Question: What conditions can a woman impose on her prospective husband before marriage? Is it permissible for her to demand a separate house to avoid interaction with her husband's brothers and to ensure the proper Islamic upbringing of her children?
However, if this demand is not based on such legitimate concerns, then she should remember the verse of Allah:
«أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنْتُمْ مِنْ وُجْدِكُمْ»
"Lodge them where you dwell, according to your means."
[Surah At-Talaq: 6]
This means that a woman should not place undue financial pressure on her husband to provide a separate home if he cannot afford it. Among the best qualities of a righteous wife is to be economical and content with what her husband can provide within his capacity.
“O Abu Talhah! A man like you, who is honorable and wealthy, should not be rejected. However, the obstacle is that you are a disbeliever, and I am a Muslim. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a disbeliever.”
Abu Talhah reflected upon her response and embraced Islam. His conversion to Islam was accepted as her dowry (mahr). At that time, this was widely regarded as the best dowry ever given by a Muslim woman. This highlights the importance of prioritizing piety and righteousness in marriage over material conditions.
Conclusion:
A woman may stipulate conditions that align with Islamic principles and ensure her well-being, provided they are reasonable and do not place an undue burden on her husband. Additionally, she should seek a husband who is pious and God-fearing, as this is the foundation of a successful marriage.
(Shaykh Muqbil bin Hadi al-Wadi’i رحمه الله)
Answer:
If the woman's intention in seeking a separate house is to avoid inappropriate interaction (اختلاط) with her husband's male relatives, then it is permissible for her to stipulate this condition. This ensures her privacy, dignity, and the preservation of Islamic values within the household.However, if this demand is not based on such legitimate concerns, then she should remember the verse of Allah:
«أَسْكِنُوهُنَّ مِنْ حَيْثُ سَكَنْتُمْ مِنْ وُجْدِكُمْ»
"Lodge them where you dwell, according to your means."
[Surah At-Talaq: 6]
This means that a woman should not place undue financial pressure on her husband to provide a separate home if he cannot afford it. Among the best qualities of a righteous wife is to be economical and content with what her husband can provide within his capacity.
The Example of Umm Sulaym (رضي الله عنها)
The case of Umm Sulaym (رضي الله عنها) serves as a beautiful example for women. When Abu Talhah, who was not yet a Muslim, proposed to her, she replied:“O Abu Talhah! A man like you, who is honorable and wealthy, should not be rejected. However, the obstacle is that you are a disbeliever, and I am a Muslim. It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a disbeliever.”
Abu Talhah reflected upon her response and embraced Islam. His conversion to Islam was accepted as her dowry (mahr). At that time, this was widely regarded as the best dowry ever given by a Muslim woman. This highlights the importance of prioritizing piety and righteousness in marriage over material conditions.
Permissible and Recommended Conditions in Marriage
A woman may stipulate certain reasonable conditions in her marriage contract, such as:- Provision of Accommodation:
She may ask for a proper residence suitable for her needs. - Avoidance of Harmful Influences:
She may demand that the household be free from instruments of entertainment (e.g., musical instruments) or other items that could lead to moral or spiritual corruption for herself or her children. - Support in Seeking Beneficial Knowledge:
She may request her husband's assistance and encouragement in acquiring beneficial Islamic knowledge.
Choosing a Righteous Husband
A woman’s primary focus should be on selecting a righteous and pious husband. A man who fears Allah and is of good character is more likely to honor his commitments and fulfill the agreed-upon conditions. Conversely, an immoral or disobedient man might initially accept the conditions of the marriage contract but fail to uphold them later.Conclusion:
A woman may stipulate conditions that align with Islamic principles and ensure her well-being, provided they are reasonable and do not place an undue burden on her husband. Additionally, she should seek a husband who is pious and God-fearing, as this is the foundation of a successful marriage.
(Shaykh Muqbil bin Hadi al-Wadi’i رحمه الله)