Source: Khutbahs of Hafiz Muhammad Ishaq Zahid, compiled by: Tawheed.com
Children are a trust from the parents, and their upbringing is among the fundamental responsibilities of the parents. Parents must understand that merely providing sustenance, clothing, and comforts is not enough; rather, religious and moral education is also an obligation.
Allah, the Exalted, says:
﴿یَا أَیُّہَا الَّذِیْنَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَکُمْ وَأَہْلِیْکُمْ نَارًا وَّقُودُہَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَۃُ عَلَیْْہَا مَلَائِکَۃٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا یَعْصُونَ اللّٰہَ مَا أَمَرَہُمْ وَیَفْعَلُونَ مَا یُؤْمَرُونَ ﴾
Translation: “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.”
This verse indicates that it is obligatory for the believers to ensure the reform and education of their families so that all may be saved from Hellfire.
It is narrated from Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَّسْئُوْلٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ،فَالْإِمَامُ رَاعٍ،وَهُوَ مَسْئُوْلٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ فِيْ أَهْلِهِ،وَهُوَ مَسْئُوْلٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ،وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ فِيْ بَيْتِ زَوْجِهَا،وَهِيَ مَسْئُوْلَةٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهَا…فَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُوْلٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ ))
Translation: “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock... A man is the shepherd of his family, and a woman is the shepherd in her husband's house... So each of you is a shepherd, and each of you will be questioned about your flock.”
This means that parents will certainly be asked how far they have gone in the Islamic upbringing of their children.
It is narrated from Hazrat Maqal bin Yasar رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( مَا مِنْ عَبْدٍ يَسْتَرْعِيْهِ اللّٰهُ رَعِيَّةً ، يَمُوْتُ يَوْمَ يَمُوْتُ وَهُوَ غَاشٌّ لِرَعِيَّتِهِ ، إِلَّا حَرَّمَ اللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ الْجَنَّةَ))
Translation: “Whoever Allah appoints as a guardian over a flock, and he deceives them and dies in that state, Allah will make Paradise forbidden for him.”
This is a stern warning for parents not to neglect their benevolence towards their children.
It is narrated from Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( إِذَا مَاتَ الْإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَنْهُ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلاَثٍ : صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ ، أَوْ عِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ ، أَوْ وَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُوْ لَهُ))
Translation: “When a person dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: a continuous charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him.”
Thus, it is the responsibility of parents to raise their children righteously so that they become a source of benefit for them in the Hereafter.
It is narrated from Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه that the Noble Prophet ﷺ said:
(( مَا مِنْ مَوْلُوْدٍ إِلَّا يُوْلَدُ عَلَى الْفِطْرَةِ،فَأَبَوَاهُ يُهَوِّدَانِهِ وَ يُنَصِّرَانِهِ وَ يُمَجِّسَانِهِ ))
Translation: “Every child is born on the Fitrah (Islam), then his parents make him a Jew, a Christian, or a Magian.”
This means that the child possesses the ability to accept the truth; the ultimate decision is influenced by the upbringing of the parents and the environment of the home.
Allah Almighty states:
﴿وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَانُ لِابْنِهِ وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُ يَا بُنَيَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِاللّٰهِ إِنَّ الشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيْمٌ﴾
Translation: “And when Luqman said to his son while advising him: O my beloved son! Do not associate anything with Allah, for indeed, associating others with Him is a great injustice.”
This is the first and foremost advice: to correct the creed, teach monotheism, protect from every form of polytheism, and instill in the hearts of children only hope, fear, and trust in Allah.
Allah Almighty also clarifies the rights of parents in the context of Luqman's advice:
﴿وَوَصَّیْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَیْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَی وَهْنٍ وَّفِصَالُهُ فِیْ عَامَیْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِیْ وَلِوَالِدَیْكَ إِلَیَّ الْمَصِیْرُ. وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَی أَن تُشْرِكَ بِیْ مَا لَیْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِیْ الدُّنْیَا مَعْرُوفًا وَّاتَّبِعْ سَبِیْلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَیَّ ثُمَّ إِلَیَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ﴾
Translation: "And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do."
From these verses, it is understood that obedience and service to parents is obligatory, but if they command shirk or disobedience, then obedience is not required.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ also clarified this principle:
(( لَا طَاعَةَ لِأَحَدٍ فِیْ مَعْصِیَةِ اللّٰهِ ، إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَةُ فِیْ الْمَعْرُوفِ ))
Translation: "There is no obedience to anyone in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in goodness."
Then Luqman assured his son of Allah's complete knowledge:
﴿یَا بُنَیَّ إِنَّهَا إِن تَكُ مِثْقَالَ حَبَّةٍ مِّنْ خَرْدَلٍ فَتَكُن فِیْ صَخْرَةٍ أَوْ فِیْ السَّمَاوَاتِ أَوْ فِی الْأَرْضِ یَأْتِ بِهَا اللّٰهُ إِنَّ اللّٰهُ لَطِیْفٌ خَبِیْرٌ﴾
Translation: "O my dear son! If there is [even] the weight of a mustard seed and it is within a rock or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Indeed, Allah is Subtle and Acquainted."
This is a very fundamental principle of education that children should be instilled with the certainty that Allah knows every good and every evil, thus it is essential to continuously encourage them towards good and instill a hatred for evil.
Luqman's next advice:
﴿یَا بُنَیَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلَاۃَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَانْهَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلَی مَا أَصَابَكَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ﴾
Translation: “O my beloved son! Establish prayer, enjoin good, forbid evil, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, this is of the matters requiring determination.”
Here are four important training matters:
❀ Adherence to prayer
❀ Invitation to goodness
❀ Prevention of evil
❀ Patience in adversity
It is especially necessary for parents to teach their children the correct method of ablution, purification, and prayer practically, and to adhere to it themselves, as merely giving orders without practicing has a negative impact on children.
It is narrated from Abu Abdullah Ibn Amr رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( مُرُوْا أَوْلَادَكُمْ بِالصَّلَاۃِ وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ سَبْعِ سِنِیْنَ،وَاضْرِبُوْهُمْ عَلَیْهَا وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ عَشْرِ سِنِیْنَ ))
Translation: “When your children reach the age of seven, command them to pray, and when they reach ten (and do not pray), then strike them for it.”
