among themselves. Doing so would cause more grief than two people excluding one. Therefore, unless the isolated person has someone else to converse with, it is not permissible for others to whisper among themselves. [Fath al-Bari]
  4. Etiquette of whispering in the presence of others: If two people are speaking privately and a third person approaches, it is not permissible for him to listen in. Furthermore, the arrival of a third person does not invalidate the privacy of the conversation between the original two. Sa'id al-Maqburi reported: “I passed by Abdullah bin Umar (may Allah be pleased with them) while he was speaking to someone. I stood near them, and Abdullah bin Umar pushed me in the chest, saying: ‘When you see two people speaking privately, do not stand near them or sit with them until you obtain permission.’” [Sahih al-Adab al-Mufrad by Bukhari, 1166/889]
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "Whoever eavesdrops on the conversation of people who try to avoid him, molten lead will be poured into his ears on the Day of Resurrection."

— [Narrated by Ibn Abbas, Ahmad, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi, Sahih al-Jami’ 6370]
 
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