Source: Khutbat Hafiz Muhammad Ishaq Zahid, Compiled by: Tauheed.com
In last Friday's sermon, the importance, benefits, and some principles of a successful married life were discussed, and it was clarified that the success of the spouses lies in fulfilling each other's rights and not depriving anyone of their rights. It was also mentioned that rights are of three types:
① Joint Rights
② Husband's Rights over Wife
③ Wife's Rights over Husband
Joint rights have already been discussed, now the remaining two types are described.
According to custom and tradition, serving the husband is the husband's right over the wife. It is narrated from Hazrat Husain bin Mihsan رضي الله عنه that his aunt came to the service of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. When she was free, the Prophet ﷺ asked: "Do you have a husband?" She said: "Yes." He ﷺ said: "How do you treat him?" She said: "I serve him in every way except when I am unable." Then the Prophet ﷺ said:
(( فَانْظُرِیْ أَیْنَ أَنْتِ مِنْہُ،فَإِنَّمَا ہُوَ جَنَّتُکِ وَنَارُکِ))
Translation: "Look carefully at where you stand in relation to your husband, for he is your Paradise and he is your Hell."
That is, if a woman takes care of her husband's service and rights, it is a cause for Paradise for her, and if she is negligent, there is a severe warning.
The virtuous women of this Ummah in the early times did not neglect serving their husbands. Hazrat Fatima رضي الله عنها (daughter of the Prophet ﷺ) used to serve Hazrat Ali رضي الله عنه, working so hard in the house that her hands would develop blisters from grinding flour. When prisoners of war arrived, she came to ask for a servant, but she did not find the Prophet ﷺ at home. Later, the Prophet ﷺ went to her house and said:
“ Shall I not tell you something that is better than a servant? When you go to bed, say Allahu Akbar 34 times, SubhanAllah 33 times, and Alhamdulillah 33 times, for that is better for you than a servant.”
And Hazrat Asma bint Abi Bakr رضي الله عنها narrates that Hazrat Zubair رضي الله عنه had neither property nor slaves, only a camel and a horse. I used to feed the horse, bring water on the camel, sew the bucket myself, knead the flour myself, but I did not know how to bake bread, so the Ansari women in the neighborhood would bake it. And the land that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ had given to Hazrat Zubair رضي الله عنه in fief was about two miles away, I used to collect date stones from there and carry them on my head…
These were both great female companions, yet they served their husbands. Therefore, the women of today—no matter how good their families or how wealthy they may be—are not superior to them; they too should adopt an attitude of service and cooperation.
The second right of the husband upon his wife is that she should obey him and not disobey his commands. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَۃُ خَمْسَہَا،وَصَامَتْ شَہْرَہَا،وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَہَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَہَا،قِیْلَ لَہَا: ادْخُلِیْ الْجَنَّۃَ مِنْ أَیِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّۃِ شِئْتِ ))
Translation: "When a woman performs her five prayers, fasts in Ramadan, protects her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter through whichever gate of Paradise you wish."
And regarding the best of women, it was said:
(( اَلَّتِیْ تَسُرُّہُ إِذَا نَظَرَ،وَتُطِیْعُہُ إِذَا أَمَرَ،وَلَا تُخَالِفُہُ فِیْ نَفْسِہَا وَمَالِہَا بِمَا یَکْرَہُ))
"She is the one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and does not disobey him in matters of herself and his wealth in anything he dislikes."
And a severe warning against disobedience:
(( اِثْنَانِ لَا تُجَاوِزُ صَلَاتُہُمَا رُؤُوْسَہُمَا… وَامْرَأَۃٌ عَصَتْ زَوْجَہَا حَتّٰی تَرْجِعَ ))
"The prayer of two people does not rise above their heads... and a woman who disobeys her husband, until she returns (to obedience)."
(( لَا طَاعَۃَ لِأَحَدٍ فِیْ مَعْصِیَۃِ اللّٰہِ ،إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَۃُ فِیْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ ))
"There is no obedience to anyone in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in good (Ma'roof) deeds."
(( لَا یَحِلُّ لِلْمَرْأَۃِ أَنْ تَصُوْمَ وَزَوْجُہَا شَاہِدٌ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِہٖ ))
"It is not permissible for a woman to fast (voluntarily) when her husband is present, except with his permission."
(( لَا تُنْفِقِ الْمَرْأَۃُ شَیْئًا مِنْ بَیْتِ زَوْجِہَا إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ زَوْجِہَا… قَالَ : ذَاکَ أَفْضَلُ أَمْوَالِنَا ))
"A woman should not spend anything from her husband's house (or his wealth) without her husband's permission." (The narrator said
"This is the most excellent of our wealth."
(( …وَلَا تَأْذَنَّ فِیْ بَیْتِہٖ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِہٖ ))
"And she should not allow anyone into his house except with his permission."
(( …فَأَمَّا حَقُّکُمْ عَلٰی نِسَائِکُمْ فَلَا یُوْطِئْنَ فُرُشَکُمْ مَنْ تَکْرَہُوْنَ،وَلَا یَأْذَنَّ فِیْ بُیُوْتِکُمْ لِمَنْ تَکْرَہُوْنَ ))
"And your right over your wives is that they should not allow anyone you dislike to come to your beds, and they should not allow anyone you dislike to enter your houses."