Similarly, children should also be taught to invite their peers towards goodness instead of engaging in frivolous conversations and to encourage each other to avoid evil, and to exercise patience and endurance in difficulties.
Then Luqman taught the children about ethics and social manners:
﴿وَلَا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمْشِ فِیْ الْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا إِنَّ اللّٰهُ لَا یُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ٭وَاقْصِدْ فِیْ مَشْیِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِیْرِ﴾
Translation: “And do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed, Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful. And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice. Indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the braying of donkeys.”
These four pieces of advice teach children that:
◈ Do not belittle others
◈ Avoid arrogance and pride
◈ Maintain moderation in demeanor
◈ Observe etiquette in speech and tone
The Noble Prophet ﷺ taught every individual of the Ummah about the religion, even imparting the fundamental beliefs and reliance on Allah to children.
Hazrat Abdullah ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه narrates that one day I was sitting behind the Messenger of Allah ﷺ on his mount, and he ﷺ said:
(( یَا غُلَامُ ! أَلَا أُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ یَنْفَعُكَ اللّٰهُ بِهِنَّ؟))
Translation: “O child! Shall I not teach you a few words through which Allah will benefit you?”
Then he ﷺ taught these great principles:
➊ (( اِحْفَظِ اللّٰهَ یَحْفَظْكَ))
Translation: “Safeguard (the religion of) Allah, and He will safeguard you.”
➋ (( اِحْفَظِ اللّٰهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ))
Translation: “Be mindful of the limits of Allah, and you will find Him with you.”
➌ (( إِذَا سَأَلْتَ فَاسْأَلِ اللّٰهَ ))
Translation: “When you ask, ask only Allah.”
➍ (( وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْتَ فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللّٰهِ ))
Translation: “When you seek help, seek help only from Allah.”
➎ (( وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الْأُمَّةَ لَوِ اجْتَمَعَتْ عَلٰی أَنْ یَّنْفَعُوْكَ بِشَیْءٍ،لَمْ یَنْفَعُوْكَ إِلَّا بِشَیْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللّٰهُ لَكَ،وَإِنِ اجْتَمَعُوْا عَلٰی أَنْ یَّضُرُّوْكَ بِشَیْءٍ لَمْ یَضُرُّوْكَ إِلَّا بِشَیْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللّٰهُ عَلَیْكَ))
Translation: “Know! If the entire Ummah gathers to benefit you, they can only provide you with what Allah has decreed for you, and if the entire Ummah gathers to harm you, they can only harm you with what Allah has decreed for you.”
➏ (( رُفِعَتِ الْأَقْلَامُ وَجَفَّتِ الصُّحُفُ))
Translation: “The pens have been lifted, and the pages have dried.”
➐ (( تَعَرَّفْ إِلَی اللّٰهِ فِیْ الرَّخَاءِ یَعْرِفْكَ فِیْ الشِّدَّةِ ))
Translation: “Recognize Allah in times of ease, and He will recognize you in times of hardship.”
➑ (( وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ مَا أَخْطَأَكَ لَمْ یَكُنْ لِیُصِیبَكَ وَمَا أَصَابَكَ لَمْ یَكُنْ لِیُخْطِئَكَ))
Translation: “What has missed you was never meant to reach you, and what has reached you was never meant to miss you.”
➒ (( وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ النَّصْرَ مَعَ الصَّبْرِ ، وَأَنَّ الْفَرَجَ مَعَ الْكَرْبِ))
Translation: “Help comes with patience, and with hardship comes ease.”
➓ (( وَأَنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ یُسْرًا ))
Translation: “And indeed, with hardship comes ease.”
These admonitions constitute a comprehensive curriculum of Tawheed (Oneness of Allah), Tawakkul (Trust in Allah), Qadr (Divine Decree), and Sabr (Patience) that parents should instill in their children's minds.
Parents should treat their children with love, compassion, and gentleness, as harshness and indifference break the hearts of children.
Hazrat Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه narrates that once the Messenger of Allah ﷺ kissed his grandson Hazrat Hasan رضي الله عنه. A companion, Hazrat Aqra' bin Habis رضي الله عنه, said: "I have ten children, and I have never kissed any of them." The Noble Prophet ﷺ replied:
(( مَن لَّا یَرْحَمُ لَا یُرْحَمُ ))
Translation: "He who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy."
Similarly, Hazrat Aisha رضي الله عنها narrates that some Bedouins came to the service of the Noble Prophet ﷺ and said: "Do you kiss your children?" You ﷺ and the companions رضي الله عنهم replied: "Yes." They said: "We do not kiss our children." The Prophet ﷺ then said:
(( أَوَ أَمْلِکُ إِنْ کَانَ اللّٰہُ نَزَعَ مِنْکُمُ الرَّحْمَۃَ ))
Translation: "If Allah has removed mercy from your hearts, what can I do?"
And Hazrat Buraidah رضي الله عنه narrates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was delivering a sermon when Hazrat Hasan رضي الله عنه and Hazrat Husayn رضي الله عنه came wearing red shirts and stumbling. He ﷺ descended from the pulpit, picked them up, and said:
﴿ إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُکُمْ وَأَوْلاَدُکُمْ فِتْنَۃٌ ﴾
Translation: "Indeed, your wealth and your children are a trial."
These incidents illustrate that showing love and attention to children is a Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.
It is essential to give children their rights, no matter how small they may be.
Hazrat Suhail bin Sa'd رضي الله عنه narrates that a drink was presented to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. On your right side sat a child and on your left side sat elderly people. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to the child:
(( أَتَأْذَنُ لِیْ أَنْ أُعْطِیَ ہٰؤُلَائِ ? ))
Translation: “Do you allow me to give this drink to the elderly people first?”
The child replied:
(( وَاللّٰہِ یَا رَسُوْلَ اللّٰہِ ! لَا أُوْثِرُ بِنَصِیْبِیْ مِنْکَ أَحَدًا))
Translation: “By Allah! O Messenger of Allah! I cannot prefer anyone over my share.”
