Translation: How to Treat Anger – from the book “Apne Aap Par Dum Kaise Karein” by Shaykh Shakhbut bin Salih al-Marri
When anger flares up, it can be treated through the following means:
The remembrance of Allah leads to fear of Him, which draws one towards obedience to Allah – a cause for the cessation of anger. Allah the Most High says:
﴿وَاذْكُرْ رَبَّكَ إِذَا نَسِيتَ﴾
"And remember your Lord when you forget."
[Surah Al-Kahf: 24]
❖ ʿIkrimah رحمه الله commented: This means, “When you become angry.”
Allah the Exalted says:
﴿وَإِمَّا يَنْزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ﴾
"And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Shayṭān, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing."
[Surah Fuṣṣilat: 36]
❖ Sayyidunā Sulaymān ibn Ṣurad رضي الله عنه said:
“I was sitting with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ while two men were arguing. One of them turned red and his veins were bulging. The Prophet ﷺ said: ‘I know a word that, if he were to say it, his anger would go away. If he says: أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم, his anger will subside.’”
[al-Bukhārī: 6115, Muslim: 2610]
The Prophet ﷺ also said:
"When one of you becomes angry and says: أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم, his anger will subside."
[Ṣaḥīḥ al-Jāmiʿ: 695]
One should suppress anger and forgive, and reflect on the merits of patience and forbearance as mentioned in the noble Aḥādīth. He must strive against his soul and control it.
Allah the Exalted says:
﴿الَّذِينَ يُنْفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ﴾
"Those who spend [in Allah's cause] in prosperity and adversity, who restrain anger and who pardon people – and Allah loves the doers of good."
[Āl ʿImrān: 134]
❖ The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Whoever suppresses anger while being able to take revenge, Allah will call him before the creation on the Day of Resurrection and let him choose from the wide-eyed ḥūr of Paradise whomever he desires."
[Ṣaḥīḥ Abī Dāwūd: 4777, Ṣaḥīḥ al-Tirmidhī: 2021]
❖ The Prophet ﷺ also said:
"Do not become angry, and Paradise will be yours."
[al-Ṭabarānī with two chains – one of which is sound; see: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Targhīb wa al-Tarhīb: 2749, and Ṣaḥīḥ al-Jāmiʿ: 7374]
Let a person warn his soul against vengeance and hostility. One must not rejoice over the harm inflicted on an enemy or curse him – for no one is safe from trials.
This is referred to as the overpowering of desire due to anger – and one only earns reward when they leave something out of fear of losing reward in the Hereafter.
One must acknowledge that what occurred was decreed by Allah and not in line with his own desires. How then can his personal desire be more beloved than Allah’s Will?
He should warn himself of Allah’s punishment and say to his soul:
"Just as you have power over this person, Allah has even greater power over you. If I take out my anger on him, perhaps Allah will take out His Anger on me on the Day of Judgment. I am most in need of Allah’s forgiveness."
One should contemplate his condition during anger – how he resembles a mad dog or a wild beast, distant from the noble character of the Prophets and righteous scholars.
He should change his posture during anger:
❖ If standing – sit down.
❖ If sitting – lie down.
❖ Sayyidunā Abū Dharr رضي الله عنه narrated:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"If one of you gets angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger does not subside, he should lie down."
[Musnad Aḥmad: 5/25, Ṣaḥīḥ Abī Dāwūd: 4782]
People’s hearts turn away due to anger, and they distance themselves from the angry person, leaving him isolated. Hence, one must restrain their anger.
He should remember that good character and forgiveness attract hearts. Do not lose this opportunity by driving people away through wrath.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Indeed, anger is from Shayṭān, and Shayṭān was created from fire. And fire is extinguished by water. So, when one of you becomes angry, he should perform wuḍū."
Its reference has preceded.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"When one of you becomes angry, he should remain silent."
[Musnad Aḥmad: 1/239, 2136 – al-Shākir said: Its isnād is authentic – al-Jāmiʿ: 4027]
❖ In a narration about the most beloved person to Allah, it is mentioned:
Ibn ʿUmar رضي الله عنه said:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Whoever controls his anger, Allah will conceal his faults. And whoever suppresses his rage while being capable of acting upon it, Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Judgment."
Narrated by al-Ṭabarānī and Ibn Abī al-Dunyā; authenticated by al-Albānī
Let one ponder over the consequences of anger – which are nothing but regret and blame over vengeful actions.
❖ Treatment of Anger
When anger flares up, it can be treated through the following means:
① Remembrance of Allah (ﷻ)
The remembrance of Allah leads to fear of Him, which draws one towards obedience to Allah – a cause for the cessation of anger. Allah the Most High says:
﴿وَاذْكُرْ رَبَّكَ إِذَا نَسِيتَ﴾
"And remember your Lord when you forget."
