This excerpt is taken from Dr. Yusuf al-Qaradawi's book Halal and Haram in Islam, translated into Urdu by Muhammad Tahir Naqqash.
Stopping on a well-known method or leaving it with kindness
When the period of 'iddah (waiting period) is about to be completed after giving divorce, the husband should choose one of the following two options:
◈ Either reconcile in the well-known manner, meaning to retain her with good treatment and the intention of reform, without the intention to fight or cause harm.
◈ Or separate in the well-known manner, meaning to keep her apart until the completion of 'iddah, and after that separate without creating any confusion or causing any harm, and without being stingy in fulfilling her rights.
It is not permissible for the husband, when the 'iddah is about to end, to reconcile with the intention of causing distress and prolonging the 'iddah, thereby depriving the wife of the possibility of marrying another for a long time.
The people of ignorance used to do such acts, but Allah has declared it forbidden to cause such harm to a woman. And this prohibition has been expressed in such a powerful manner that it shakes the heart. He said:
وَإِذَا طَلَّقْتُمُ النِّسَاءَ فَبَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ سَرِّحُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ ۚ وَلَا تُمْسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارًا لِّتَعْتَدُوا ۚ وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُ ۚ وَلَا تَتَّخِذُوا آيَاتِ اللَّهِ هُزُوًا ۚ وَاذْكُرُوا نِعْمَتَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ وَمَا أَنزَلَ عَلَيْكُم مِّنَ الْكِتَابِ وَالْحِكْمَةِ يَعِظُكُم بِهِ ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ
"And when you divorce women and they have fulfilled their term, either retain them in a good manner or release them in a good manner. And do not keep them to cause harm, so that you transgress. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not make Allah's verses a mockery, and remember the favor of Allah upon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book and wisdom by which He instructs you. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Knowing of all things."
Reference: Surah Al-Baqarah: 231
A divorced woman should not be prevented from remarrying according to her own will
When the waiting period (iddah) of a divorced woman is completed, it is not permissible for her former husband, nor for her guardian, nor for any other person to prevent her from marrying someone else according to her own will. And if the fiancé and his fiancée mutually agree in a known and customary manner, no one has the right to object to the woman's inclination in this regard. Some men who have given divorce want to retain their influence over the woman and keep threatening and intimidating her about another marriage. All this is the work of ignorance and barbarism. Similarly, if the woman wants to return to her former husband and both agree on this return in a known manner, it is not permissible for the guardian or family members to create obstacles in this matter.
Allah Almighty says:
وَالصُّلْحُ خَیْرٌ
And reconciliation is better.
Reference: (Surah An-Nisa: 128)
He also said:
وإذا طلقتم النساء فبلغن أجلهن فلا تعضلوهن أن ينكحن أزواجهن إذا تراضوا بينهم بالمعروف
"When you have divorced women and they have completed their waiting period, do not prevent them from marrying their (prospective) husbands if they agree mutually in a known manner."
Reference: (Surah Al-Baqarah: 232)
A Woman's Right When the Husband Does Not Like Her
If a woman does not like her husband and feels that she cannot endure being with him, she can free herself by returning the dower (mahr). She can return more or less the dower, gifts, etc., received from the husband through mutual agreement and free herself from the bond of marriage, but it is better not to take back more than what the husband had given. The Divine command is:
فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا افْتَدَتْ بِهِ
"If you fear that you will not be able to keep within the limits prescribed by Allah, there is no sin on either of them if the woman gives compensation (fidyah) to obtain a divorce."
Reference: (Surah Al-Baqarah: 229)
In a hadith it is stated:
وقد جاءت امرأة ثابت بن قيس إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وقالت يا رسول الله ثابت بن قيس ما أعيب عليه فى خلق ولا دين ولكني لا أطيقه بغضا فسألها عما أخذت منه فقالت حديقة فقال لها أتردين عليه حديقته؟ قالت نعم فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم لثابت اقبل الحديقة وطلقها تطليقة
"The wife of Thabit bin Qais (may Allah be pleased with him) came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allah! I do not find any fault in the character or religion of Thabit bin Qais, but I do not like him. The Prophet (peace be upon him) asked: What do you have to give in exchange? She said: A garden. He said: Are you willing to return the garden? She said: Yes. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said to Thabit bin Qais: Take back your garden and give her a divorce."
Reference: Bukhari, Book of Divorce, Chapter on Khula: 5273
It is forbidden for a wife to hastily ask for divorce from her husband when she is neither suffering any harm from him nor has any reasonable cause to seek separation.