Thus, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ gave the drink to that child. This indicates that the rights of children should be respected.
Islam permits permissible play and recreation.
Hazrat Anas رضي الله عنه narrates that my younger brother used to play with a bird. The Noble Prophet ﷺ would jokingly say:
(( یَا أَبَا عُمَیْر ! مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَیْر ? ))
Translation: “O Abu Umayr! What happened to that little bird?”
Similarly, the brothers of Hazrat Yusuf عليه السلام said to Hazrat Yaqub عليه السلام:
﴿ أَرْسِلْہُ مَعَنَا غَدًا یَّرْتَعْ وَیَلْعَبْ وَإِنَّا لَہُ لَحَافِظُوْنَ﴾
Translation: “Send him with us tomorrow so that he may eat, drink, and play, and we will take care of him.”
This is evidence that there is no restriction on permissible play, provided it is within the limits of Shari'ah.
Children should be taught the Kalimah:
لَا إِلٰہَ إلِاَّ اللّٰہُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَّسُوْلُ اللّٰہ
Translation: “There is no deity worthy of worship except Allah, and Muhammad ﷺ is the Messenger of Allah.”
Allah Almighty's command is:
﴿وَاِلٰھُکُمْ اِلٰہٌ وَّاحِدٌ لَا اِلٰہَ اِلَّا ھُوَ الرَّحْمٰنُ الرَّحِیْمُ ﴾
Translation: “And your deity is one deity. There is no deity worthy of worship except Him, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.”
The meaning of Muhammad رسول اللہ is that you ﷺ are the last Prophet, and obedience to you is obligatory.
Allah the Exalted says:
﴿ فَلاَ وَرَبِّکَ لاَ یُؤْمِنُوْنَ حَتّٰی یُحَکِّمُوْکَ فِیْمَا شَجَرَ بَیْنَہُمْ ثُمَّ لاَ یَجِدُوْا فِیْ أَنْفُسِہِمْ حَرَجًا مِمَّا قَضَیْتَ وَیُسَلِّمُوْا تَسْلِیْمًا ﴾
Translation: "By your Lord, they will not believe until they make you judge in all their disputes, and then find no discomfort in their hearts regarding your verdict and accept it with full submission."
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( بُنِیَ الْإِسْلَامُ عَلٰی خَمْسٍ:شَھَادَۃِ أَن لَّا إِلٰہَ إلِاَّ اللّٰہُ وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُہُ وَرَسُوْلُہُ،وَإِقَامِ الصَّلَاۃِ،وَإِیْتَائِ الزَّکَاۃِ،وَحَجِّ بَیْتِ اللّٰہِ ،وَصَوْمِ رَمَضَانَ))
Translation: "Islam is built upon five pillars: the testimony that there is no deity but Allah and Muhammad ﷺ is His servant and Messenger, establishing prayer, giving zakat, performing the pilgrimage to the House (Kaaba), and fasting in Ramadan."
Verses for each pillar:
﴿ وَأْمُرْ أَہْلَکَ بِالصَّلاَۃِ وَاصْطَبِرْ عَلَیْہَا﴾
Translation: "And enjoin your family to prayer and be steadfast therein."
﴿وَأَقِیْمُواْ الصَّلاَۃَ وَآتُواْ الزَّکَاۃَ﴾
Translation: "Establish prayer and give zakat."
﴿یَا أَیُّہَا الَّذِیْنَ آمَنُواْ کُتِبَ عَلَیْکُمُ الصِّیَامُ﴾
Translation: "O you who have believed! Decreed upon you is fasting."
﴿ وَلِلّٰہِ عَلَی النَّاسِ حِجُّ الْبَیْتِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ إِلَیْہِ سَبِیْلاً ﴾
Translation: "And (due) to Allah from the people is pilgrimage to the House - for whoever is able to make the journey."
(( أَنْ تُؤْمِنَ بِاللّٰہِ،وَمَلَائِکَتِہٖ،وَکُتُبِہٖ،وَرُسُلِہٖ،وَالْیَوْمِ الْآخِرِ، وَالْقَدْرِ خَیْرِہٖ وَشَرِّہٖ مِنَ اللّٰہِ ))
Translation: "Faith is to believe in Allah, His angels, His books, His messengers, the Last Day, and in predestination, both the good and the bad of it."
﴿ذَلِکَ بِأَنَّ اللّٰہَ ہُوَ الْحَقُّ﴾
Translation: "This is because Allah is the Truth, and what they invoke besides Him is falsehood."
﴿یُسَبِّحُونَ اللَّیْلَ وَالنَّہَارَ لَا یَفْتُرُونَ ﴾
Translation: "They (the angels) glorify Him night and day and do not become weary."
﴿زَعَمَ الَّذِیْنَ کَفَرُوا أَن لَّن یُبْعَثُوا﴾
Translation: "The disbelievers think that they will not be resurrected. Say, 'Yes! By my Lord, you will surely be resurrected.'"
﴿ وَکُلَّ شَیْئٍ أَحْصَیْنَاہُ فِیْ إِمَامٍ مُّبِیْنٍ ﴾
Translation: "And We have certainly created all things and have recorded them in a clear register."
Parents should never lie to their children, as children learn what they see and hear.
Hazrat Abdullah bin Amir رضي الله عنه narrates that one day the Messenger of Allah ﷺ visited our home. My mother called me and said: Come, I will give you something. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ asked: What were you going to give him? She said: I intended to give him a date. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( أَمَا إِنَّکِ لَوْ لَمْ تُعْطِیْہِ شَیْئًا کُتِبَتْ عَلَیْکَ کِذْبَۃً ))
Translation: "Beware! If you had not given him anything, a lie would have been recorded against you."
Similarly, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( آیَۃُ الْمُنَافِقِ ثَلَاثٌ : إِذَا حَدَّثَ کَذَبَ ، وَإِذَا وَعَدَ أَخْلَفَ ، وَإِذَا اؤْتُمِنَ خَان ))
Translation: "There are three signs of a hypocrite: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted, he betrays."
Therefore, the teaching of truthfulness should begin at home.
Children should be taught the Islamic etiquette of eating and drinking.
