⫷ A Shining Example of Women’s Rights in Islam: The Appeal of Khawlah bint Tha‘labah ⫸
Among the pre-Islamic Arabs, there was a deeply entrenched custom known as Ẓihār, wherein a man, in a moment of anger, would say to his wife:
"أنتِ عليّ كظهر أمي"
(“You are to me like my mother’s back.”)
These words were understood to mean that the wife had become unlawful for him, similar to a divorce.
In Madinah, a Muslim man, Aws ibn al-Ṣāmit (RA), once uttered these words to his wife Khawlah bint Thaʿlabah (RA) in a moment of anger. As per the prevailing understanding, it was assumed that Khawlah had become forbidden for him.
Since they had several children, this sudden separation greatly distressed her. In her sorrow, she immediately went to the Prophet ﷺ to seek a solution.
Khawlah (RA) presented her case to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, explaining the situation.
At that time, no divine ruling had yet been revealed concerning Ẓihār, so the general understanding based on tradition was that this equated to divorce.
The Prophet ﷺ initially said:
“It is divorce.”
Khawlah (RA), weeping, said:
“O Messenger of Allah! What will become of my children?”
“I am an elderly woman, where will I go?”
“I love my husband—I cannot bear to be separated from him!”
With great humility and desperation, she continued to plead, but the Prophet ﷺ explained that he could not issue a new ruling unless and until Allah revealed guidance.
Seeing no apparent hope from the Prophet ﷺ, Khawlah (RA) sat down right there and turned to Allah in earnest supplication:
“O Allah! I present my grief to You. The pain of separation from my husband is unbearable. Only You can help me.”
ʿĀ’ishah (RA) narrates that the sincerity and pain in Khawlah’s duʿā moved them to tears.
Soon after, the state of divine revelation overtook the Prophet ﷺ. Khawlah (RA) stood by, anxious, between hope and despair.
When the revelation ended, the Prophet ﷺ turned to her and said:
“Khawlah! Allah has revealed a ruling concerning your case!”
Sūrat al-Mujādilah was revealed, beginning with the verse:
"قَدْ سَمِعَ اللَّهُ قَوْلَ الَّتِي تُجَادِلُكَ فِي زَوْجِهَا وَتَشْتَكِي إِلَى اللَّهِ"
“Indeed, Allah has heard the statement of the woman who argues with you concerning her husband and complains to Allah…”
(Sūrat al-Mujādilah: 1)
In this revelation, Ẓihār was not equated with divorce, but it was declared unlawful, and the husband was obliged to offer a specific expiation (kaffārah).
During the caliphate of ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb (RA), he was once walking through the market with his companions when an elderly woman approached him, leaning on her cane, and called out:
“ʿUmar! Listen to me.”
ʿUmar (RA) immediately halted. The old woman said:
“Once, you herded goats in the market of ʿUkāẓ. People used to call you ʿUmayr. Then you became ʿUmar. Now you are Amīr al-Mu’minīn. But remember, fear Allah regarding the people under your care.”
“One who fears Allah, even distant people become dear to him. One who does not fear death, loses that which he strives to gain.”
Some companions objected, saying, “Who is she to speak to the Amīr al-Mu’minīn in this manner?”
ʿUmar (RA) silenced them, saying:
“Do you know who this is? This is Khawlah bint Thaʿlabah—the woman whose plea was heard above the heavens. By Allah! If she kept me standing here till nightfall, I would remain standing.”
This profound incident is a brilliant example of justice and the protection of women’s rights in Islam. A distressed woman’s plea was not only heard by the Prophet ﷺ, but also reverberated through the heavens, prompting the revelation of a Qur’anic command.
Islam does not marginalize women—it honors their voice, safeguards their dignity, and responds to their concerns with divine care.
◈ The Pre-Islamic Custom of Ẓihār and Its Abolition
Among the pre-Islamic Arabs, there was a deeply entrenched custom known as Ẓihār, wherein a man, in a moment of anger, would say to his wife:
"أنتِ عليّ كظهر أمي"
(“You are to me like my mother’s back.”)
