Authored by: Imran Ayub Lahori❖ Sending a Marriage Proposal and Seeking a Woman’s Consent
When the woman is of mature age, the marriage proposal should be sent directly to her, and her consent must be obtained.
Narrated by Umm Salamah رضي الله عنها:
After the death of Abū Salamah,
"The Prophet ﷺ sent Ḥāṭib ibn Abī Baltaʿah to me with a marriage proposal."
(Muslim: 918, Kitāb al-Janā’iz; Nasā’ī: 3254; Aḥmad: 6/313)
❖ ① Consent of the Previously Married and the Virgin Woman
Narrated by Abū Hurayrah رضي الله عنه, the Prophet ﷺ said:
"Do not marry a previously married woman without consulting her, and do not marry a virgin without seeking her permission."
The Companions asked, “O Messenger of Allah! How will a virgin give her permission?”
He ﷺ replied:
"Her permission is her silence."
(Bukhārī: 5136, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ; Muslim: 1419; Abū Dāwūd: 2094; Tirmidhī: 1109; Nasā’ī: 8716; Ibn Mājah: 1871; Bayhaqī: 7/120)
❖ ② Consent of the Virgin Is Her Silence
Narrated by Ibn ʿAbbās رضي الله عنهما, the Prophet ﷺ said:
"The virgin must be asked for her permission, and her consent is her silence."
(Muslim: 1421, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ; Muwaṭṭā: 2/524; Aḥmad: 1/241; Dārimī: 2/138; Abū Dāwūd: 2098; Tirmidhī: 1108; Nasā’ī: 6/84; Ibn Mājah: 1870; Sharḥ al-Sunnah: 5/25; ʿAbd al-Razzāq: 6/124)
❖ ③ A Girl Has the Right to Reject an Unwanted Marriage
Narrated by Ibn ʿAbbās رضي الله عنهما:
A virgin girl came to the Prophet ﷺ and said that her father married her off against her will:
"The Prophet ﷺ gave her the choice."
(i.e., she could annul the marriage if she wished)
(Ṣaḥīḥ: Ṣaḥīḥ Abī Dāwūd: 1845; Kitāb al-Nikāḥ; Ibn Mājah: 1875; Aḥmad: 1/273; Dāraqutnī: 3/234)
Note: This ruling applies before consummation of the marriage. After consummation, a woman has the right to seek annulment only through khulʿ, divorce, or a valid Shar‘ī reason.❖ Who Must Be Asked for Permission?
Permission is required from:- A mature virgin
- A mature widow/divorced woman
It is not required for a minor girl.Example:
Abū Bakr رضي الله عنه gave ʿĀ’ishah رضي الله عنها in marriage to the Prophet ﷺ when she was six years old.
(Bukhārī: 5133, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ; Muslim: 1422)
Conclusion:
✔ A woman’s consent is essential in Islam for the validity of a marriage.
✔ For a virgin, silence indicates acceptance.
✔ For a widow/divorcee, verbal consent is necessary.
✔ Forced marriages are invalid without the woman’s will, particularly before consummation.
✔ Minors may be married by their guardians, but consent will be needed upon maturity if not yet consummated.