Hazrat Umar bin Abi Salmah رضي الله عنه narrates that I was a child and was eating with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, my hand was moving around the plate, and he ﷺ said:
(( یَا غُلَامُ ! سَمِّ اللّٰہَ ، وَکُلْ بِیَمِیْنِکَ ، وَکُلْ مِمَّا یَلِیْکَ ))
Translation: "O child! Say Bismillah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you."
Hazrat Nu'man bin Bashir رضي الله عنه narrates that my father wanted to give me some wealth. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ asked: Have you given the same to all your children? He said: No. Then he ﷺ said:
(( اِتَّقُوْا اللّٰہَ وَاعْدِلُوْا فِیْ أَوْلَادِکُمْ ))
And said:
(( إِنِّیْ لَا أَشْہَدُ عَلٰی جَوْرٍ ))
Translation: "Fear Allah and be just among your children."
"I cannot be a witness to injustice."
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( مِنَ الْکَبَائِرِ شَتْمُ الرَّجُلِ وَالِدَیْہِ، یَسُبُّ أَبَا الرَّجُلِ فَیَسُبُّ أَبَاہُ ، وَیَسُبُّ أُمَّہُ فَیَسُبُّ أُمَّہُ ))
Translation: “One of the major sins is that a man insults his parents (i.e., insults someone’s parents and in return, that person insults his parents).”
Children should be accustomed to cleanliness of the body, clothing, and home, and taught to wash their hands before and after eating.
Parents should teach their children the Holy Quran, even striving for memorization. Teach them the Hadith of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, the biography of the Prophet, and Islamic beliefs so that they may succeed in this world and the Hereafter.
Allah Almighty says:
﴿ یَا أَیُّہَا النَّبِیُّ قُلْ لِأَزْوَاجِکَ وَبَنَاتِکَ وَنِسَائِ الْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ یُدْنِیْنَ عَلَیْہِنَّ مِنْ جَلاَبِیْبِہِنَّ ذٰلِکَ أَدْنیٰ أَنْ یُّعْرَفْنَ فَلاَ یُؤْذَیْنَ﴾
Translation: “O Prophet! Tell your wives, your daughters, and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close around them; that will be better, so that they may be recognized and not harmed.”
Children should be protected from watching films and obscene literature and encouraged towards the Quran, the biography of the Prophet, and the biographies of the Companions رضي الله عنهم.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( مَثَلُ الْجَلِیْسِ الصَّالِحِ وَالسُّوْئِ کَحَامِلِ الْمِسْکِ وَنَافِخِ الْکِیْرِ... ))
Translation: “The example of a good and a bad companion is like that of a musk seller and a blacksmith...”
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( لَیَکُوْنَنَّ مِنْ أُمَّتِیْ أَقْوَامٌ یَسْتَحِلُّوْنَ الْحِرَ وَالْحَرِیْرَ وَالْخَمْرَ وَالْمَعَازِفَ ))
Translation: “There will be some people from my Ummah who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, silk, alcohol, and musical instruments as lawful.”
Allah Almighty says:
﴿أَلاَ بِذِکْرِ اللّٰہِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوْبُ﴾
Translation: “Beware! It is in the remembrance of Allah that hearts find rest.”
Allah Almighty says:
﴿رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّیَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْیُنٍ وَّاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِیْنَ إِمَامًا﴾
Translation: “Our Lord! Grant us from among our wives and offspring the joy of our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( ثَلَاثُ دَعَوَاتٍ یُسْتَجَابُ لَہُنَّ... دَعْوَۃُ الْوَالِدِ لِوَلَدِہٖ ))
Translation: “Three supplications are certainly accepted... the supplication of a father for his children.”
The upbringing of children is not merely a social duty but a significant religious responsibility. Those parents who provide their children with the correct teachings of the religion, strive for their betterment, and continuously pray to Allah for them, will be successful in this world and will also attain success in the Hereafter. Those who neglect this responsibility will have to answer before Allah.
We pray to Allah that He makes our children righteous, pious, the coolness of our eyes, and a source of provision for us in the Hereafter. Ameen.
Children are a trust from the parents, and their upbringing is among the fundamental responsibilities of the parents. Parents must understand that merely providing sustenance, clothing, and comforts is not enough; rather, religious and moral education is also an obligation.
Allah, the Exalted, says:
﴿یَا أَیُّہَا الَّذِیْنَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَکُمْ وَأَہْلِیْکُمْ نَارًا وَّقُودُہَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَۃُ عَلَیْْہَا مَلَائِکَۃٌ غِلَاظٌ شِدَادٌ لَّا یَعْصُونَ اللّٰہَ مَا أَمَرَہُمْ وَیَفْعَلُونَ مَا یُؤْمَرُونَ ﴾
Reference: (At-Tahrim 66:6)
Translation: “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.”
This verse indicates that it is obligatory for the believers to ensure the reform and education of their families so that all may be saved from Hellfire.
Every Person is Responsible for Their Charges
It is narrated from Hazrat Abdullah bin Umar رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( كُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَّسْئُوْلٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ،فَالْإِمَامُ رَاعٍ،وَهُوَ مَسْئُوْلٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ، وَالرَّجُلُ رَاعٍ فِيْ أَهْلِهِ،وَهُوَ مَسْئُوْلٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ،وَالْمَرْأَةُ رَاعِيَةٌ فِيْ بَيْتِ زَوْجِهَا،وَهِيَ مَسْئُوْلَةٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهَا…فَكُلُّكُمْ رَاعٍ وَكُلُّكُمْ مَسْئُوْلٌ عَنْ رَعِيَّتِهِ ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari, Al-Jumu'ah, Chapter on Jumu'ah in Villages and Cities: 893, Sahih Muslim: 1829)
Translation: “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock... A man is the shepherd of his family, and a woman is the shepherd in her husband's house... So each of you is a shepherd, and each of you will be questioned about your flock.”
This means that parents will certainly be asked how far they have gone in the Islamic upbringing of their children.