These words were understood to mean that the wife had become unlawful for him, similar to a divorce.
◈ The Incident of Aws ibn al-Ṣāmit in Madinah
In Madinah, a Muslim man, Aws ibn al-Ṣāmit (RA), once uttered these words to his wife Khawlah bint Thaʿlabah (RA) in a moment of anger. As per the prevailing understanding, it was assumed that Khawlah had become forbidden for him.
Since they had several children, this sudden separation greatly distressed her. In her sorrow, she immediately went to the Prophet ﷺ to seek a solution.
◈ The Cry of Khawlah bint Thaʿlabah (RA)
Khawlah (RA) presented her case to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, explaining the situation.
At that time, no divine ruling had yet been revealed concerning Ẓihār, so the general understanding based on tradition was that this equated to divorce.
The Prophet ﷺ initially said:
“It is divorce.”
Khawlah (RA), weeping, said:
“O Messenger of Allah! What will become of my children?”
“I am an elderly woman, where will I go?”
“I love my husband—I cannot bear to be separated from him!”
With great humility and desperation, she continued to plead, but the Prophet ﷺ explained that he could not issue a new ruling unless and until Allah revealed guidance.
◈ Khawlah’s Duʿā to Allah
Seeing no apparent hope from the Prophet ﷺ, Khawlah (RA) sat down right there and turned to Allah in earnest supplication:
“O Allah! I present my grief to You. The pain of separation from my husband is unbearable. Only You can help me.”
ʿĀ’ishah (RA) narrates that the sincerity and pain in Khawlah’s duʿā moved them to tears.
◈ Revelation of Sūrat al-Mujādilah
Soon after, the state of divine revelation overtook the Prophet ﷺ. Khawlah (RA) stood by, anxious, between hope and despair.
When the revelation ended, the Prophet ﷺ turned to her and said:
“Khawlah! Allah has revealed a ruling concerning your case!”
Sūrat al-Mujādilah was revealed, beginning with the verse:
"قَدْ سَمِعَ اللَّهُ قَوْلَ الَّتِي تُجَادِلُكَ فِي زَوْجِهَا وَتَشْتَكِي إِلَى اللَّهِ"
“Indeed, Allah has heard the statement of the woman who argues with you concerning her husband and complains to Allah…”
(Sūrat al-Mujādilah: 1)
In this revelation, Ẓihār was not equated with divorce, but it was declared unlawful, and the husband was obliged to offer a specific expiation (kaffārah).
◈ ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb (RA) and His Respect for Khawlah (RA)
During the caliphate of ʿUmar ibn al-Khaṭṭāb (RA), he was once walking through the market with his companions when an elderly woman approached him, leaning on her cane, and called out:
“ʿUmar! Listen to me.”
ʿUmar (RA) immediately halted. The old woman said:
“Once, you herded goats in the market of ʿUkāẓ. People used to call you ʿUmayr. Then you became ʿUmar. Now you are Amīr al-Mu’minīn. But remember, fear Allah regarding the people under your care.”
“One who fears Allah, even distant people become dear to him. One who does not fear death, loses that which he strives to gain.”
Some companions objected, saying, “Who is she to speak to the Amīr al-Mu’minīn in this manner?”
ʿUmar (RA) silenced them, saying:
“Do you know who this is? This is Khawlah bint Thaʿlabah—the woman whose plea was heard above the heavens. By Allah! If she kept me standing here till nightfall, I would remain standing.”
◈ Conclusion
This profound incident is a brilliant example of justice and the protection of women’s rights in Islam. A distressed woman’s plea was not only heard by the Prophet ﷺ, but also reverberated through the heavens, prompting the revelation of a Qur’anic command.
Islam does not marginalize women—it honors their voice, safeguards their dignity, and responds to their concerns with divine care.
