❀ A Woman's Resolve to Marry a Righteous Man ❀
This fatwa is excerpted from the book “500 Questions and Answers for Women,” based on the fatāwā of the scholars of the Ḥaramayn, translated by Ḥāfiẓ ʿAbdullāh Salīm.
I am a female student. Nearly twenty-five young men have proposed to me over the past eight years, but I declined all of them. The reason is that I performed istikhārah concerning each of them, yet my heart never felt at ease marrying any of them. However, my family often scolds me for not marrying and insists that finding a socially equal man is sufficient. But I have firmly resolved in my heart to marry only such a man who is devoted to the Sunnah and who struggles in the path of Allāh with his wealth, his self, and his pen. Is this intention of mine valid and acceptable in Sharīʿah?
Yes, inshā’Allāh, this intention is valid, and having a righteous companion is a great aid in achieving goodness.
At times, a pious woman is married off to a disobedient man, and how quickly he misguides her, distracting her from righteousness and engaging her in worldly concerns. Therefore, I advise this woman to only marry a righteous man, even if it means she must spend from her own wealth (provided she is financially able). If the man is not well-off, she can bring him to live with her and should not demand separation afterward.
Alḥamdulillāh, there are many righteous men—especially in places like Algeria—who seek righteous wives. It would be excellent if such a woman married a pious man and thereby established a righteous household and became a means of calling others to the Book of Allāh and the Sunnah of His Messenger ﷺ.
We personally know many upright Algerian students of knowledge who long to marry righteous women, even if it means living in Yemen. By the will of Allāh, they may even become callers to Islām in America and other lands.
The following ḥadīth, found in both Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī and Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, confirms this idea:
«تُنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها، ولحسبها، ولجمالها، ولدينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك»
"A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So marry the religious woman—may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper)."
[Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5090; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1466]
This applies likewise to men. The Prophet ﷺ also said:
«المرء على دين خليله، فلينظر أحدكم من يخالل»
"A person is upon the religion of his close companion, so let each of you consider whom he takes as a companion."
[Ḥasan – Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4833]
This means that goodness in a companion is essential.
Of course, it is not a requirement that a man be flawless or never make mistakes—such perfection is unattainable. As one poet said:
❝ Who is there whose traits are all pleasing?
It suffices a man’s nobility that his faults are countable. ❞
Another poet beautifully stated:
❝ You will not retain a brother if you scold him for every flaw;
Tell me, who among men is completely refined? ❞
Hence, one must learn to overlook minor faults. This does not mean that I am advising a woman to marry a sinful man or ignore a righteous suitor. On the contrary, when a seeker of knowledge comes for marriage, it is excellent—especially if he is a ḥāfiẓ, a caller to the religion, and a struggler in Allāh's cause through his pen. If he is granted a righteous wife who calls others to the religion of Allāh, she is truly a paradise for him in this world.
Wa-Allāh al-Mustaʿān.
(Maqbil ibn Hādī al-Wādiʿī رحمه الله)
This fatwa is excerpted from the book “500 Questions and Answers for Women,” based on the fatāwā of the scholars of the Ḥaramayn, translated by Ḥāfiẓ ʿAbdullāh Salīm.
❖ Question:
I am a female student. Nearly twenty-five young men have proposed to me over the past eight years, but I declined all of them. The reason is that I performed istikhārah concerning each of them, yet my heart never felt at ease marrying any of them. However, my family often scolds me for not marrying and insists that finding a socially equal man is sufficient. But I have firmly resolved in my heart to marry only such a man who is devoted to the Sunnah and who struggles in the path of Allāh with his wealth, his self, and his pen. Is this intention of mine valid and acceptable in Sharīʿah?
❖ Answer:
Yes, inshā’Allāh, this intention is valid, and having a righteous companion is a great aid in achieving goodness.
At times, a pious woman is married off to a disobedient man, and how quickly he misguides her, distracting her from righteousness and engaging her in worldly concerns. Therefore, I advise this woman to only marry a righteous man, even if it means she must spend from her own wealth (provided she is financially able). If the man is not well-off, she can bring him to live with her and should not demand separation afterward.
Alḥamdulillāh, there are many righteous men—especially in places like Algeria—who seek righteous wives. It would be excellent if such a woman married a pious man and thereby established a righteous household and became a means of calling others to the Book of Allāh and the Sunnah of His Messenger ﷺ.
We personally know many upright Algerian students of knowledge who long to marry righteous women, even if it means living in Yemen. By the will of Allāh, they may even become callers to Islām in America and other lands.
The following ḥadīth, found in both Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī and Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim, confirms this idea:
«تُنكح المرأة لأربع: لمالها، ولحسبها، ولجمالها، ولدينها، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك»
"A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So marry the religious woman—may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper)."
[Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5090; Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 1466]
This applies likewise to men. The Prophet ﷺ also said:
«المرء على دين خليله، فلينظر أحدكم من يخالل»
"A person is upon the religion of his close companion, so let each of you consider whom he takes as a companion."
[Ḥasan – Sunan Abī Dāwūd 4833]
This means that goodness in a companion is essential.
Of course, it is not a requirement that a man be flawless or never make mistakes—such perfection is unattainable. As one poet said:
❝ Who is there whose traits are all pleasing?
It suffices a man’s nobility that his faults are countable. ❞
Another poet beautifully stated:
❝ You will not retain a brother if you scold him for every flaw;
Tell me, who among men is completely refined? ❞
Hence, one must learn to overlook minor faults. This does not mean that I am advising a woman to marry a sinful man or ignore a righteous suitor. On the contrary, when a seeker of knowledge comes for marriage, it is excellent—especially if he is a ḥāfiẓ, a caller to the religion, and a struggler in Allāh's cause through his pen. If he is granted a righteous wife who calls others to the religion of Allāh, she is truly a paradise for him in this world.
Wa-Allāh al-Mustaʿān.
(Maqbil ibn Hādī al-Wādiʿī رحمه الله)