Deceiving One's Flock is a Cause of Being Deprived of Paradise
It is narrated from Hazrat Maqal bin Yasar رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( مَا مِنْ عَبْدٍ يَسْتَرْعِيْهِ اللّٰهُ رَعِيَّةً ، يَمُوْتُ يَوْمَ يَمُوْتُ وَهُوَ غَاشٌّ لِرَعِيَّتِهِ ، إِلَّا حَرَّمَ اللّٰهُ عَلَيْهِ الْجَنَّةَ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 7150, Sahih Muslim: 142)
Translation: “Whoever Allah appoints as a guardian over a flock, and he deceives them and dies in that state, Allah will make Paradise forbidden for him.”
This is a stern warning for parents not to neglect their benevolence towards their children.
Righteous Children are a Continuous Charity for Parents
It is narrated from Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( إِذَا مَاتَ الْإِنْسَانُ انْقَطَعَ عَنْهُ عَمَلُهُ إِلَّا مِنْ ثَلاَثٍ : صَدَقَةٍ جَارِيَةٍ ، أَوْ عِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ ، أَوْ وَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُوْ لَهُ))
Reference: (Sahih Muslim: 1631)
Translation: “When a person dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: a continuous charity, beneficial knowledge, or a righteous child who prays for him.”
Thus, it is the responsibility of parents to raise their children righteously so that they become a source of benefit for them in the Hereafter.
Children are Born on the Fitrah of Islam
It is narrated from Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه that the Noble Prophet ﷺ said:
(( مَا مِنْ مَوْلُوْدٍ إِلَّا يُوْلَدُ عَلَى الْفِطْرَةِ،فَأَبَوَاهُ يُهَوِّدَانِهِ وَ يُنَصِّرَانِهِ وَ يُمَجِّسَانِهِ ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 1359, Sahih Muslim: 2658)
Translation: “Every child is born on the Fitrah (Islam), then his parents make him a Jew, a Christian, or a Magian.”
This means that the child possesses the ability to accept the truth; the ultimate decision is influenced by the upbringing of the parents and the environment of the home.
The Ten Advisories of Luqman to His Son
Allah Almighty states:
﴿وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَانُ لِابْنِهِ وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُ يَا بُنَيَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِاللّٰهِ إِنَّ الشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيْمٌ﴾
Reference: (Luqman 31:13)
Translation: “And when Luqman said to his son while advising him: O my beloved son! Do not associate anything with Allah, for indeed, associating others with Him is a great injustice.”
This is the first and foremost advice: to correct the creed, teach monotheism, protect from every form of polytheism, and instill in the hearts of children only hope, fear, and trust in Allah.
Good Treatment of Parents and No Obedience in Polytheism
Allah Almighty also clarifies the rights of parents in the context of Luqman's advice:
﴿وَوَصَّیْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَیْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُ وَهْنًا عَلَی وَهْنٍ وَّفِصَالُهُ فِیْ عَامَیْنِ أَنِ اشْكُرْ لِیْ وَلِوَالِدَیْكَ إِلَیَّ الْمَصِیْرُ. وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَی أَن تُشْرِكَ بِیْ مَا لَیْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِیْ الدُّنْیَا مَعْرُوفًا وَّاتَّبِعْ سَبِیْلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَیَّ ثُمَّ إِلَیَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ﴾
Reference: (Luqman 31:15-14)
Translation: "And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do."
From these verses, it is understood that obedience and service to parents is obligatory, but if they command shirk or disobedience, then obedience is not required.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ also clarified this principle:
(( لَا طَاعَةَ لِأَحَدٍ فِیْ مَعْصِیَةِ اللّٰهِ ، إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَةُ فِیْ الْمَعْرُوفِ ))
Reference: (Muttafaqun Alayh)
Translation: "There is no obedience to anyone in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in goodness."
Certainty of Allah's Knowledge and Surveillance: Even the Smallest Thing Will Be Brought Forth
Then Luqman assured his son of Allah's complete knowledge:
﴿یَا بُنَیَّ إِنَّهَا إِن تَكُ مِثْقَالَ حَبَّةٍ مِّنْ خَرْدَلٍ فَتَكُن فِیْ صَخْرَةٍ أَوْ فِیْ السَّمَاوَاتِ أَوْ فِی الْأَرْضِ یَأْتِ بِهَا اللّٰهُ إِنَّ اللّٰهُ لَطِیْفٌ خَبِیْرٌ﴾
Reference: (Luqman 31:16)
Translation: "O my dear son! If there is [even] the weight of a mustard seed and it is within a rock or in the heavens or in the earth, Allah will bring it forth. Indeed, Allah is Subtle and Acquainted."
This is a very fundamental principle of education that children should be instilled with the certainty that Allah knows every good and every evil, thus it is essential to continuously encourage them towards good and instill a hatred for evil.
Prayer, Enjoining Good, Forbidding Evil, and Patience
Luqman's next advice:
﴿یَا بُنَیَّ أَقِمِ الصَّلَاۃَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَانْهَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَاصْبِرْ عَلَی مَا أَصَابَكَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ﴾
Reference: (Luqman 31:17)
Translation: “O my beloved son! Establish prayer, enjoin good, forbid evil, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, this is of the matters requiring determination.”
Here are four important training matters:
❀ Adherence to prayer
❀ Invitation to goodness
❀ Prevention of evil
❀ Patience in adversity
It is especially necessary for parents to teach their children the correct method of ablution, purification, and prayer practically, and to adhere to it themselves, as merely giving orders without practicing has a negative impact on children.
It is narrated from Abu Abdullah Ibn Amr رضي الله عنه that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( مُرُوْا أَوْلَادَكُمْ بِالصَّلَاۃِ وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ سَبْعِ سِنِیْنَ،وَاضْرِبُوْهُمْ عَلَیْهَا وَهُمْ أَبْنَاءُ عَشْرِ سِنِیْنَ ))
Reference: (Ahmad, Abu Dawood. Sahih al-Jami' al-Albani:5868)
Translation: “When your children reach the age of seven, command them to pray, and when they reach ten (and do not pray), then strike them for it.”
Similarly, children should also be taught to invite their peers towards goodness instead of engaging in frivolous conversations and to encourage each other to avoid evil, and to exercise patience and endurance in difficulties.
