This excerpt is taken from the book by Fazilat-ul-Sheikh Abdul Salam Rustami From Denial of Hadith to Denial of Quran.
Hadith 11: Intimacy During Menstruation
Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari, Menstruation, Chapter: Intimacy with a Menstruating Woman, Hadith: 301, 300, 299
Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) narrates: The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and I used to bathe from the same vessel while we were in a state of major ritual impurity (janabah), and during menstruation, he would command me, so I would wear a waist wrapper (izar) and he would have intimacy with me. And during I'tikaf (spiritual retreat), he would extend his head from the mosque towards me, and I would wash it, even though I was menstruating.
Reference: Source of Hadith p: 220
The biggest objection to this hadith is that intimacy during menstruation is prohibited according to the Quran, whereas the hadith affirms it.
Answer:
This hadith is authentic, but there is no harm in a husband and wife bathing together in their home. There is also no harm in intercourse over the izar (waist wrapper) during menstruation, but the meaning of intercourse is not mixing (sexual penetration). The meaning of intercourse is: body touching body; this meaning is often used in the ahadith. In the Quran, the meaning of intercourse is sexual union, but there is no indication that this meaning should be taken in every verse. Here, too, wearing the izar is clear evidence that sexual union is not meant. It is permissible for a person observing i'tikaf to stick their head out of the mosque and for a menstruating woman to wash it because the hands and feet of a menstruating woman are pure.
