Extracted from the book “Ik Majlis Mein Teen Talaqain Aur Uska Shar‘i Hal” authored by Ḥāfiẓ Ṣalāḥ al-Dīn Yūsuf (Advisor to the Federal Shari‘ah Court of Pakistan).❖ The Man’s Right of Divorce and Its Protocols
In most religions, once a marriage bond is established, there is often no concept of separation or divorce. However, Islam acknowledges that at times, discord between husband and wife may render living together harmful for both. In such circumstances, divorce (ṭalāq) becomes the better course of action.
Islam grants the right of divorce to the man, but instructs that it should only be used as a last resort. Alongside this right, Islam provides a set of advisories which, if properly followed, often prevent matters from escalating to the point of divorce. Unfortunately, due to a lack of awareness and understanding, minor conflicts often end in divorce.
It is thus crucial for men to understand and follow the Islamic teachings regarding reconciliation and patience in marriage.
◈ Etiquette of Dealing with One’s Wife
✿ Living with Her Honorably
Allah says:
وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ...
“And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.”
[Surah al-Nisāʾ: 19]This implies that even if a husband dislikes something in his wife, he should not rush to divorce, for there may be hidden blessings in that marriage—such as righteous offspring or barakah (blessing) in wealth.
❀ The Prophet ﷺ said:
لاَ يَفْرَكْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَةً...
“Let not a believing man hate a believing woman. If he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Bāb al-Waṣiyyah bi al-Nisāʾ: 1467
This highlights the importance of focusing on her good qualities, rather than obsessing over flaws.✿ Recognizing Her Natural Disposition
❀ The Prophet ﷺ said:
إِنَّ الْمَرْأَةَ خُلِقَتْ مِنْ ضِلَعٍ...
“Indeed, the woman is created from a rib. She will never be straight in the way you desire. If you enjoy her, enjoy her while there is crookedness in her. And if you attempt to straighten her, you will break her. And breaking her is divorcing her.”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, Bāb al-Waṣiyyah bi al-Nisāʾ: 1468
This guidance teaches patience and emotional intelligence in managing household matters, recognizing the unique emotional makeup of women.✿ Three Gradual Steps When Discord Arises
Allah says:
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ...
“As for those women whose disobedience you fear, admonish them, leave them in beds, and (lightly) strike them. But if they obey you, seek no means against them.”
[Surah al-Nisāʾ: 34]These are three escalating steps:
① Admonishment and advice
② Separation in bed
③ Light disciplinary measure (without causing harm)
This does not permit abuse. Any disciplinary action must avoid the face and must not leave marks. It is only meant as a corrective measure and not a punishment.❀ The Prophet ﷺ said:
“If you must strike, strike lightly, such that it leaves no mark. Do not strike the face.”
Reference: Sunan Abī Dāwūd, Kitāb al-Nikāḥ: 2142
✿ Appointing Arbitrators When Conflict Escalates
If all the above fail, Islam advises involving family members to mediate.
Allah says:
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا...
“If you fear discord between them, appoint an arbitrator from his family and one from hers. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will bring about harmony.”
[Surah al-Nisāʾ: 35] If this also fails, a judicial process may proceed.❖ Etiquettes of Divorce (Adāb al-Ṭalāq)
✿ Divorce During a State of Purity
فَطَلِّقُوهُنَّ لِعِدَّتِهِنَّ
“Divorce them at the commencement of their waiting period (ʿiddah).”
[Surah al-Ṭalāq: 1]That is, during a ṭuhr (period of purity), in which the husband has not had relations with her.
This prevents impulsive divorce and allows for reconsideration.
✿ Issue Only One Divorce at a Time
Giving three divorces at once is against the Sunnah and was condemned by the Prophet ﷺ.
❀ The Prophet ﷺ expressed anger and said:
“Is the Book of Allah being played with while I am still among you?”
Reference: Sunan al-Nasāʾī: 3430, al-Muḥallā of Ibn Ḥazm: 10/167
✿ Benefits of One Divorce
Allows time for reconciliation during ʿiddah Allows re-marriage after ʿiddah with mutual consent Maintains Islamic flexibility and wisdom in family preservation✿ Staying at Husband’s Home During ʿIddah
لَا تُخْرِجُوهُنَّ مِنْ بُيُوتِهِنَّ وَلَا يَخْرُجْنَ
“Do not expel them from their homes, nor should they leave.”
[Surah al-Ṭalāq: 1] This allows for potential reconciliation, as living in proximity may rekindle affection.✿ Let Her Go Honorably If Reconciliation Fails
وَأَوْ تَسْرِيحٌ بِإِحْسَانٍ
“Or release them with kindness.”
[Surah al-Baqarah: 241]Additionally:
وَمَتِّعُوهُنَّ...
“And give them a provision according to your means—this is an obligation upon the doers of good.”
[Surah al-Baqarah: 236–241]
This parting gift (matāʿ) should be according to one’s means, and it applies to all divorced women.❖ Islam Has Not Given Divorce Right to Women
Islam does not grant women the right to initiate divorce independently. The reason lies in their biological and psychological nature, which makes them more prone to emotional decisions, haste, and impulsiveness.
If women were given the authority to divorce, the fragility of family structure would increase dramatically. This has been proven by sociological studies in Western societies, where such liberties exist.❀ The Prophet ﷺ said:
رَأَيْتُ النَّارَ فَإِذَا أَكْثَرُ أَهْلِهَا النِّسَاءُ...
“I saw the Fire, and most of its dwellers were women.”
It was asked, “Because of disbelief in Allah?”
He replied,
“No, because of their ingratitude towards their husbands and denial of favors. If you were to do good to one of them for a lifetime, and then she saw something (undesirable) in you, she would say: ‘I have never seen any good from you.’”
Reference: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, Kitāb al-Īmān, Ḥadīth: 29
This Hadith proves that a woman's emotional temperament often overrides logical reasoning. Therefore, Islam protects both the woman and the family unit by assigning the right of divorce to the man, who is naturally more restrained and deliberate.❖ Severe Harms of Instant Triple Divorce
① It contradicts Qur'an and Sunnah.
② The Prophet ﷺ declared it as “playing with the Book of Allah.”
③ It eliminates the wisdom of gradual reconciliation offered in the Qur’an.
④ It destroys families, leaving women destitute and children abandoned.
⑤ Even traditional fiqh schools acknowledge that such practice is impermissible, though they may accept its enforcement.
⑥ The Islamic Ideological Council of Pakistan (2001) recommended that triple divorce be made a punishable offense.
⑦ If the man’s intention was only to give one divorce, and he uttered three for emphasis, it should be treated as one divorce — especially to provide immediate relief to the masses suffering due to ignorance.
❖ Conclusion: Man’s Right Comes With Responsibility
Islam gave the man the right to divorce not to oppress, but to resolve marital discord with wisdom, patience, and responsibility.
❖ This right is a mark of leadership, not a tool for tyranny.
The woman, being more emotionally inclined, is protected by being excluded from this role — this is not injustice, but divine mercy.
وَمَا رَبُّكَ بِظَلَّامٍ لِلْعَبِيدِ
“And your Lord is never unjust to the servants.”
[Surah Fuṣṣilat: 46]