Ethics: Arrogance, Demeanor, and Etiquette of Speech
Then Luqman taught the children about ethics and social manners:
﴿وَلَا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمْشِ فِیْ الْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا إِنَّ اللّٰهُ لَا یُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ٭وَاقْصِدْ فِیْ مَشْیِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِیْرِ﴾
Reference: (Luqman 31:18-19)
Translation: “And do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed, Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful. And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice. Indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the braying of donkeys.”
These four pieces of advice teach children that:
◈ Do not belittle others
◈ Avoid arrogance and pride
◈ Maintain moderation in demeanor
◈ Observe etiquette in speech and tone
The Prophet ﷺ and the Education of Children: Ten Great Pieces of Advice for Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه
The Noble Prophet ﷺ taught every individual of the Ummah about the religion, even imparting the fundamental beliefs and reliance on Allah to children.
Hazrat Abdullah ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه narrates that one day I was sitting behind the Messenger of Allah ﷺ on his mount, and he ﷺ said:
(( یَا غُلَامُ ! أَلَا أُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ یَنْفَعُكَ اللّٰهُ بِهِنَّ؟))
Translation: “O child! Shall I not teach you a few words through which Allah will benefit you?”
Then he ﷺ taught these great principles:
➊ (( اِحْفَظِ اللّٰهَ یَحْفَظْكَ))
Translation: “Safeguard (the religion of) Allah, and He will safeguard you.”
➋ (( اِحْفَظِ اللّٰهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ))
Translation: “Be mindful of the limits of Allah, and you will find Him with you.”
➌ (( إِذَا سَأَلْتَ فَاسْأَلِ اللّٰهَ ))
Translation: “When you ask, ask only Allah.”
➍ (( وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْتَ فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللّٰهِ ))
Translation: “When you seek help, seek help only from Allah.”
➎ (( وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الْأُمَّةَ لَوِ اجْتَمَعَتْ عَلٰی أَنْ یَّنْفَعُوْكَ بِشَیْءٍ،لَمْ یَنْفَعُوْكَ إِلَّا بِشَیْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللّٰهُ لَكَ،وَإِنِ اجْتَمَعُوْا عَلٰی أَنْ یَّضُرُّوْكَ بِشَیْءٍ لَمْ یَضُرُّوْكَ إِلَّا بِشَیْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللّٰهُ عَلَیْكَ))
Translation: “Know! If the entire Ummah gathers to benefit you, they can only provide you with what Allah has decreed for you, and if the entire Ummah gathers to harm you, they can only harm you with what Allah has decreed for you.”
➏ (( رُفِعَتِ الْأَقْلَامُ وَجَفَّتِ الصُّحُفُ))
Translation: “The pens have been lifted, and the pages have dried.”
➐ (( تَعَرَّفْ إِلَی اللّٰهِ فِیْ الرَّخَاءِ یَعْرِفْكَ فِیْ الشِّدَّةِ ))
Translation: “Recognize Allah in times of ease, and He will recognize you in times of hardship.”
➑ (( وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ مَا أَخْطَأَكَ لَمْ یَكُنْ لِیُصِیبَكَ وَمَا أَصَابَكَ لَمْ یَكُنْ لِیُخْطِئَكَ))
Translation: “What has missed you was never meant to reach you, and what has reached you was never meant to miss you.”
➒ (( وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ النَّصْرَ مَعَ الصَّبْرِ ، وَأَنَّ الْفَرَجَ مَعَ الْكَرْبِ))
Translation: “Help comes with patience, and with hardship comes ease.”
➓ (( وَأَنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ یُسْرًا ))
Translation: “And indeed, with hardship comes ease.”
Reference: (Ahmad: 2804. Authenticated by Al-Arna'ut. Sunan al-Tirmidhi: 2516. Authenticated by Al-Albani)
These admonitions constitute a comprehensive curriculum of Tawheed (Oneness of Allah), Tawakkul (Trust in Allah), Qadr (Divine Decree), and Sabr (Patience) that parents should instill in their children's minds.
Expression of Affection and Love Towards Children
Parents should treat their children with love, compassion, and gentleness, as harshness and indifference break the hearts of children.
Hazrat Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه narrates that once the Messenger of Allah ﷺ kissed his grandson Hazrat Hasan رضي الله عنه. A companion, Hazrat Aqra' bin Habis رضي الله عنه, said: "I have ten children, and I have never kissed any of them." The Noble Prophet ﷺ replied:
(( مَن لَّا یَرْحَمُ لَا یُرْحَمُ ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5997, Sahih Muslim: 2318)
Translation: "He who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy."
Similarly, Hazrat Aisha رضي الله عنها narrates that some Bedouins came to the service of the Noble Prophet ﷺ and said: "Do you kiss your children?" You ﷺ and the companions رضي الله عنهم replied: "Yes." They said: "We do not kiss our children." The Prophet ﷺ then said:
(( أَوَ أَمْلِکُ إِنْ کَانَ اللّٰہُ نَزَعَ مِنْکُمُ الرَّحْمَۃَ ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5998, Sahih Muslim: 2317)
Translation: "If Allah has removed mercy from your hearts, what can I do?"
And Hazrat Buraidah رضي الله عنه narrates that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was delivering a sermon when Hazrat Hasan رضي الله عنه and Hazrat Husayn رضي الله عنه came wearing red shirts and stumbling. He ﷺ descended from the pulpit, picked them up, and said:
﴿ إِنَّمَا أَمْوَالُکُمْ وَأَوْلاَدُکُمْ فِتْنَۃٌ ﴾
Translation: "Indeed, your wealth and your children are a trial."
Reference: (Sunan Abi Dawood: 1109, Sahih al-Jami' al-Albani: 3757)
These incidents illustrate that showing love and attention to children is a Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ.
Fulfilling the Rights of Children
It is essential to give children their rights, no matter how small they may be.
Hazrat Suhail bin Sa'd رضي الله عنه narrates that a drink was presented to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. On your right side sat a child and on your left side sat elderly people. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to the child:
(( أَتَأْذَنُ لِیْ أَنْ أُعْطِیَ ہٰؤُلَائِ ? ))
Translation: “Do you allow me to give this drink to the elderly people first?”
