Rights and Responsibilities of Husband and Wife in Islam

Source: Sermons of Ḥāfiẓ Muḥammad Isḥāq Zāhid
Compiled by: Tawheed.com

In the previous Friday sermon, the importance of nikāḥ, its benefits, and some principles of a successful marital life were explained. It was clarified that the success of spouses lies in fulfilling one another’s rights and that neither should deprive the other of their due rights. It was also mentioned that rights are of three types:

① Mutual rights
② Rights of the husband over the wife
③ Rights of the wife over the husband

The mutual rights have already been discussed. Now, the remaining two categories are explained.

Rights of the Husband Over the Wife​

1) Serving the Husband​

According to custom and tradition, serving the husband is a right of the husband over the wife. It is narrated from Ḥaḍrat Ḥuṣayn bin Muḥṣin رضي الله عنه that his paternal aunt came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. When she had finished, the Prophet ﷺ asked her: “Do you have a husband?” She replied: “Yes.” He ﷺ asked: “How do you treat him?” She said: “I serve him in every way, except when I become incapable.” The Prophet ﷺ then said:

(( فَانْظُرِیْ أَیْنَ أَنْتِ مِنْہُ،فَإِنَّمَا ہُوَ جَنَّتُکِ وَنَارُکِ ))

Reference: Aḥmad: 6/341; al-Ḥumaydī: 355; al-Ṭabarānī al-Kabīr: 25/183; al-Ḥākim: 2/189; authenticated by al-Albānī in Ādāb az-Zifāf, p.118

Translation:
“Look carefully at where you stand with regard to your husband, for indeed he is your Paradise and your Hell.”

Meaning: if a woman fulfills her husband’s service and rights, it becomes a means for her entry into Paradise; if she is negligent, there is a severe warning.

Example of the Female Companions​

The righteous women of the early Ummah did not neglect serving their husbands. Ḥaḍrat Fāṭimah رضي الله عنها (daughter of the Prophet ﷺ) used to serve Ḥaḍrat ʿAlī رضي الله عنه. She worked so hard in household chores that grinding grain caused blisters on her hands. When captives arrived, she came to ask for a servant, but the Prophet ﷺ was not at home. Later, he ﷺ came and said:

“Shall I not inform you of something better than a servant? When you go to bed, recite Allāhu Akbar 34 times, SubḥānAllāh 33 times, and al-Ḥamdu lillāh 33 times. This is better for you than a servant.”

Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī: 3113, 3705; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: 2727

Likewise, Ḥaḍrat Asmāʾ bint Abī Bakr رضي الله عنها narrated that Ḥaḍrat Zubayr رضي الله عنه had no property or servant—only a camel and a horse. She used to feed the horse, bring water on the camel, mend the bucket, knead the dough, and collect date-stones from land about two miles away, carrying them on her head.

Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī: 5224; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: 2182

These were great female Companions, yet they served their husbands. Therefore, today’s women—no matter how noble or wealthy—are not superior to them and should adopt an attitude of service and cooperation.

2) Obedience to the Husband​

The second right of the husband is that the wife should obey him and not be disobedient. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:

(( إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَۃُ خَمْسَہَا،وَصَامَتْ شَہْرَہَا،وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَہَا،وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَہَا،قِیْلَ لَہَا: ادْخُلِیْ الْجَنَّۃَ مِنْ أَیِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّۃِ شِئْتِ ))

Reference: Aḥmad: 1/191; al-Ṭabarānī al-Awsaṭ: 8805; authenticated by al-Albānī in Ādāb az-Zifāf, p.120

Translation:
“When a woman performs her five prayers, fasts her month (Ramaḍān), guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will be told: ‘Enter Paradise from whichever gate you wish.’”

Regarding the best of women, he ﷺ said:

(( اَلَّتِیْ تَسُرُّہُ إِذَا نَظَرَ،وَتُطِیْعُہُ إِذَا أَمَرَ،وَلَا تُخَالِفُہُ فِیْ نَفْسِہَا وَمَالِہَا بِمَا یَکْرَہُ ))

Reference: an-Nasāʾī: 3231; authenticated by al-Albānī in al-Ṣaḥīḥah: 1838

Translation:
“The woman who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and does not oppose him regarding herself or her wealth in matters he dislikes.”

And a severe warning regarding disobedience:

(( اِثْنَانِ لَا تُجَاوِزُ صَلَاتُہُمَا رُؤُوْسَہُمَا… وَامْرَأَۃٌ عَصَتْ زَوْجَہَا حَتّٰی تَرْجِعَ ))

Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ at-Targhīb wa at-Tarhīb (al-Albānī): 1948

Translation:
“There are two whose prayers do not rise above their heads… and a woman who disobeys her husband until she returns (to obedience).”

