The Prohibition of Harming One’s Mother

Written by: Fadilat Al-Sheikh Abdul Salam bin Muhammad (Hafizahullah)

Hadith:​

Mughira bin Shu’bah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:

"Indeed, Allah has made it forbidden for you to be undutiful to your mothers, to bury your daughters alive, to refuse the obligations, and to beg for that which is not rightfully yours. He has also disliked for you: gossiping, asking too many questions, and wasting wealth."
[Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]

Explanation:​

This hadith outlines several actions that are prohibited or disliked in Islam:

1. Harming Mothers:The hadith specifically mentions disobedience and harm towards mothers, even though both parents deserve kindness and respect. The emphasis on mothers is due to their greater right over the children, as they endure more hardships in raising them. Allah says:
   
   "And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination."
   [Surah Luqman: 14]
   
   In another hadith, the Prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized kindness towards the mother three times before mentioning the father, highlighting the mother’s unique status. Additionally, mothers are often more vulnerable and thus more likely to be mistreated by their children.
2. What Constitutes Disobedienceisobedience or harm (‘Uquq) includes any words or actions that cause distress to the parents, especially the mother, unless the parents themselves are acting unjustly. In such cases, Allah commands:
   
   "Your Lord is most knowing of what is within your souls. If you should be righteous [in intention] – then indeed He is ever, to the oft-returning [to Him], Forgiving."
   [Surah Al-Isra: 25]
   
   Obeying parents is essential unless it involves disobedience to Allah. As the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
   
   "There is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the Creator."
   [Sharh as-Sunnah]
3. Burying Daughters Alive:In pre-Islamic Arabia, it was common to bury daughters alive out of fear of poverty or disgrace. This practice was completely forbidden in Islam. Allah says:
   
   "Do not kill your children for fear of poverty."
   [Surah Al-An’am: 151]
   
   While in the past this practice occurred on an individual level, modern societies sometimes engage in similar acts through governmental policies, such as restrictions on childbirth or forced abortions.
4. Withholding Obligations and Asking Excessively:The phrase "withholding obligations" refers to not giving others their due, while constantly demanding from others. This includes a selfish attitude of always asking for help but never offering it in return. This attitude is condemned as it reflects stinginess and greed.
5. Gossiping and Talking Idly:The hadith condemns spreading rumors, engaging in excessive and unnecessary speech, and making baseless claims about others. Gossiping causes division and fosters an environment of mistrust. It also includes discussing matters that do not concern oneself or that serve no beneficial purpose, especially when it comes to religious discussions without proper knowledge.
   
   The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
   
   "Whoever says that people are ruined is the most ruined among them."
   [Sahih Muslim]
   
   Spreading hearsay about religious disputes without offering clear conclusions can also lead to confusion and alienation from the faith.
6. Wasting Wealth:Wasting wealth refers to using one’s resources irresponsibly or spending beyond one’s means in non-essential matters. It also includes investing money in prohibited or harmful activities. Islam encourages moderation in spending, as Allah says:
   
   "And those who, when they spend, are neither extravagant nor stingy, but are between that."
   [Surah Al-Furqan: 67]

Lessons:​

• Respect for Mothers: Mothers are entitled to special care and kindness due to the hardships they endure in raising their children.
• Moderation in Asking and Spending: Excessive questioning and unnecessary spending are discouraged in Islam. Both behaviors reflect a lack of gratitude and responsibility.
• Avoidance of Gossip: Engaging in idle talk and rumors causes harm and division among people, and Islam emphasizes the importance of speaking only what is beneficial or necessary.
• Upholding Rights: It is obligatory to fulfill the rights of others, whether it involves wealth or other responsibilities.