The child replied:
(( وَاللّٰہِ یَا رَسُوْلَ اللّٰہِ ! لَا أُوْثِرُ بِنَصِیْبِیْ مِنْکَ أَحَدًا))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari:5620, Sahih Muslim:2030)
Translation: “By Allah! O Messenger of Allah! I cannot prefer anyone over my share.”
Thus, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ gave the drink to that child. This indicates that the rights of children should be respected.
Permission for Permissible Play and Recreation
Islam permits permissible play and recreation.
Hazrat Anas رضي الله عنه narrates that my younger brother used to play with a bird. The Noble Prophet ﷺ would jokingly say:
(( یَا أَبَا عُمَیْر ! مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَیْر ? ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari:6129, Sahih Muslim:2150)
Translation: “O Abu Umayr! What happened to that little bird?”
Similarly, the brothers of Hazrat Yusuf عليه السلام said to Hazrat Yaqub عليه السلام:
﴿ أَرْسِلْہُ مَعَنَا غَدًا یَّرْتَعْ وَیَلْعَبْ وَإِنَّا لَہُ لَحَافِظُوْنَ﴾
Reference: (Yusuf 12:12)
Translation: “Send him with us tomorrow so that he may eat, drink, and play, and we will take care of him.”
This is evidence that there is no restriction on permissible play, provided it is within the limits of Shari'ah.
➊ Teaching the Kalimah Tayyibah
Children should be taught the Kalimah:
لَا إِلٰہَ إلِاَّ اللّٰہُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَّسُوْلُ اللّٰہ
Translation: “There is no deity worthy of worship except Allah, and Muhammad ﷺ is the Messenger of Allah.”
Allah Almighty's command is:
﴿وَاِلٰھُکُمْ اِلٰہٌ وَّاحِدٌ لَا اِلٰہَ اِلَّا ھُوَ الرَّحْمٰنُ الرَّحِیْمُ ﴾
Reference: (Al-Baqarah 2:163)
Translation: “And your deity is one deity. There is no deity worthy of worship except Him, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.”
The meaning of Muhammad رسول اللہ is that you ﷺ are the last Prophet, and obedience to you is obligatory.
Allah the Exalted says:
﴿ فَلاَ وَرَبِّکَ لاَ یُؤْمِنُوْنَ حَتّٰی یُحَکِّمُوْکَ فِیْمَا شَجَرَ بَیْنَہُمْ ثُمَّ لاَ یَجِدُوْا فِیْ أَنْفُسِہِمْ حَرَجًا مِمَّا قَضَیْتَ وَیُسَلِّمُوْا تَسْلِیْمًا ﴾
Reference: (An-Nisa 4:65)
Translation: "By your Lord, they will not believe until they make you judge in all their disputes, and then find no discomfort in their hearts regarding your verdict and accept it with full submission."
➋ Teaching the Pillars of Islam
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( بُنِیَ الْإِسْلَامُ عَلٰی خَمْسٍ:شَھَادَۃِ أَن لَّا إِلٰہَ إلِاَّ اللّٰہُ وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُہُ وَرَسُوْلُہُ،وَإِقَامِ الصَّلَاۃِ،وَإِیْتَائِ الزَّکَاۃِ،وَحَجِّ بَیْتِ اللّٰہِ ،وَصَوْمِ رَمَضَانَ))
Reference: (Muttafaqun Alayh)
Translation: "Islam is built upon five pillars: the testimony that there is no deity but Allah and Muhammad ﷺ is His servant and Messenger, establishing prayer, giving zakat, performing the pilgrimage to the House (Kaaba), and fasting in Ramadan."
Verses for each pillar:
﴿ وَأْمُرْ أَہْلَکَ بِالصَّلاَۃِ وَاصْطَبِرْ عَلَیْہَا﴾
Reference: (Ta-Ha 20:132)
Translation: "And enjoin your family to prayer and be steadfast therein."
﴿وَأَقِیْمُواْ الصَّلاَۃَ وَآتُواْ الزَّکَاۃَ﴾
Reference: (Al-Baqarah 2:43)
Translation: "Establish prayer and give zakat."
﴿یَا أَیُّہَا الَّذِیْنَ آمَنُواْ کُتِبَ عَلَیْکُمُ الصِّیَامُ﴾
Reference: (Al-Baqarah 2:183)
Translation: "O you who have believed! Decreed upon you is fasting."
﴿ وَلِلّٰہِ عَلَی النَّاسِ حِجُّ الْبَیْتِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ إِلَیْہِ سَبِیْلاً ﴾
Reference: (Aali 'Imran 3:97)
Translation: "And (due) to Allah from the people is pilgrimage to the House - for whoever is able to make the journey."
➌ Teaching the Pillars of Faith
(( أَنْ تُؤْمِنَ بِاللّٰہِ،وَمَلَائِکَتِہٖ،وَکُتُبِہٖ،وَرُسُلِہٖ،وَالْیَوْمِ الْآخِرِ، وَالْقَدْرِ خَیْرِہٖ وَشَرِّہٖ مِنَ اللّٰہِ ))
Reference: (Sahih Muslim: 8)
Translation: "Faith is to believe in Allah, His angels, His books, His messengers, the Last Day, and in predestination, both the good and the bad of it."
﴿ذَلِکَ بِأَنَّ اللّٰہَ ہُوَ الْحَقُّ﴾
Reference: (Luqman 31:30)
Translation: "This is because Allah is the Truth, and what they invoke besides Him is falsehood."
﴿یُسَبِّحُونَ اللَّیْلَ وَالنَّہَارَ لَا یَفْتُرُونَ ﴾
Reference: (Al-Anbiya 21:20)
Translation: "They (the angels) glorify Him night and day and do not become weary."
﴿زَعَمَ الَّذِیْنَ کَفَرُوا أَن لَّن یُبْعَثُوا﴾
Reference: (At-Taghabun 64:7)
Translation: "The disbelievers think that they will not be resurrected. Say, 'Yes! By my Lord, you will surely be resurrected.'"
﴿ وَکُلَّ شَیْئٍ أَحْصَیْنَاہُ فِیْ إِمَامٍ مُّبِیْنٍ ﴾
Reference: (Ya-Sin 36:12)
Translation: "And We have certainly created all things and have recorded them in a clear register."
