Mannerisms of discussions

[Servant of Allah]

What is the mannerisms in which the messanger of Allah(ﷺ), Sahaba & the salaf would discuss, argue or debate different matters

Please provide evidences

 

[طالب العلم]

The Prophet ﷺ and the Sahaba engaged in respectful, patient, and humble discussions, emphasizing kindness and truth, as seen in numerous hadiths like the Prophet’s saying, “The best of you are those who are best in character” (Bukhari).

بارك الله فيكم
For the answer akhi but I think it's best to leave it for the supervisors & those who answer the questions here to answer as they can probably provide much more detailed answers which is more beneficial to the questioner & the rest of the readers

 

[Danial]

1. The Qur'an on Mannerisms of Discussion

1. Speak with justice and truth

Allah says:

﴿ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامِينَ لِلَّهِ شُهَدَاءَ بِالْقِسْطِ ﴾
O you who believe, stand firm for Allah as witnesses in justice.

Reference: Quran: Surah Al-Maidah 5:8

This includes discussions, debates, scholarly disagreements, and the duty to be fair even with opponents.

2. Do not argue arrogantly

Allah says:

﴿ وَلَا تُجَادِلُوا أَهْلَ الْكِتَابِ إِلَّا بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ ﴾
Do not argue with the People of the Book except in a manner that is best.

Reference: Quran: Surah Al-Ankabut 29:46

If this is with Ahl al-Kitab, then between Muslims it is even more emphasized.

3. Speak gently, even when correcting

Allah told Musa and Harun:

﴿ فَقُولَا لَهُ قَوْلًا لَيِّنًا ﴾
And say to him a gentle word.

Reference: Quran: Surah Ta-Ha 20:44

If gentleness was commanded with Pharaoh, then it is far more required among Muslims debating matters of religion.

2. The Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ in Debates and Discussions

1. His speech was calm, clear, and measured

Hudhayfah said:

"ما خَطَبَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ خُطْبَةً إِلَّا فَهِمْنَاهَا"
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ never addressed us except that we understood him.

Reference: Sahih Muslim: 869

This shows clarity, avoidance of confusion, and structured reasoning.

2. He forbade unnecessary argument

The Prophet ﷺ said:

"أبغضُ الرجالِ إلى اللهِ الألدُّ الخصِمُ"
The most hated man to Allah is the severe, quarrelsome arguer.

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari: 2457

This condemns argumentative behavior, not sincere clarification based on truth.

3. He promised a house in Jannah for leaving argument

The Prophet ﷺ said:

"أنا زعيمٌ ببيتٍ في ربَضِ الجنةِ لِمَن تركَ المِراءَ وإن كانَ مُحقًا"
I guarantee a house in the outskirts of Paradise for one who abandons argument even when he is right.

Reference: Sunan Abi Dawud: 4800

Meaning: avoid argumentation that leads to pride or hostility.

4. He debated using evidence, not emotion

When he debated the Christians of Najran, Allah revealed the command:

﴿ فَقُلْ تَعَالَوْا نَدْعُ أَبْنَاءَنَا... ﴾
Say: Come, let us call our sons...

Reference: Quran: Al-Imran 3:61

This demonstrates:
evidence
clarity
avoidance of futile argument
stopping debate when the opponent refuses truth

Example of How the Sahabah Differed, With Manners and Sincerity

One of the clearest examples showing the noble manner in which the Sahabah differed is the well-known incident of Banu Qurayzah.

The Hadith

Ibn Umar رضي الله عنهما narrated:

The Prophet ﷺ said on the day he returned from al-Ahzab:
"None of you should pray Asr except in Banu Qurayzah."

Some of them were overtaken by the time of Asr while still on the way.

Some said: “We will not pray until we reach it.”

Others said: “We will pray now, because that is not what the Prophet intended.”

When this was mentioned to the Prophet ﷺ, he did not rebuke any of them.

Reference: Sahih al-Bukhari: 946 • Sahih Muslim: 1770

Explanation

When the Prophet ﷺ returned from the Battle of al-Ahzab in the 5th year after Hijrah, Allah revealed that Banu Qurayzah must be fought, because they had committed treachery and supported the idolaters.

The Prophet ﷺ immediately commanded his Companions to march without delay, and he said:

“Do not pray Asr except in Banu Qurayzah.”

They rushed out with hardship and exhaustion, fully obeying the order.

Two Understandings Emerged

A group feared missing the time, so they prayed before reaching Banu Qurayzah.

Another group feared disobeying the literal wording, so they did not pray until they arrived, which was after the time had passed.

When they informed the Messenger of Allah ﷺ of what they had done:

✔ He did not criticise either group
✔ He affirmed both forms of ijtihad
✔ He accepted both efforts as sincere obedience

What This Teaches About the Sahabah’s Manners in Disagreement

1. Their disagreement was pure and free from ego

Both sides only intended to obey Allah and His Messenger ﷺ.

They differed in understanding, not in obedience.

This is why the Prophet ﷺ did not blame either side.

2. Legitimate ijtihad is praiseworthy

Those who delayed the prayer adhered to the literal text and refused to interpret it.

Those who prayed on the road understood the intended meaning and prioritised praying Asr within its time.

Both positions were rooted in sincere ijtihad.