❀ Ruling on Favoring Some Children Over Others ❀
Source:
This article is derived from the book “500 Questions and Answers for Women” based on the fatwas of the scholars of the Haramain, translated by Hafiz Abdullah Saleem.
A woman, while welcoming her children or greeting them, shows preferential treatment to some of them, even though all her children treat her equally well.
She also behaves unequally with her grandchildren, despite their equal conduct towards her.
Is it permissible for her to act this way?
It is obligatory for parents to act with justice and fairness among their children.
They must not give preference to one child over another in matters like gifts, affection, or attention.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"اتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكم"
[Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim – Kitāb al-Hibāt, 13]
“Fear Allah and treat your children equally.”
He ﷺ also said:
"أيسرك أن يكونوا إليك في البر سواء؟ قال: بلى. قال: فلا إذًا"
[Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim – Kitāb al-Hibāt, 17]
“Would you like them to treat you equally in kindness?” He replied: Yes. The Prophet said: Then do not show favoritism.”
The righteous scholars and elders of the past were careful to maintain equality among their children even in kissing, showing affection, and welcoming them—out of obedience to the command of maintaining justice among offspring.
There may be justifiable cases where preferential treatment is excused, such as:
Nonetheless, the general rule is that when all children behave equally well, then the parent must treat them all equally in return—whether in gifts, affection, or behavior.
(By: Shaykh Ibn Jibreen رحمه الله)
Source:
This article is derived from the book “500 Questions and Answers for Women” based on the fatwas of the scholars of the Haramain, translated by Hafiz Abdullah Saleem.
❖ Question:
A woman, while welcoming her children or greeting them, shows preferential treatment to some of them, even though all her children treat her equally well.
She also behaves unequally with her grandchildren, despite their equal conduct towards her.
Is it permissible for her to act this way?
❖ Answer:
It is obligatory for parents to act with justice and fairness among their children.
They must not give preference to one child over another in matters like gifts, affection, or attention.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"اتقوا الله واعدلوا بين أولادكم"
[Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim – Kitāb al-Hibāt, 13]
“Fear Allah and treat your children equally.”
He ﷺ also said:
"أيسرك أن يكونوا إليك في البر سواء؟ قال: بلى. قال: فلا إذًا"
[Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim – Kitāb al-Hibāt, 17]
“Would you like them to treat you equally in kindness?” He replied: Yes. The Prophet said: Then do not show favoritism.”
❖ The Way of the Righteous:
The righteous scholars and elders of the past were careful to maintain equality among their children even in kissing, showing affection, and welcoming them—out of obedience to the command of maintaining justice among offspring.
❖ Exception:
There may be justifiable cases where preferential treatment is excused, such as:
- A child being younger,
- Or ill,
- And the parent shows extra care out of compassion.
Nonetheless, the general rule is that when all children behave equally well, then the parent must treat them all equally in return—whether in gifts, affection, or behavior.
(By: Shaykh Ibn Jibreen رحمه الله)
