This excerpt is taken from Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi's book Halal and Haram in Islam, translated into Urdu by Muhammad Tahir Naqqash.
Divorce becomes permissible only in such a case
After all these situations and all efforts have failed, it becomes permissible for the husband to seek the last resort out of necessity, which Islam has made lawful so that a solution to the difficulties may be found, and this last resort is divorce. Islam has permitted this method reluctantly. It is neither recommended nor desirable, rather the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
أبغض الحلال إلى الله الطلاق
"Allah has not made anything more disliked lawful than divorce."
Reference: Abu Dawood, Book of Divorce, Chapter on the Dislike of Divorce, Hadith 2178; Ibn Majah, Book of Divorce, Chapter, Hadith 2018
He also said:
ما أحل الله شيئا أبغض إليه من الطلاق
"Allah has not made anything more disliked lawful than divorce."
Reference: Abu Dawood, Book of Divorce, Chapter on the Dislike of Divorce, Hadith 2177
And the fact that divorce is lawful but disliked shows that divorce is a separation permitted out of necessity. It can be adopted in such a situation where domestic life is affected and hatred settles in the hearts of the spouses, and they are no longer able to remain within the limits set by Allah and fulfill the rights of marriage. As someone said, when there is no possibility of reconciliation, separation is better. Allah Almighty says:
وَإِن يَتَفَرَّقَا يُغْنِ اللَّهُ كُلًّا مِّن سَعَتِهِ
"If they separate, Allah will enrich each of them from His abundance."
Reference: Surah An-Nisa: 130
Method of Divorce Before Islam
Islam did not alone declare divorce permissible; rather, before Islam, the method of divorce was prevalent throughout the world, except among one or two nations. When a man became angry with a woman, whether for a valid reason or unjustly, he would expel her from his house, and the woman could not defend herself. She could neither claim any compensation from him nor did she have any other rights.
At the time when the Greeks gained fame and their civilization was flourishing, divorce was also practiced among them without any restrictions or conditions.
According to the Romans, divorce was considered valid from the very moment the marriage existed, to the extent that if the spouses stipulated a condition of no divorce, the judge would declare the marriage invalid.
Among the ancient Roman tribes, in the case of religious marriage, divorce was forbidden; however, the husband gained unlimited authority over his wife, to the extent that in some cases, killing the wife was permissible for him. Later, their religion declared divorce permissible in the same way as it was permissible under civil law.
Divorce in Judaism
As far as Judaism is concerned, it provided means to improve the condition of the wife but by permitting divorce, it greatly expanded its justification. If the husband proved the wife guilty of immorality, he was religiously compelled to divorce her; even if the husband forgave her crime, it was still necessary for him to give divorce. Moreover, according to the law, if after ten years the woman did not have children, it was necessary to give divorce.
Reference: Al-Islam Deen-e-Aam Khalid by Fareed Wajdi p: 172
Divorce in Christianity
The Christian religion is completely unique in the matter of divorce. It opposed the Jewish religion and, attributing to Jesus Christ (peace be upon him), the Gospel declared divorce forbidden. It also declared the marriage between the man who divorces and the divorced woman to be forbidden. In the Gospel of Matthew, it is stated:
"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce,' but I say to you that whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery."
And in the Gospel of Mark, it is stated:
"Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."
Reference: Mark: 10-11-12
The reason for this prohibition in the Gospel is explained as:
"What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
Reference: Matthew 19:6
This sentence is absolutely correct in its meaning, but it is surprising to consider it as the reason for the prohibition of divorce. The straightforward meaning of God joining the spouses is that He has permitted marriage and made it lawful. Now, if He allowed divorce due to certain necessities, then this distinction is also from God, even if humans carried out the act of separation. It becomes clear from this that the one who joined them is not a human who separates them, but God Himself. Is He not the one who separates them in the case of adultery? Similarly, there can be other reasons for separation besides adultery.
Difference of Christian Religion on the Issue of Divorce
Although the Gospel has exempted divorce in the case of adultery, the Catholic religion has interpreted this exception. They say that in reality, there is no exception here, nor is there any allowance for divorce. Divorce does not exist in the Christian religion. As for the cause of adultery, it is in itself a reason to annul the marriage contract, so in the case of adultery, it is not only permissible but obligatory for the man to leave the woman.
On the other hand, followers of the Protestant religion consider divorce permissible in specific cases, such as the wife committing adultery or the husband being unfaithful, etc. This is an addition to the statement in the Gospel of Matthew. However, in such cases, both the man who divorces and the divorced woman are prohibited from remarrying each other.
As for the followers of the Orthodox religion, their religious councils in Egypt have permitted divorce on the grounds of the wife committing adultery and a few other reasons. These reasons include the wife remaining barren for three years, contagious diseases, and a prolonged series of quarrels with no hope of reconciliation. But these reasons are considered additions to the Gospel. This is why the guardians of this religion have not been able to convince others of the legitimacy of divorce on these grounds. For this reason, the Christian court in Egypt rejected the claim of a Christian woman who sought divorce from her impoverished husband, remarking that it is a strange matter that some religious leaders and members of this council have permitted divorce on grounds that have no basis in the Gospel.
The Result of These Restrictions of Christianity in the Matter of Divorce
The result of these restrictions was that the followers of Christianity rebelled against their religion and deviated from the guidance of the Gospel in the same way that an arrow leaves the bow, separating what Allah had joined. Consequently, Christian Western societies enacted civil laws that made it permissible to escape this confinement, and countries like America and many others completely relaxed the grounds for divorce. It was as if they were challenging the Gospel. The result was that people began to use divorce as a weapon for trivial reasons. When this extremism caused disruption in marital life and the family system, it was considered a matter of complaint by their scholars and leaders. To the extent that a famous judge dealing with divorce cases was compelled to say that soon marital life would end in their country, and relations between men and women would be established in the form of permissiveness and anarchy. Today, the status of marital life is like that of a commercial company, whose two partners break the contract for minor reasons. This situation is against the guidance of all religions.
Christianity's Unique Approach to Divorce
An example of adapting family laws to civil laws, deviating from religious teachings, is probably found only in Western Christianity. People of other religions keep their family life subject to religious teachings, but Christians are the only community that has deviated from their religion in this regard, especially concerning divorce, because they felt that its teachings on divorce were contrary to life. Human nature is unfamiliar with it, and its application to human life is not correct.
Reference: Human Rights in Islam by Dr. Ali Abdul Wahid Wafi, p. 88
Christianity was a temporary remedy, not a universal Sharia
Regarding the matter of divorce, even if what is mentioned in the Gospel is correct and assuming that there was no alteration in it during the early centuries, it is still clear that the intention of Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him) was not to establish a permanent and universal law for all humanity. His purpose was to oppose the excesses committed by the Jews concerning the permissions granted by Allah, and the exaggeration they made regarding divorce. In the Gospel of Matthew, it is mentioned that when the Pharisees wanted to test Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him), they asked him:
"Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?" He answered: "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate." They said to him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery also."
Reference: Matthew 19:1-10
It is not reasonable that Prophet Jesus (peace be upon him) intended this ruling on divorce to be a permanent law because his disciples and sincere followers themselves considered this ruling burdensome.
They said: "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry."
Reference: Matthew 19:10
Because in such a case, marrying means putting a yoke around one's neck from which there is no escape, no matter how much the man detests his wife, how much he is distressed by her, or how much their temperaments and inclinations differ.
