1. The Sunnah and Wisdom Behind Visiting Graves
- Initially, the Prophet ﷺ forbade visiting graves.
- Later, he permitted it for men, saying:
“I had forbidden you from visiting graves, but now visit them, for indeed they remind you of the Hereafter.” (Muslim 977) - Purpose: To remember death, reflect on the transient nature of life, and soften the heart toward obedience.
2. Sunnah Supplication When Visiting Graves
The Prophet ﷺ taught to say:
“As-salāmu ‘alaykum, O dwellers of the abode of believing people. Indeed we, if Allah wills, will be joining you soon. May Allah have mercy upon those who went ahead of us and those who remain. We ask Allah for well-being for us and for you. O Allah, do not deprive us of their reward, and do not put us to trial after them, and forgive us and them.” (Muslim 974)
3. Ruling for Women
A. Prohibition Based on Explicit Text
- The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Allah has cursed the women who frequently visit graves, and those who take them as places of worship, and those who place lights upon them.”
(Abu Dāwūd 3236, Tirmidhī 320, Nasā’ī 2045, Ibn Mājah 1585) - This ḥadīth is evidence for the haram ruling on women visiting graves intentionally.
B. Intent Matters
- If a woman goes intentionally for visitation → Haram and incurs Allah’s curse.
- If she passes by unintentionally and greets the graves → Permissible and she may say the prescribed salām.
4. Scholarly Discussion on Exceptions
- Some scholars view the prohibition as an early ruling, later abrogated for both men and women — with the condition that women maintain composure and avoid wailing or other prohibited actions.
- In such a case, visiting would be permissible for women who:
- Go without display (tabarruj) or mixing (ikhtilāṭ).
- Avoid lamentation, crying aloud, or touching the graves.
5. Summary Table
| Situation | Ruling for Women |
|---|---|
| Intentionally setting out to visit graves | Haram (based on curse in hadith) |
| Passing by without intent and greeting | Permissible |
| Visiting while committing prohibited acts (wailing, touching, tabarruj) | Haram |
| Visiting quietly, for reflection, within shar‘i limits (per scholars who allow) | Disputed, some permit conditionally |
Conclusion:
The safer and stronger view is that women should avoid intentional grave visitation, due to the explicit curse in the ḥadīth, unless following the minority view that allows it under strict shar‘i conditions and free from all prohibited behavior.
وَالله أعلم بالصواب
