This article is derived from the book 500 Questions and Answers for Women, which contains fatwas from the scholars of the Haramain. The translation is done by Hafiz Abdullah Saleem.
"اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَاعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ أَوْلَادِكُمْ"
("Fear Allah and be just among your children.")
[Authentic – Sahih al-Bukhari (Hadith No. 2447)]
The Prophet (ﷺ) also said:
"أَتُحِبُّ أَنْ يَكُونُوا فِي الْبِرِّ سَوَاءً فَسَوِّ بَيْنَهُمْ"
("Do you wish for them to treat you equally with kindness? Then treat them equally.")
[Authentic – Sahih Ibn Hibban (11/505)]
Senior scholars (رحمهم الله) even recommended maintaining equality in actions such as kissing children, greeting them with a smile, and welcoming them warmly, as the command to be just among children is explicit.
However, in some cases, slight differences in treatment may be permissible, such as when a father or mother shows extra kindness to a young child, a sick child, or a disabled child due to their special needs.
Nonetheless, the general principle is to ensure justice and fairness in all dealings with children, especially when they all treat their parents equally in kindness, maintaining family ties, and obedience.
(Shaykh Abdullah bin Abdul Rahman al-Jibreen حفظه الله)
Question:
Is it permissible for a woman to give special treatment to one of her sons by welcoming him warmly while ignoring others, despite all of them treating her equally well? Similarly, is it allowed for her to favor one of her grandsons while all of them greet her and interact with her equally?Answer:
A father and mother are obligated to maintain justice and fairness among their children in gifts, presents, and other acts of generosity. They must not favor one child over the others, as the Prophet (ﷺ) said:"اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَاعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ أَوْلَادِكُمْ"
("Fear Allah and be just among your children.")
[Authentic – Sahih al-Bukhari (Hadith No. 2447)]
The Prophet (ﷺ) also said:
"أَتُحِبُّ أَنْ يَكُونُوا فِي الْبِرِّ سَوَاءً فَسَوِّ بَيْنَهُمْ"
("Do you wish for them to treat you equally with kindness? Then treat them equally.")
[Authentic – Sahih Ibn Hibban (11/505)]
Senior scholars (رحمهم الله) even recommended maintaining equality in actions such as kissing children, greeting them with a smile, and welcoming them warmly, as the command to be just among children is explicit.
However, in some cases, slight differences in treatment may be permissible, such as when a father or mother shows extra kindness to a young child, a sick child, or a disabled child due to their special needs.
Nonetheless, the general principle is to ensure justice and fairness in all dealings with children, especially when they all treat their parents equally in kindness, maintaining family ties, and obedience.
(Shaykh Abdullah bin Abdul Rahman al-Jibreen حفظه الله)