The Prophet’s (peace be upon him) statement is:
أيما امرأة سألت زوجها الطلاق من غير ما بأس فحرام عليها رائحة الجنة
"A woman who asks her husband for divorce without any harm coming to her from him is forbidden the fragrance of Paradise."
Reference: Abu Dawood, Book of Divorce, Chapter on Khula, Hadith: 2226; Tirmidhi, Book of Divorce, Chapter on Khula, Hadith: 1187; Ibn Majah, Book of Divorce, Chapter on Disliking Khula for Women, Hadith: 2055
It is forbidden to harass the wife
Harassing the wife and treating her badly (with the intention) so that she is forced to give compensation (expenses, etc.) to get rid of the marriage is absolutely not permissible unless she commits open immorality. In this regard, Allah Almighty has said:
وَلَا تَعْضُلُوهُنَّ لِتَذْهَبُوا بِبَعْضِ مَا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ إِلَّا أَن يَأْتِينَ بِفَاحِشَةٍ مُّبَيِّنَةٍ
“Do not harm your wives in order to take back part of what you have given them, unless they commit a clear immorality.”
Reference: (Surah An-Nisa: 19)
And if the husband does not like the wife and wishes to separate from her and marry another, in such a case it is not permissible to take anything back from the wife. Allah, Glorified and Exalted, says:
وَإِنْ أَرَدتُّمُ اسْتِبْدَالَ زَوْجٍ مَّكَانَ زَوْجٍ وَآتَيْتُمْ إِحْدَاهُنَّ قِنطَارًا فَلَا تَأْخُذُوا مِنْهُ شَيْئًا ۚ أَتَأْخُذُونَهُ بُهْتَانًا وَإِثْمًا مُّبِينًا
“And if you intend to replace one wife with another and you have given one a great amount [in dowry], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?”
Reference: (Surah An-Nisa: 20)
Swearing an oath to leave the wife is forbidden
Islam has given great consideration to the rights of women. A shining example of this is that it has made it forbidden for a husband, out of anger, to separate from his wife in the bedroom for such a long period that the woman cannot bear it. When a husband swears to stay away from his wife, he is given a grace period of four months. It is possible that during this period his anger may subside and he may change his mind. If he resumes relations with his wife before the four months pass, Allah will forgive the sin he committed and will open a wide door for the acceptance of his repentance. In such a case, it is obligatory for him to pay the expiation for the oath. But if this period passes and he does not change his intention and does not break the oath, then his wife will be divorced from him. This is the exact recompense for neglecting the rights of the wife.
According to some jurists, the passing of the mentioned period results in a divorce. There is no need to wait for the decision of a judge or ruler.
And some jurists consider it necessary to present the matter before the ruler after the period has passed. The ruler will give him the opportunity to choose one of two options: either to reconsider his intention and reconcile with his wife or to give a divorce. He should choose whichever seems better to him.
This oath of not approaching the wife is called 'Ila' in Islamic terminology. Allah Almighty has said about it:
لِّلَّذِينَ يُؤْلُونَ مِن نِّسَائِهِمْ تَرَبُّصُ أَرْبَعَةِ أَشْهُرٍ ۖ فَإِن فَاءُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ 226 وَإِنْ عَزَمُوا الطَّلَاقَ فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ سَمِيعٌ عَلِيمٌ
"Those who swear not to have relations with their wives shall wait for four months; and if they return, then indeed Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. But if they decide on divorce, then indeed Allah is Hearing and Knowing."
Reference: (Surah Al-Baqarah: 226-227)
The four-month grace period is given so that the husband has a full opportunity to reconsider and act wisely. A woman can bear her husband's absence for a maximum of this period.
In this regard, the commentators have narrated the story of Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) that one night when he went out for reconnaissance, he heard the voice of a woman whose husband had gone for jihad. Affected by his absence, she was restlessly reciting poetry:
The night has become long and darkness has spread everywhere. And this thought makes me cry that my beloved is not with me so that I may play with him. By Allah, if it were not for the fear of Allah's punishment, the legs of this cot would move.
Upon hearing her condition, Sayyiduna Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) asked his daughter Sayyida Hafsa (may Allah be pleased with her) how long a woman can bear her husband's absence. She said: Four months! At that time, the Commander of the Faithful decided: No one should be kept away from his wife for more than four months.
Reference: Tafsir Ibn Kathir p. 180 with reference to Muwatta Imam Malik and Muhammad bin Ishaq and also see Futooh al-Buldan p. 148
