This excerpt is taken from Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi's book Halal and Haram in Islam, translated into Urdu by Muhammad Tahir Naqash.
Mistreating Parents is a Major Sin
Children have the right that their parents treat them kindly, obey them, and always respect them. This right is, in fact, the voice of nature, and it is obligatory to fulfill it in the best manner. Special care should be taken for the rights of the mother because the hardships she endures during pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and upbringing are beyond description. Allah Almighty has said:
وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا ۖ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ كُرْهًا وَوَضَعَتْهُ كُرْهًا ۖ وَحَمْلُهُ وَفِصَالُهُ ثَلَاثُونَ شَهْرًا
"We have enjoined upon man (kindness) to his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship. His gestation and weaning is thirty months."
Reference: (Surah Al-Ahqaf: 15)
A person asked the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him):
من أحق الناس بحسن صحابتي؟ قال أمك، قال ثم من؟ قال أمك، قال ثم من؟ قال أمك، قال ثم من؟ قال أبوك
"Among the people, who deserves my best companionship?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Your mother." He asked: "Then who?" He said: "Your mother." He asked: "Then who?" He said: "Your mother." He asked: "Then who?" He said: "Your father."
Reference: Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter: Who is Most Deserving of Good Company, Hadith: 5971; Muslim, Book of Virtue and Maintaining Ties, Chapter: Dutifulness to Parents, Hadith: 2548
The Prophet (peace be upon him) declared ill-treatment of parents as the greatest major sin after associating partners with Allah (shirk). The authentic hadith states:
ألا أنبئكم بأكبر الكبائر ثلاثا - قالوا بلى يا رسول الله قال : الإشراك بالله وعقوق الوالدين وكان متكئا فجلس فقال : ألا وقول الزور وشهادة الزور
"Shall I not inform you of the greatest of major sins?" The Prophet (peace be upon him) repeated this three times. The companions said: "Yes, O Messenger of Allah!" He said: "Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents." The Prophet (peace be upon him) was leaning and then sat up and said: "Listen! False speech and false testimony as well."
Reference: Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter: Rights of Parents Among Major Sins, Hadith: 5977; Muslim, Book of Faith, Chapter: Major Sins and the Greatest of Them, Hadith: 87
He also said:
كل الذنوب يؤخر الله منها ما شاء إلى يوم القيامة إلا عقوق الوالدين فإن الله يعجله لصاحبه فى الحياة قبل الممات
"Allah defers the sins He wills until the Day of Resurrection, except for severing ties with parents, for which Allah recompenses in this life before death."
Reference: Mustadrak Hakim: 4/156, its chain is weak due to Bakar bin Abdul Aziz, who is weak, as stated by Al-Dhahabi
When parents reach old age, the Prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized treating them well because at that time they become weak and relatively require more care than in their youth. The Holy Quran has guided:
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا ۚ إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا 23 وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا
"Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. If one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of disrespect, nor repel them, but speak to them a noble word. And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy, and say: 'My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.'"
Reference: (Surah Al-Isra: 23-24)
Cursing Parents is Among Major Sins
Causing others to curse or blame one's parents, meaning being the reason for it, is not only forbidden but also a major sin. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
إن من أكبر الكبائر أن يلعن الرجل والديه فاستغرب القوم أن يلعن رجل عاقل مؤمن والديه وهما سبب حياته، فقالوا وكيف يلعن الرجل والديه؟ قال يسب الرجل أبا الرجل فيسب أباه ويسب أمه فيسب أمه
"The greatest sin among major sins is that a person curses his own parents. People were astonished and asked how a wise believer could curse his own parents when he received life through them! He replied: A person curses another's father, and in response, that person curses his father; he curses another's mother, and in response, that person curses his mother."
Reference: Bukhari, Book of Manners, Chapter: One Should Not Curse His Parents, Hadith: 5973 - Muslim, Book of Faith, Chapter: Major Sins and the Greatest of Them, Hadith: 90
So imagine the consequence of the sin of a person who himself curses his own parents!
Going for Jihad Without Parents' Permission
Since Islam greatly desires the consent of parents, it has prohibited going out for jihad (such as an important duty) without the permission of parents, especially when jihad is voluntary and not an obligatory duty. Although in Islam, the status of jihad in the way of Allah is so high that neither a whole night of worship nor a whole day of fasting can be its substitute. Abdullah bin Amr bin As (may Allah be pleased with them) said:
جاء رجل إلى نبي الله صلى الله عليه وسلم فاستأذنه فى الجهاد فقال أحي والداك؟ قال نعم قال ففيهما فجاهد
"A person came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and asked for permission to go for jihad. The Prophet (peace be upon him) inquired: Are your parents alive? He replied: Yes! He said: Then strive in jihad with them."
Reference: Bukhari, Book of Jihad, Chapter: Jihad with the permission of parents, Hadith: 3004 - Muslim, Book of Virtue and Maintaining Ties, Chapter: Kindness to Parents, Hadith: 2549
Meaning, make serving and treating your parents well your field of jihad. Similarly, a person who came to pledge allegiance for migration and jihad, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
أفتبتغي الأجر من الله؟ قال نعم قال فارجع إلى والديك فأحسن صحبتهما
"Do you seek reward from Allah? He said: Yes! He said: Then return to your parents and serve them well."
Reference: Muslim, same reference, Hadith: 2549/6
Another person came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: I have come to pledge allegiance for migration, and I left my parents in a state where they were crying. He said:
ارجع إليهما فأضحكهما كما أبكيتهما
"Return to your parents and make them laugh as you made them cry."
Reference: Abu Dawood, Book of Jihad, Chapter: A man goes for battle while his parents dislike it, Hadith: 2528 - Nasai, Book of Allegiance, Chapter: Allegiance on Migration, Hadith: 4168 - Ibn Majah, Book of Jihad, Chapter: A man goes for battle while his parents dislike it, Hadith: 2782
Similarly, a person migrated from Yemen and came to the Prophet (peace be upon him), who asked him if he had come with the permission of his parents. When he replied in the negative, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
فارجع إليهما فاستأذنهما فإن أذنا لك فجاهد وإلا فبرهما
"Return to them and seek their permission. If they permit, then perform jihad; otherwise, remain in their service."
Reference: Abu Dawood, Book of Jihad, Chapter: A man goes for battle while his parents dislike it, Hadith: 2530
Polytheist Parents
Islam has given very high teachings regarding parents and has declared mistreatment of them absolutely forbidden. Even if the parents are polytheists or disbelievers and pressure their son to turn away from Islam by promoting shirk, still it is not permissible to mistreat them in any way. The Divine command is:
أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِي وَلِوَالِدَيْكَ إِلَيَّ الْمَصِيرُ 14 وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا ۖ وَاتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَيَّ ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
"Be grateful to Me and to your parents. To Me is the final return. And if they pressure you to associate with Me something of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, but treat them kindly in this world. And follow the way of the one who turns to Me. Then to Me you will all return, and I will inform you about what you used to do."
Reference: (Surah Luqman: 14-15)
In these verses, Muslims are instructed not to obey their parents in matters of shirk, because obedience to creation is not permissible in disobedience to the Creator, and what sin can be greater than shirk? However, they are commanded to treat their parents well in worldly matters, so that no Muslim is influenced by their parents' opinion in matters of faith, but rather follows the path of the righteous believers and leaves the decision of the religious difference between him and his parents to the Most Just of Judges for the Day when neither father nor son will benefit each other.
You will not find an example of such high teaching of tolerance in any religion in the world!
