Adapted from: Fatawa ‘Ulama-e-Hadith, Kitab al-Salah, Volume 1
My wife prays five times a day, but she uses offensive language and sometimes even raises her hand against me. What does the Shari‘ah say regarding such a woman?
Islamic Shari‘ah has extensively detailed the rights and responsibilities of both husband and wife. If either spouse neglects their obligations, they are answerable before Allah.
﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثلُ الَّذى عَلَيهِنَّ بِالمَعروفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجالِ عَلَيهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ﴾
“And for women are rights similar to those upon them, according to what is reasonable. But men have a degree over them.”
(Al-Baqarah: 228)
◆ Imam al-Jassas (رحمه الله) said:
This verse shows that both spouses have rights upon each other, but the husband has additional rights not granted to the wife.
◆ Imam Ibn al-‘Arabi (رحمه الله) said:
This verse clearly proves that in the institution of marriage, the husband has superiority in terms of authority and rights.
Allah has made the husband the protector and maintainer of the wife due to certain physical and intellectual advantages.
﴿الرِّجالُ قَوّٰمونَ عَلَى النِّساءِ﴾
“Men are protectors and maintainers of women…”
(An-Nisa: 34)
◆ Hafiz Ibn Kathir (رحمه الله) said:
Men are given authority over women, and the divine instructions regarding them must be followed.
It is obligatory upon the wife to make herself available to the husband for fulfilling lawful desires.
If she refuses intimacy without a valid Shar‘i excuse (e.g. menstruation, illness), it is considered a major sin.
◆ Hadith:
“When a husband calls his wife to bed and she refuses, the angels curse her until morning.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 3065; Sahih Muslim: 1436)
A wife must not allow anyone into the house without the husband’s permission.
◆ Hadith:
“It is not permissible for a woman to observe a voluntary fast or allow anyone into her home without her husband’s permission.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 4899; Sahih Muslim: 1026)
A wife should not leave her home without the husband's permission, even to visit her own parents for something like illness or condolence.
The Shari‘ah permits a gradual approach to discipline a disobedient wife:
✔ First: Admonish her gently and explain the consequences of her actions.
✔ Second: If the behavior continues, separate from her in bed as a sign of displeasure.
✔ Third: If all else fails, a light (non-violent) beating is allowed as a last resort.
Violence and harm are strictly prohibited.
﴿وَاللَّاتى تَخافونَ نُشوزَهُنَّ فَعِظوهُنَّ وَاهجُروهُنَّ فِى المَضاجِعِ وَاضرِبوهُنَّ﴾
“As for those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance, then admonish them, forsake them in bed, and [lastly] strike them [lightly].”
(An-Nisa: 34)
﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثلُ الَّذى عَلَيهِنَّ بِالمَعروفِ﴾
“And for women are rights similar to those upon them, according to what is reasonable.”
(Al-Baqarah: 228)
◆ Imam al-Qurtubi (رحمه الله) said:
It is obligatory for a husband to treat his wife with kindness and goodness.
If a wife is failing in her responsibilities, the husband should follow these steps:
① Admonishment:
Begin by kind and sincere advice, helping her understand her errors.
② Separation in Bed:
If gentle advice proves ineffective, separate beds to express discontent.
③ Light Beating:
As a last resort, a light, symbolic beating is allowed. It must never involve abuse or injury.
The Prophet ﷺ permitted it but did not prefer it. Hence, avoiding it is more virtuous.
May Allah enable all of us to fulfill our duties with sincerity and according to His commands.
آمِينَ يَا رَبَّ العٰلَمِينَ
❖ Question:
My wife prays five times a day, but she uses offensive language and sometimes even raises her hand against me. What does the Shari‘ah say regarding such a woman?
❖ Answer:
Islamic Shari‘ah has extensively detailed the rights and responsibilities of both husband and wife. If either spouse neglects their obligations, they are answerable before Allah.
﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثلُ الَّذى عَلَيهِنَّ بِالمَعروفِ ۚ وَلِلرِّجالِ عَلَيهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ﴾
“And for women are rights similar to those upon them, according to what is reasonable. But men have a degree over them.”
(Al-Baqarah: 228)
❖ Scholarly Explanations:
◆ Imam al-Jassas (رحمه الله) said:
This verse shows that both spouses have rights upon each other, but the husband has additional rights not granted to the wife.
◆ Imam Ibn al-‘Arabi (رحمه الله) said:
This verse clearly proves that in the institution of marriage, the husband has superiority in terms of authority and rights.
➤ Husband’s Rights in Shari‘ah
➊ Obligation of Obedience:
Allah has made the husband the protector and maintainer of the wife due to certain physical and intellectual advantages.
﴿الرِّجالُ قَوّٰمونَ عَلَى النِّساءِ﴾
“Men are protectors and maintainers of women…”
(An-Nisa: 34)
◆ Hafiz Ibn Kathir (رحمه الله) said:
Men are given authority over women, and the divine instructions regarding them must be followed.
➋ Right to Intimacy:
It is obligatory upon the wife to make herself available to the husband for fulfilling lawful desires.
If she refuses intimacy without a valid Shar‘i excuse (e.g. menstruation, illness), it is considered a major sin.
◆ Hadith:
“When a husband calls his wife to bed and she refuses, the angels curse her until morning.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 3065; Sahih Muslim: 1436)
➌ Restricting Unwanted Entry into the Home:
A wife must not allow anyone into the house without the husband’s permission.
◆ Hadith:
“It is not permissible for a woman to observe a voluntary fast or allow anyone into her home without her husband’s permission.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari: 4899; Sahih Muslim: 1026)
➍ Not Leaving the House Without Permission:
A wife should not leave her home without the husband's permission, even to visit her own parents for something like illness or condolence.
➎ Disciplinary Measures Against Disobedience:
The Shari‘ah permits a gradual approach to discipline a disobedient wife:
✔ First: Admonish her gently and explain the consequences of her actions.
✔ Second: If the behavior continues, separate from her in bed as a sign of displeasure.
✔ Third: If all else fails, a light (non-violent) beating is allowed as a last resort.
Violence and harm are strictly prohibited.
﴿وَاللَّاتى تَخافونَ نُشوزَهُنَّ فَعِظوهُنَّ وَاهجُروهُنَّ فِى المَضاجِعِ وَاضرِبوهُنَّ﴾
“As for those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance, then admonish them, forsake them in bed, and [lastly] strike them [lightly].”
(An-Nisa: 34)
➤ Wife’s Rights in Shari‘ah
➊ Good Treatment:
﴿وَلَهُنَّ مِثلُ الَّذى عَلَيهِنَّ بِالمَعروفِ﴾
“And for women are rights similar to those upon them, according to what is reasonable.”
(Al-Baqarah: 228)
◆ Imam al-Qurtubi (رحمه الله) said:
It is obligatory for a husband to treat his wife with kindness and goodness.
➤ Steps for Reforming the Wife
If a wife is failing in her responsibilities, the husband should follow these steps:
① Admonishment:
Begin by kind and sincere advice, helping her understand her errors.
② Separation in Bed:
If gentle advice proves ineffective, separate beds to express discontent.
③ Light Beating:
As a last resort, a light, symbolic beating is allowed. It must never involve abuse or injury.
The Prophet ﷺ permitted it but did not prefer it. Hence, avoiding it is more virtuous.
✦ Final Supplication:
May Allah enable all of us to fulfill our duties with sincerity and according to His commands.
آمِينَ يَا رَبَّ العٰلَمِينَ