(( لَا یَنْظُرُ اللّٰہُ تَبَارَکَ وَتَعَالٰی إِلَی امْرَأَۃٍ لَا تَشْکُرُ لِزَوْجِہَا ، وَہِیَ لَا تَسْتَغْنِیْ عَنْہُ ))
"Allah Almighty does not look (with mercy) towards the woman who is ungrateful to her husband, even though she is dependent on him."
(( لَا یَصْلُحُ لِبَشَرٍ أَنْ یَّسْجُدَ لِبَشَرٍ،وَلَوْ صَلَحَ… لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَۃَ أَنْ تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِہَا لِعِظَمِ حَقِّہٖ عَلَیْہَا ))
"It is not permissible for any human being to prostrate to another human being, and if it were permissible (for anyone to prostrate to anyone), I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband, because of his great right over her."
(( اَلْمَرْأَۃُ لَا تُؤَدِّیْ حَقَّ اللّٰہِ حَتّٰی تُؤَدِّیَ حَقَّ زَوْجِہَا… ))
"A woman cannot fulfill Allah's right until she fulfills her husband's right."
(( حَقُّ الزَّوْجِ عَلٰی زَوْجَتِہٖ… ))
"The husband's right over his wife..."
After the husband's rights over his wife, now those rights are mentioned which are obligatory for the husband towards his wife, because the Sharia has prescribed rights and duties on both sides so that the home is protected from oppression, injustice, and imbalance.
The first right of the wife over her husband is that he should pay her the Mahr. Allah Almighty says:
﴿ وَآتُوا النِّسَائَ صَدُقَاتِہِنَّ نِحْلَۃً فَإِن طِبْنَ لَکُمْ عَن شَیْْئٍ مِّنْہُ نَفْسًا فَکُلُوہُ ہَنِیْئًا مَّرِیْئًا﴾
Translation: "And give the women [upon marriage] their [dower] gracefully. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then eat it with enjoyment and pleasure."
It is clear from this verse that paying the dowry is obligatory on the husband. If a woman willingly forgives some of it, then it is lawful for the man, but:
❀ To refuse to pay the dowry at all.
❀ Or to force the woman to forgive the dowry.
This is a serious crime and an injustice to the woman.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( أَیُّمَا رَجُلٍ تَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَۃً عَلٰی مَا قَلَّ مِنَ الْمَہْرِ أَوْ کَثُرَ، لَیْسَ فِیْ نَفْسِہٖ أَنْ یُّؤَدِّیَ إِلَیْہَا حَقَّہَا، خَدَعَہَا، فَمَاتَ وَلَمْ یُؤَدِّ إِلَیْہَا حَقَّہَا لَقِیَ اللّٰہَ یَوْمَ الْقِیَامَۃِ وَہُوَ زَانٍ))
Translation: "Whoever marries a woman with a dower, be it small or large, and has no intention of paying her right, then he deceives her. Then if he dies and is unable to pay her right, he will meet Allah on the Day of Resurrection as an adulterer."
Sometimes the husband pays the dowry, but the woman's father takes possession of it, even though the dowry is purely the wife's right. Yes, if the woman willingly gives it to her father, then it is permissible.
① The amount of dowry has not been specified by the Sharia.
The amount of dowry depends on the financial status of the person getting married. Each person should set a dowry that they can easily afford. To set an exorbitant dowry and then:
❀ Not pay it.
❀ Or embezzle a portion of it.
❀ Or force the woman to forgive it.
All of this is injustice. It is better to set a dowry according to one's means from the beginning.
Allah Almighty says:
﴿ لاَ یُکَلِّفُ اللّٰہُ نَفْسًا إِلاَّ وُسْعَہَا﴾
Translation: "Allah does not burden any soul beyond its capacity."
A marriage can be contracted in exchange for something of low value. As it is in the hadith:
(( اِلْتَمِسْ وَلَوْ خَاتَمًا مِنْ حَدِیْدٍ))
Translation: "Go, even if it is an iron ring, find it."
Then, when even a ring could not be found, the marriage was contracted in exchange for teaching a few surahs of the Quran.
Translation: "Go, teach her these surahs, I have married you to her in exchange for that."
Similarly, in the marriage of Hazrat Ali رضي الله عنه, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ fixed the dower in exchange for armor:
Translation (Conceptual): "Give something... Where is your Hutmi armor?... Give that to her."
This was the dower of Hazrat Fatima رضي الله عنها, and it makes it clear that even less dower is permissible.
② A small dower is recommended.
Although the amount is not fixed, encouragement is given for an easy and small dower.
(( خَیْرُ النِّکَاحِ أَیْسَرُہُ ))
Translation: "The best marriage is that which is easy."
(( خَیْرُ الصَّدَاقِ أَیْسَرُہُ ))
Translation: "The best dower is that which can be paid easily."
And the dower of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ:
Hazrat Aisha رضي الله عنها said that the Prophet ﷺ gave his wives twelve and a half Uqiyah of silver (five hundred dirhams) as dower.
