Author: Shaykh Abdus-Salam bin Muhammad (Hafizahullah)
References: [Bukhari 6077], [Muslim, Al-Birr wa As-Silah 35], also see [Tuhfat Al-Ashraf 3/98].
The hadith clearly indicates that severing communication with a fellow Muslim for more than three days is haram (forbidden). When a person stops speaking to another, they essentially disregard the rights that each has over the other, such as exchanging greetings, accepting invitations, visiting the sick, responding to sneezes, etc.
➋ The Allowance of Three Days of Silence:
Breaking off communication for up to three days is permitted because anger and resentment are natural human emotions. This allowance aims to provide time for reflection and cooling down—on the first day, one calms their initial anger; on the second day, they may reflect on the situation; and on the third day, they may reconcile. Typically, anger diminishes or subsides within three days. Extending the period of severance beyond three days can lead to neglecting mutual rights.
➌ Ending the Prohibition Through Initiating Salaam:
The prohibition against severing ties is lifted when one initiates the greeting of salaam (peace). A narration from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) states that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"It is not permissible for a Muslim to abandon another Muslim for more than three days. If he meets him, he should greet him with peace three times, and if the other does not respond, he returns with his sin." [Abu Dawood 4913]
Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) said that if the silence causes distress to the other brother, merely saying salaam may not suffice to end the severance. Rather, the original relationship should be restored. However, the above hadith suggests that the scenario of prohibition involves both parties meeting but turning away without even offering salaam. Nonetheless, true Islamic brotherhood, as emphasized by faith, is achieved through the full restoration of relationships.
➍ Permissibility of Severing Ties Due to Disobedience to Allah:
It is permissible to sever communication with someone due to their disobedience to Allah. For example, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) instructed the Muslims to avoid speaking with Ka'b bin Malik and his companions due to their failure to join the Battle of Tabuk. This indicates that such severance is intended for sincere believers who are likely to be impacted by the isolation and thus return to the right path. On the other hand, the Prophet (peace be upon him) and the Muslims did not avoid speaking to the disbelievers and hypocrites; with them, severance of ties is from the heart rather than verbally. In contrast, the isolation from sincere Muslims is outward, as they remain bonded in faith and affection at heart.
Hadith Reference:
Hazrat Abu Ayyub (may Allah be pleased with him) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "It is not lawful for a Muslim to abandon his brother for more than three nights. When they meet, each turns away from the other. The better of the two is the one who initiates the greeting of peace." [Bukhari and Muslim]References: [Bukhari 6077], [Muslim, Al-Birr wa As-Silah 35], also see [Tuhfat Al-Ashraf 3/98].
Key Points:
➊ It is Prohibited to Abandon Relations Beyond Three Days:The hadith clearly indicates that severing communication with a fellow Muslim for more than three days is haram (forbidden). When a person stops speaking to another, they essentially disregard the rights that each has over the other, such as exchanging greetings, accepting invitations, visiting the sick, responding to sneezes, etc.
➋ The Allowance of Three Days of Silence:
Breaking off communication for up to three days is permitted because anger and resentment are natural human emotions. This allowance aims to provide time for reflection and cooling down—on the first day, one calms their initial anger; on the second day, they may reflect on the situation; and on the third day, they may reconcile. Typically, anger diminishes or subsides within three days. Extending the period of severance beyond three days can lead to neglecting mutual rights.
➌ Ending the Prohibition Through Initiating Salaam:
The prohibition against severing ties is lifted when one initiates the greeting of salaam (peace). A narration from Aisha (may Allah be pleased with her) states that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"It is not permissible for a Muslim to abandon another Muslim for more than three days. If he meets him, he should greet him with peace three times, and if the other does not respond, he returns with his sin." [Abu Dawood 4913]
Imam Ahmad (may Allah have mercy on him) said that if the silence causes distress to the other brother, merely saying salaam may not suffice to end the severance. Rather, the original relationship should be restored. However, the above hadith suggests that the scenario of prohibition involves both parties meeting but turning away without even offering salaam. Nonetheless, true Islamic brotherhood, as emphasized by faith, is achieved through the full restoration of relationships.
➍ Permissibility of Severing Ties Due to Disobedience to Allah:
It is permissible to sever communication with someone due to their disobedience to Allah. For example, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) instructed the Muslims to avoid speaking with Ka'b bin Malik and his companions due to their failure to join the Battle of Tabuk. This indicates that such severance is intended for sincere believers who are likely to be impacted by the isolation and thus return to the right path. On the other hand, the Prophet (peace be upon him) and the Muslims did not avoid speaking to the disbelievers and hypocrites; with them, severance of ties is from the heart rather than verbally. In contrast, the isolation from sincere Muslims is outward, as they remain bonded in faith and affection at heart.