This article is derived from the book "500 Questions and Answers for Women," based on the fatwas of the scholars of the Haramain, translated by Hafiz Abdullah Saleem.
The truth is that this practice has become widespread in our community, and my family members see no harm in it because, in their opinion, it is not forbidden. However, since I follow the teachings of Islam, I find myself confused and hesitant about this matter.
How can I rectify this situation? If I refuse to shake hands with them, they will be greatly offended and may accuse me of disrespecting, disliking, or not loving them—and by love, I mean the familial bond, not an inappropriate relationship between a young man and a woman.
Indeed, it is authentically reported that the Prophet ﷺ said:
إني لا أصافح النساء
"Indeed, I do not shake hands with women."
(Ṣaḥīḥ Sunan al-Nasā’ī, 4181)
He also said:
ما مست يد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يد امرأة قط، ما كان يبايعهن إلا بالكلام
"The hand of Allah’s Messenger ﷺ never touched the hand of any woman. He used to take their pledge of allegiance only through words."
(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, 4983; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 1866)
If shaking hands with non-Mahram women is prohibited, then kissing them is an even greater sin. Whether these women are cousins, neighbors, or members of the same tribe, such actions are forbidden by the consensus of the scholars. These practices are a means of leading towards greater immorality and indecency.
A Muslim must avoid this practice and explain to relatives and acquaintances that it is Islamically prohibited. Even if it is a common practice in society, it does not change the ruling. Both men and women are obligated to abstain from such acts, regardless of family or societal norms. Instead, verbal greetings (salam) should suffice without handshakes or kisses.
(Fatwa by Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz, رحمه الله)
Question:
I occasionally visit my family and relatives, sometimes after six months or even after a whole year. When I arrive home, all the women, young and old, welcome me and kiss me out of modesty and affection.The truth is that this practice has become widespread in our community, and my family members see no harm in it because, in their opinion, it is not forbidden. However, since I follow the teachings of Islam, I find myself confused and hesitant about this matter.
How can I rectify this situation? If I refuse to shake hands with them, they will be greatly offended and may accuse me of disrespecting, disliking, or not loving them—and by love, I mean the familial bond, not an inappropriate relationship between a young man and a woman.
Answer:
It is not permissible for a Muslim man to shake hands with or kiss any woman except his wife and Mahram women. This practice is among the prohibited acts that lead to temptation (fitnah), immodesty, and moral corruption.Indeed, it is authentically reported that the Prophet ﷺ said:
إني لا أصافح النساء
"Indeed, I do not shake hands with women."
(Ṣaḥīḥ Sunan al-Nasā’ī, 4181)
He also said:
ما مست يد رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يد امرأة قط، ما كان يبايعهن إلا بالكلام
"The hand of Allah’s Messenger ﷺ never touched the hand of any woman. He used to take their pledge of allegiance only through words."
(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, 4983; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, 1866)
If shaking hands with non-Mahram women is prohibited, then kissing them is an even greater sin. Whether these women are cousins, neighbors, or members of the same tribe, such actions are forbidden by the consensus of the scholars. These practices are a means of leading towards greater immorality and indecency.
A Muslim must avoid this practice and explain to relatives and acquaintances that it is Islamically prohibited. Even if it is a common practice in society, it does not change the ruling. Both men and women are obligated to abstain from such acts, regardless of family or societal norms. Instead, verbal greetings (salam) should suffice without handshakes or kisses.
(Fatwa by Sheikh Abdul Aziz bin Abdullah bin Baz, رحمه الله)