Responsibilities of Parents Regarding the Marriage of Adult Children

Authored by: Shaykh Mubashar Ahmad Rabbani (حفظہ اللہ)

Question​

I read in a religious journal that if children reach adulthood, parents should arrange their marriage promptly to prevent immorality. If parents fail to do so, they will bear the sin of any immorality that occurs. Can you clarify this issue?

Answer​

It is indeed correct that when children reach adulthood, parents should expedite their marriage to safeguard them from falling into sin. Islam emphasizes this responsibility on parents to ensure their children remain morally upright.

Evidence from Ahadith​

1. Abu Sa’id al-Khudri and Abdullah bin Abbas (رضي الله عنهم) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
   
   “When a child is born, the parent should give them a good name, teach them good manners, and when they reach adulthood, arrange their marriage. If the child commits a sin after reaching adulthood due to the parent not arranging their marriage, the sin will fall on the parent.”
   (Shu’ab al-Iman by Al-Bayhaqi, Hadith 8666)
2. Umar bin Khattab and Anas bin Malik (رضي الله عنهما) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said:
   
   “It is written in the Torah: ‘If a daughter reaches the age of twelve, and her father does not arrange her marriage, and she commits a sin, the father will bear the burden of the sin.’”
   (Shu’ab al-Iman, Hadith 8680)

Scholarly Analysis​

1. The first narration has been classified as weak by Allama Al-Albani in Silsilat al-Ahadith al-Da’ifah (Vol. 2, Pg. 63).
2. The narration attributed to Umar (رضي الله عنه) contains Abu Bakr bin Abi Maryam in the chain, who is considered weak.
3. The narration of Anas (رضي الله عنه) has been deemed shaadh (irregular) by Imam Al-Hakim.

Ruling and Conclusion​

While the narrations are weak, the underlying principle remains valid:

• If a parent is capable of arranging their adult child’s marriage but neglects to do so, they are at fault.
• Parents bear responsibility if their negligence leads to the child committing sins.

The warnings in these narrations serve as a deterrent to ensure parents fulfill their obligations. Therefore, it is essential for parents to arrange suitable marriages for their adult children at the earliest opportunity to protect them from engaging in immoral behavior.

Actionable Advice:

• Parents should actively seek a suitable match for their children as soon as they reach adulthood.
• Delay in marriage without valid reasons may lead to undesirable consequences, which could have been prevented with timely action.