➍ Do Not Lie to Your Children
Parents should never lie to their children, as children learn what they see and hear.
Hazrat Abdullah bin Amir رضي الله عنه narrates that one day the Messenger of Allah ﷺ visited our home. My mother called me and said: Come, I will give you something. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ asked: What were you going to give him? She said: I intended to give him a date. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( أَمَا إِنَّکِ لَوْ لَمْ تُعْطِیْہِ شَیْئًا کُتِبَتْ عَلَیْکَ کِذْبَۃً ))
Reference: (أبو داؤد، واللفظ لہ)
Translation: "Beware! If you had not given him anything, a lie would have been recorded against you."
Similarly, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( آیَۃُ الْمُنَافِقِ ثَلَاثٌ : إِذَا حَدَّثَ کَذَبَ ، وَإِذَا وَعَدَ أَخْلَفَ ، وَإِذَا اؤْتُمِنَ خَان ))
Reference: (متفق علیہ)
Translation: "There are three signs of a hypocrite: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted, he betrays."
Therefore, the teaching of truthfulness should begin at home.
➎ Teaching the Etiquette of Eating
Children should be taught the Islamic etiquette of eating and drinking.
Hazrat Umar bin Abi Salmah رضي الله عنه narrates that I was a child and was eating with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, my hand was moving around the plate, and he ﷺ said:
(( یَا غُلَامُ ! سَمِّ اللّٰہَ ، وَکُلْ بِیَمِیْنِکَ ، وَکُلْ مِمَّا یَلِیْکَ ))
Reference: (صحیح البخاری:5376، صحیح مسلم:2022)
Translation: "O child! Say Bismillah, eat with your right hand, and eat from what is in front of you."
➏ Justice and Fairness Among Children
Hazrat Nu'man bin Bashir رضي الله عنه narrates that my father wanted to give me some wealth. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ asked: Have you given the same to all your children? He said: No. Then he ﷺ said:
(( اِتَّقُوْا اللّٰہَ وَاعْدِلُوْا فِیْ أَوْلَادِکُمْ ))
And said:
(( إِنِّیْ لَا أَشْہَدُ عَلٰی جَوْرٍ ))
Reference: (صحیح البخاری :2650، صحیح مسلم :1623)
Translation: "Fear Allah and be just among your children."
"I cannot be a witness to injustice."
➐ Prohibition of Insulting Language
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( مِنَ الْکَبَائِرِ شَتْمُ الرَّجُلِ وَالِدَیْہِ، یَسُبُّ أَبَا الرَّجُلِ فَیَسُبُّ أَبَاہُ ، وَیَسُبُّ أُمَّہُ فَیَسُبُّ أُمَّہُ ))
Reference: (Muttafaqun Alayh)
Translation: “One of the major sins is that a man insults his parents (i.e., insults someone’s parents and in return, that person insults his parents).”
➑ Teaching Cleanliness
Children should be accustomed to cleanliness of the body, clothing, and home, and taught to wash their hands before and after eating.
Prioritizing Religious Education
Parents should teach their children the Holy Quran, even striving for memorization. Teach them the Hadith of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, the biography of the Prophet, and Islamic beliefs so that they may succeed in this world and the Hereafter.
Teaching Daughters About Hijab
Allah Almighty says:
﴿ یَا أَیُّہَا النَّبِیُّ قُلْ لِأَزْوَاجِکَ وَبَنَاتِکَ وَنِسَائِ الْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ یُدْنِیْنَ عَلَیْہِنَّ مِنْ جَلاَبِیْبِہِنَّ ذٰلِکَ أَدْنیٰ أَنْ یُّعْرَفْنَ فَلاَ یُؤْذَیْنَ﴾
Reference: (Al-Ahzab 33:59)
Translation: “O Prophet! Tell your wives, your daughters, and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close around them; that will be better, so that they may be recognized and not harmed.”
Avoiding Futile Pursuits
Children should be protected from watching films and obscene literature and encouraged towards the Quran, the biography of the Prophet, and the biographies of the Companions رضي الله عنهم.
Protection from Bad Company
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( مَثَلُ الْجَلِیْسِ الصَّالِحِ وَالسُّوْئِ کَحَامِلِ الْمِسْکِ وَنَافِخِ الْکِیْرِ... ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari:5534)
Translation: “The example of a good and a bad companion is like that of a musk seller and a blacksmith...”
Prohibition of Singing and Music
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( لَیَکُوْنَنَّ مِنْ أُمَّتِیْ أَقْوَامٌ یَسْتَحِلُّوْنَ الْحِرَ وَالْحَرِیْرَ وَالْخَمْرَ وَالْمَعَازِفَ ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari)
Translation: “There will be some people from my Ummah who will consider illegal sexual intercourse, silk, alcohol, and musical instruments as lawful.”
Allah Almighty says:
﴿أَلاَ بِذِکْرِ اللّٰہِ تَطْمَئِنُّ الْقُلُوْبُ﴾
Reference: (Ar-Ra'd 13:28)
Translation: “Beware! It is in the remembrance of Allah that hearts find rest.”
Praying for Offspring
Allah Almighty says:
﴿رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّیَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْیُنٍ وَّاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِیْنَ إِمَامًا﴾
Reference: (Al-Furqan 25:74)
Translation: “Our Lord! Grant us from among our wives and offspring the joy of our eyes and make us an example for the righteous.”
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( ثَلَاثُ دَعَوَاتٍ یُسْتَجَابُ لَہُنَّ... دَعْوَۃُ الْوَالِدِ لِوَلَدِہٖ ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Jami:3033)
Translation: “Three supplications are certainly accepted... the supplication of a father for his children.”
Conclusion
The upbringing of children is not merely a social duty but a significant religious responsibility. Those parents who provide their children with the correct teachings of the religion, strive for their betterment, and continuously pray to Allah for them, will be successful in this world and will also attain success in the Hereafter. Those who neglect this responsibility will have to answer before Allah.
We pray to Allah that He makes our children righteous, pious, the coolness of our eyes, and a source of provision for us in the Hereafter. Ameen.