[Surah Al-Kahf: 24]❖ ʿIkrimah رحمه الله commented: This means, “When you become angry.”
② Seeking Refuge in Allah from the Accursed Shayṭān
Allah the Exalted says:
﴿وَإِمَّا يَنْزَغَنَّكَ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ نَزْغٌ فَاسْتَعِذْ بِاللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيعُ الْعَلِيمُ﴾
"And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Shayṭān, then seek refuge in Allah. Indeed, He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing."
[Surah Fuṣṣilat: 36]❖ Sayyidunā Sulaymān ibn Ṣurad رضي الله عنه said:
“I was sitting with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ while two men were arguing. One of them turned red and his veins were bulging. The Prophet ﷺ said: ‘I know a word that, if he were to say it, his anger would go away. If he says: أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم, his anger will subside.’”
[al-Bukhārī: 6115, Muslim: 2610]The Prophet ﷺ also said:
"When one of you becomes angry and says: أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم, his anger will subside."
[Ṣaḥīḥ al-Jāmiʿ: 695]③ Swallowing Anger and Forgiving
One should suppress anger and forgive, and reflect on the merits of patience and forbearance as mentioned in the noble Aḥādīth. He must strive against his soul and control it.
Allah the Exalted says:
﴿الَّذِينَ يُنْفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ﴾
"Those who spend [in Allah's cause] in prosperity and adversity, who restrain anger and who pardon people – and Allah loves the doers of good."
[Āl ʿImrān: 134]④ Hadith on Reward for Controlling Anger
❖ The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Whoever suppresses anger while being able to take revenge, Allah will call him before the creation on the Day of Resurrection and let him choose from the wide-eyed ḥūr of Paradise whomever he desires."
[Ṣaḥīḥ Abī Dāwūd: 4777, Ṣaḥīḥ al-Tirmidhī: 2021]❖ The Prophet ﷺ also said:
"Do not become angry, and Paradise will be yours."
[al-Ṭabarānī with two chains – one of which is sound; see: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Targhīb wa al-Tarhīb: 2749, and Ṣaḥīḥ al-Jāmiʿ: 7374]⑤ Fear of Allah’s Punishment
Let a person warn his soul against vengeance and hostility. One must not rejoice over the harm inflicted on an enemy or curse him – for no one is safe from trials.
This is referred to as the overpowering of desire due to anger – and one only earns reward when they leave something out of fear of losing reward in the Hereafter.
One must acknowledge that what occurred was decreed by Allah and not in line with his own desires. How then can his personal desire be more beloved than Allah’s Will?
He should warn himself of Allah’s punishment and say to his soul:
"Just as you have power over this person, Allah has even greater power over you. If I take out my anger on him, perhaps Allah will take out His Anger on me on the Day of Judgment. I am most in need of Allah’s forgiveness."
⑥ Reflect on One’s State During Anger
One should contemplate his condition during anger – how he resembles a mad dog or a wild beast, distant from the noble character of the Prophets and righteous scholars.
He should change his posture during anger:
❖ If standing – sit down.
❖ If sitting – lie down.
❖ Sayyidunā Abū Dharr رضي الله عنه narrated:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"If one of you gets angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger does not subside, he should lie down."
[Musnad Aḥmad: 5/25, Ṣaḥīḥ Abī Dāwūd: 4782]⑦ Control Anger to Avoid Isolation
People’s hearts turn away due to anger, and they distance themselves from the angry person, leaving him isolated. Hence, one must restrain their anger.
He should remember that good character and forgiveness attract hearts. Do not lose this opportunity by driving people away through wrath.
⑧ Perform Wuḍū at the Time of Anger
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Indeed, anger is from Shayṭān, and Shayṭān was created from fire. And fire is extinguished by water. So, when one of you becomes angry, he should perform wuḍū."
Its reference has preceded.⑨ Maintain Silence During Anger
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"When one of you becomes angry, he should remain silent."
[Musnad Aḥmad: 1/239, 2136 – al-Shākir said: Its isnād is authentic – al-Jāmiʿ: 4027]✿ Additional Note:
❖ In a narration about the most beloved person to Allah, it is mentioned:
Ibn ʿUmar رضي الله عنه said:
The Prophet ﷺ said:
"Whoever controls his anger, Allah will conceal his faults. And whoever suppresses his rage while being capable of acting upon it, Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Judgment."
Narrated by al-Ṭabarānī and Ibn Abī al-Dunyā; authenticated by al-Albānī⑩ Reflect on the Consequences of Anger
Let one ponder over the consequences of anger – which are nothing but regret and blame over vengeful actions.
