Authored by: Imran Ayub Lahori❖ Marriage Proposal Sent to the Girl’s Guardian
When a girl is minor, the proposal for marriage should be sent to her guardian (walī).
As narrated by ʿUrwah رضي الله عنه:
"The Prophet ﷺ proposed to Abū Bakr رضي الله عنه for the marriage of ʿĀ’ishah رضي الله عنها."
(Bukhārī: 5081, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ, Bāb Tazwīj al-Ṣighār min al-Kibār)
❖ Silent Consent of a Virgin Girl
As mentioned in one narration:
"Her permission is her silence."
This indicates that the consent of a virgin girl is understood through her silence.
❖ Proposing During ‘Iddah Is Prohibited
① When Fāṭimah bint Qays رضي الله عنها was divorced three times by her husband, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ did not assign her a place of residence or maintenance. He said:
"When your waiting period (‘iddah) ends, inform me."
(Abū Dāwūd: 2284, Kitāb al-Ṭalāq; Muwaṭṭā: 2/580; Muslim: 1480; Nasā’ī: 6/75; Bayhaqī: 7/180; Ibn al-Jārūd: 760; Sharḥ Maʿānī al-Āthār: 653)
Although some attempt to derive evidence for this issue from this ḥadīth, it does not contain any explicit proof regarding the permissibility of proposing during ʿiddah.
② On the verse:
"فِيْمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاءِ"
(Al-Baqarah: 235)
Ibn ʿAbbās رضي الله عنهما interpreted it as:
If a man says to a woman in ʿiddah, “I have the intention of marriage,” or “I hope to be blessed with a righteous wife,” it is allowed.
(Bukhārī: 5124, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ)
Based on this, Imām Bukhārī رحمه الله titled a chapter explaining Allah’s command that hinting at a marriage proposal during ʿiddah is not sinful, while explicit proposals are impermissible.
Shawkānī رحمه الله summarized:
Sending a clear marriage proposal to a woman during her ʿiddah is ḥarām (prohibited).
(Nayl al-Awṭār: 4/183)
Imām al-Shāfiʿī رحمه الله added:
It is impermissible to even hint at a proposal to a woman during the ʿiddah of a revocable divorce.
(Also referenced)
For a widowed woman, indirect proposals are allowed, and for a woman in irrevocable divorce, scholars differ — some permit indirect hints, while others do not.
(Fatḥ al-Bārī: 9/179; Tafsīr al-Lubāb fī ʿUlūm al-Kitāb: 4/200)
❖ Prohibition of Proposing Over Another’s Proposal
① Narrated by Abū Hurayrah رضي الله عنه:
"A man should not propose over the proposal of his brother until he marries or leaves."
(Bukhārī: 5144, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ; Nasā’ī: 6/73; Aḥmad: 2/462; Ḥumaydī: 1027; Bayhaqī: 7/180; Sharḥ Maʿānī al-Āthār: 3/4)
② Narrated by Ibn ʿUmar رضي الله عنهما:
"None of you should propose over the proposal of his brother:
until the proposer before him withdraws or gives permission."
(Bukhārī: 5142; Aḥmad: 2/42; Nasā’ī: 6/73)
The majority of scholars, including al-Nawawī رحمه الله, state:
These aḥādīth indicate a prohibition that implies impermissibility (taḥrīm).
(Nayl al-Awṭār: 4/80; Fatḥ al-Bārī: 10/250; Sharḥ Muslim: 5/214)
Summary of Rulings:
❖ For minor girls, the guardian should be addressed for the marriage proposal.
❖ A virgin girl’s consent is implied through silence.
❖ Clear marriage proposals during any form of ʿiddah are prohibited.
❖ Indirect hints are only permissible in the ʿiddah of death, and disputed in irrevocable divorce.
❖ Proposing over someone else's ongoing proposal is ḥarām, unless the first proposer withdraws or gives consent.
