Source: Explanation of Kitab al-Jami‘ from Bulugh al-Maram by Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani, Translated by Hafiz Abdul Salam bin Muhammad Bhutvi
"When two individuals exchange insults, the sin falls upon the one who initiated it, so long as the oppressed does not exceed the limit."
(Sahih Muslim)
Takhreej:
[Muslim, Chapter on Virtue and Kindness / 68]
Additional Reference: [Tuhfat al-Ashraf 232/10]
Allah (ﷻ) says in the Quran:
"So whoever has assaulted you, then assault him in the same way that he has assaulted you."
(Surah al-Baqarah 2:194)
Forgiving and refraining from retaliation is superior and rewarded greatly. Avoiding retaliation prevents escalation and curtails opportunities for Satan to incite further harm. Allah (ﷻ) states:
"The recompense for an evil is an evil like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation, their reward is [due] from Allah."
(Surah al-Shura 42:40)
It is reported that a man insulted Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) while the Prophet (ﷺ) was present. The Prophet (ﷺ) smiled silently as the man continued his abuse. However, when Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) responded to one of the man's insults, the Prophet (ﷺ) became angry and left the gathering.
Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) followed the Prophet (ﷺ) and inquired about his reaction. The Prophet (ﷺ) explained:
"An angel was responding on your behalf. But when you responded to him, Satan entered. I do not sit with Satan."
(Musnad Ahmad 2/436)
Reference:
Al-Albani graded the narration as Hasan (good). See Sahih Abi Dawood, Hadith No. 4897.
Hadith Reference:
It is narrated from Abu Hurairah (رضي الله عنه) that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:"When two individuals exchange insults, the sin falls upon the one who initiated it, so long as the oppressed does not exceed the limit."
(Sahih Muslim)
Takhreej:
[Muslim, Chapter on Virtue and Kindness / 68]
Additional Reference: [Tuhfat al-Ashraf 232/10]
Key Points and Benefits
This hadith establishes that retaliating against the one who initiates abuse is permissible, provided the retaliation does not exceed the extent of the initial insult. In such a case, the sin for the abusive exchange rests entirely on the initiator, as they are the root cause of the confrontation.Allah (ﷻ) says in the Quran:
"So whoever has assaulted you, then assault him in the same way that he has assaulted you."
(Surah al-Baqarah 2:194)
Forgiving and refraining from retaliation is superior and rewarded greatly. Avoiding retaliation prevents escalation and curtails opportunities for Satan to incite further harm. Allah (ﷻ) states:
"The recompense for an evil is an evil like it, but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation, their reward is [due] from Allah."
(Surah al-Shura 42:40)
A narration from Musnad Ahmad illustrates the virtue of patience and avoiding retaliation.
It is reported that a man insulted Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) while the Prophet (ﷺ) was present. The Prophet (ﷺ) smiled silently as the man continued his abuse. However, when Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) responded to one of the man's insults, the Prophet (ﷺ) became angry and left the gathering.
Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه) followed the Prophet (ﷺ) and inquired about his reaction. The Prophet (ﷺ) explained:
"An angel was responding on your behalf. But when you responded to him, Satan entered. I do not sit with Satan."
(Musnad Ahmad 2/436)
Conclusion:
Retaliating equally to an insult is permissible but not the preferred action. Forgiveness holds greater virtue and brings immense reward from Allah. Responding in kind often leads to escalation and allows Satan to interfere, creating unnecessary discord. Choosing patience and forgiveness, as exemplified by Abu Bakr (رضي الله عنه), aligns more closely with Islamic principles.Reference:
Al-Albani graded the narration as Hasan (good). See Sahih Abi Dawood, Hadith No. 4897.