Islamic Boundaries on Expressing Affection to Non-Mahrams
Derived from: Fatawa Ulama-e-Hadith, Kitab al-Salah, Volume 1❖ Question:
Is it permissible for an elderly non-mahram man or woman to place their hand on the head or shoulder of a young man or woman as a gesture of affection, as is commonly practiced in Punjabi culture?
❖ Shar'i Ruling:
This act is strictly impermissible and prohibited in Shari'ah.
The reasons for this ruling are outlined below:
❖ Non-Mahram Status in Islam
✔ A person who is not a mahram, whether elderly or young, remains non-mahram according to Shari‘ah.
✔ Any form of physical interaction that is exclusively permitted between mahrams (such as touching the head or shoulder) is forbidden between non-mahrams.
❖ Possibility of Marriage as the Basis of Prohibition
✔ Since marriage is permissible between non-mahrams, physical intimacy (even seemingly harmless gestures) is not allowed.
✔ Actions such as stroking the head or shoulder, even with good intentions like prayer or affection, violate the boundaries set by Islamic law.
❖ Islamically Appropriate Alternatives for Expressing Respect and Affection
Islam encourages the expression of love and respect within Shar‘i limits. Among the permissible and reward-bearing practices are:
◈ Offering Salaam (Greeting of Peace)
→ Saying السلام علیکم is Sunnah, earns reward, and is a wholesome way to express love and goodwill.
❖ Summary
It is impermissible for a non-mahram man or woman to touch the head or shoulder of a young non-mahram as a form of affection, regardless of cultural customs.
Instead, one should adopt Islamic practices such as offering salaam to express respect and affection, thereby promoting a modest and Shari‘ah-compliant environment.