Ruling on Food Invitations and Condolence Gatherings After a Death
Source: Fatāwā Rāshidiyyah, p. 383
❖ Question
In our society, when a person dies, relatives and friends visit for condolences for many days. To save time, some families send formal invitations after three days, fix a time, and arrange food similar to a wedding feast. Guests gather, eat, and sometimes give money to the bereaved family. What is the ruling on this? Some people say it is impermissible. Please clarify in detail.
❖ Answer
Alḥamdulillāh, waṣ-ṣalātu wa-salāmu ‘alā Rasūlillāh, ammā ba‘d!
Preparing and serving food to people by the family of the deceased, as described in the question, is without doubt haram and impermissible. At such a time of grief, arranging gatherings in the style of weddings is against Sharī‘ah, for neither the Prophet ﷺ nor the Companions practiced such customs.
Considering it necessary or making it a ritual is bid‘ah, and publicizing such invitations is also not permissible. In Sharī‘ah, food invitations (walīmah) are legislated for occasions of joy, not sorrow. On the contrary, the Prophet ﷺ forbade making food on occasions of grief.
Evidences from Hadith
➊ Ibn ‘Abbās رضي الله عنه reported:
((عن عكرمة عن ابن عباس رضى الله عنه أن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم نهى عن طعام المتباريين أن يوكل))
(Abū Dāwūd, Kitāb al-Aṭ‘imah, Bāb fī Ṭa‘ām al-Mutabārayn, Hadith 3753)
➋ Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه reported:
((المتباريان لايجابان طعامهما))
Imam Aḥmad explained: meaning those who host feasts for boasting and showing off.
Summary: If an invitation is for pride, fame, or reputation, such feasts must not be attended.
Athār of the Companions and Sayings of the Scholars
✿ Jarīr ibn ‘Abdillah al-Bajali رضي الله عنه said:
((كنا نعد الاجتماع إلى أهل الميت وصنعة الطعام بعد دفنه من النياحة))
(Musnad Aḥmad)
“We considered gathering at the house of the deceased and preparing food after burial to be part of wailing (niyāḥah).”
✿ In Fatḥ al-Qadīr:
((اتخاذ الطعام من أهل الميت بدعة مستقبحة لأنه شرع في السرور لا في الشرور))
“Preparing food by the family of the deceased is a reprehensible bid‘ah, because it was legislated for occasions of joy, not sorrow.”
⚠ Practical Harms
Often, the family of the deceased cannot afford such expenses, but due to societal pressure and criticism, they borrow money to arrange these meals. Sometimes, even the wealth of orphans is unjustly used for this purpose — a grave sin.
Allah ﷻ says:
﴿إِنَّ ٱلَّذِينَ يَأْكُلُونَ أَمْوَٰلَ ٱلْيَتَـٰمَىٰ ظُلْمًا إِنَّمَا يَأْكُلُونَ فِى بُطُونِهِمْ نَارًۭا وَسَيَصْلَوْنَ سَعِيرًۭا﴾ (An-Nisā’: 10)
“Indeed, those who consume the wealth of orphans unjustly are only filling their bellies with fire, and soon they will enter the blazing Hell.”
Conclusion
◈ This practice of food invitations and condolence gatherings after death is wrong and impermissible.
◈ In Islam, it is not the duty of the bereaved family to arrange food or feasts after a death.
◈ It is an innovation and reprehensible custom, causing financial burdens and leading to violation of orphan’s rights.
ھذا ما عندی واللہ أعلم بالصواب