Important Principle: No Obedience in Sin​

(( لَا طَاعَۃَ لِأَحَدٍ فِیْ مَعْصِیَۃِ اللّٰہِ،إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَۃُ فِیْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ ))

Reference: Agreed upon

Translation:
“There is no obedience to anyone in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in what is good.”

3) Not Observing Voluntary Fasts Without His Permission​

(( لَا یَحِلُّ لِلْمَرْأَۃِ أَنْ تَصُوْمَ وَزَوْجُہَا شَاہِدٌ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِہٖ ))

Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī: 5195; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: 1026

Translation:
“It is not permissible for a woman to fast (voluntarily) while her husband is present except with his permission.”

4) Protecting the Husband’s Wealth​

(( لَا تُنْفِقِ الْمَرْأَۃُ شَیْئًا مِنْ بَیْتِ زَوْجِہَا إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ زَوْجِہَا… ))

Reference: Aḥmad: 5/267; at-Tirmidhī: 670; Ibn Mājah: 2295; authenticated by al-Albānī: 1873

Translation:
“A woman should not spend anything from her husband’s house except with his permission.”

5) Not Allowing Anyone Into the House Without His Permission​

(( …وَلَا تَأْذَنَّ فِیْ بَیْتِہٖ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِہٖ ))

Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī: 5195; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: 1026

And he ﷺ said:

(( …فَأَمَّا حَقُّکُمْ عَلٰی نِسَائِکُمْ… ))

Reference: at-Tirmidhī: 1163; Ibn Mājah: 1851 – Ḥasan Ṣaḥīḥ

Translation:
“Your right over your wives is that they should not allow onto your beds those whom you dislike, and they should not allow into your houses those whom you dislike.”

6) Showing Gratitude to the Husband​

(( لَا یَنْظُرُ اللّٰہُ… إِلَی امْرَأَۃٍ لَا تَشْکُرُ لِزَوْجِہَا ))

Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ at-Targhīb wa at-Tarhīb (al-Albānī): 1944; al-Ṣaḥīḥah: 289

Translation:
“Allah does not look (with mercy) at a woman who is ungrateful to her husband, while she is in need of him.”

The Prophet ﷺ also said:

(( لَا یَصْلُحُ لِبَشَرٍ أَنْ یَّسْجُدَ لِبَشَرٍ… ))

Reference: Aḥmad; al-Bazzār; Ṣaḥīḥ at-Targhīb wa at-Tarhīb: 1936

Translation:
“It is not permissible for a human to prostrate to another human; and if it were permissible, I would have commanded a woman to prostrate to her husband due to his immense right over her.”

Rights of the Wife Over the Husband​

After mentioning the rights of the husband over the wife, the rights that are obligatory upon the husband toward the wife are explained, as the Sharīʿah has set rights and duties on both sides to protect the household from oppression and imbalance.

1) Dower (Mahr)​

The first right of the wife is that the husband must pay her mahr. Allah Almighty says:

﴿ وَآتُوا النِّسَائَ صَدُقَاتِہِنَّ نِحْلَۃً ﴾

Reference: an-Nisāʾ 4:4

Translation:
“And give the women their dowers graciously…”

Refusing to pay mahr or forcing its waiver is a grave crime and oppression.

The Prophet ﷺ said:

(( أَیُّمَا رَجُلٍ تَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَۃً… ))

Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ at-Targhīb wa at-Tarhīb (al-Albānī): 1807

Translation:
“Any man who marries a woman with a mahr, small or large, while having no intention of paying her right has deceived her. If he dies without paying it, he will meet Allah on the Day of Judgment as an adulterer.”

2) Maintenance and Residence​

The husband must provide food, clothing, and residence according to his means and custom.

(( وَلَہُنَّ عَلَیْکُمْ رِزْقُہُنَّ وَکِسْوَتُہُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ ))

Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: 1218

Translation:
“And they have a right over you that you provide them food and clothing according to custom.”

3) Living With Kindness​

﴿ وَعَاشِرُوہُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ﴾

Reference: an-Nisāʾ 4:19

Translation:
“Live with them in kindness…”

Right of Khulʿ​

If a wife cannot continue due to valid Sharʿī reasons, she may seek khulʿ by returning the mahr.

﴿ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَیْْہِمَا فِیْمَا افْتَدَتْ بِہِ ﴾

Reference: al-Baqarah 2:229

Conclusion​

Islam has established a balanced distribution of rights and duties between husband and wife, making the home a center of peace, love, and justice. If spouses act upon these teachings, domestic conflicts decrease, trust increases, and marital life is filled with blessings. May Allah grant us the ability to act upon the teachings of the true religion. Āmīn.