Translation (Statement of Amount): "He ﷺ paid his wives twelve and a half Uqiyah of silver as dower, which is equal to five hundred dirhams."
(The numerical details in the text remain the same
According to some scholars, the weight of five hundred dirhams of silver is 1487.5 grams... Twelve dirhams of silver are equal to one dinar of gold... Forty-one and a half dinars... One dinar is approximately four and a quarter grams... Thus the weight is 176.375 grams... And Allah knows best.
And 'Abd al-Rahman bin 'Awf رضي الله عنه married with gold equivalent to the weight of a date stone, and the Prophet ﷺ congratulated him and ordered him to hold a Walima.
Imam Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله said:
"Whoever wants the Mahr of his daughter to be more than the Mahr of the daughters and wives of the Prophet ﷺ, even though they were the best women in the world, then that person is ignorant and foolish."
③ It is not desirable to set an exorbitant Mahr
A man married an Ansari woman and set four Uqiyah of silver as Mahr, so the Prophet ﷺ was surprised:
Translation (Concept): "Four Uqiyah! As if you were digging silver from the foot of this mountain!"
Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه also said that do not increase the Mahr too much... If it were an honor or piety, then the Prophet ﷺ would have been more entitled to it, but he ﷺ did not fix a Mahr of more than twelve Uqiyah.
Translation (Concept): "Do not set exorbitant Mehr for women..."
The second right of a wife upon her husband is that he provides her with sustenance, accommodation, clothing, and legitimate necessities according to his ability and custom.
It was said in the Khutbah Hajjat-ul-Wida:
(( وَلَہُنَّ عَلَیْکُمْ رِزْقُہُنَّ وَکِسْوَتُہُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ))
Translation: "And women have the right over you that you provide them with food and clothing according to custom."
And the narration of Hazrat Muawiyah al-Qushairi رضي الله عنه:
(( أَنْ تُطْعِمَہَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ،وَتَکْسُوَہَا إِذَا اکْتَسَیْتَ،وَلَا تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْہَ وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ،وَلَا تَہْجُرْ إِلَّا فِیْ الْبَیْتِ ))
Translation: "When you eat, feed her too, when you wear, clothe her too, do not hit her in the face, do not abuse her, and if you have to leave her, then leave her in the house."
If the husband corrects his intention, spending on his family also becomes charity:
(( …حَتّٰی مَا تَجْعَلُ فِیْ فِی امْرَأَتِکَ ))
Translation: "Even the morsel that you put in your wife's mouth will be rewarded."
(( إِذَا أَنْفَقَ الرَّجُلُ عَلٰی أَہْلِہٖ… کَانَتْ لَہُ صَدَقَۃً ))
Translation: "When a man spends on his family, intending to seek reward, it is charity for him."
(( …أَعْظَمُہَا أَجْرًا الَّذِیْ أَنْفَقْتَہُ عَلٰی أَہْلِکَ))
Translation: "The most rewarding dinar is the one you spend on your family."
Miserliness is reprehensible, and extravagance is also forbidden. Allah Almighty says:
﴿ وَالَّذِیْنَ إِذَا أَنفَقُوا لَمْ یُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ یَقْتُرُوا وَکَانَ بَیْْنَ ذَلِکَ قَوَامًا﴾
Translation: "And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate."
One of the rights of the wife upon her husband is that he lives with her in a good manner:
﴿وَعَاشِرُوہُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن کَرِہْتُمُوہُنَّ فَعَسَی أَن تَکْرَہُوْا شَیْْئًا وَّیَجْعَلَ اللّٰہُ فِیْہِ خَیْْرًا کَثِیْرًا﴾
Translation: "And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good."
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to treat his wives with kindness, console them, talk and joke with them, inquire about everyone's well-being after Isha, eat food, and stay according to the rights of each one—that is, he was the best example.
Here are a few hadiths about this:
(( أَکْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ… وَخِیَارُکُمْ خِیَارُکُمْ لِنِسَائِہِمْ ))
Translation: "The most complete of believers in faith is the one with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their women."
(( لَا یَفْرَکْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَۃً… ))
Translation: "A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another."
(( اِسْتَوْصُوْا بِالنِّسَائِ… ))
Translation: "Accept my advice regarding women... Woman was created from a rib... if you try to straighten it, you will break it... so treat women well."
(( فَاتَّقُوا اللّٰہَ فِی النِّسَائِ… ))
Translation: "Fear Allah in the matter of women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allah, and you have made them lawful by the word of Allah."
Allah Almighty says:
﴿وَاللَّاتِیْ تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَہُنَّ فَعِظُوہُنَّ وَاہْجُرُوہُنَّ فِی الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوہُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَکُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُواْ عَلَیْْہِنَّ سَبِیْلًا﴾
Translation: "And those [wives] from whom you fear discord, advise them and forsake them in bed, and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek not against them any means [of annoyance]."
This involves three sequential steps: advice, separation in bed, and finally, striking. It is not correct to make striking the first method. And the striking should not be such that it causes injury or breaks a bone. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( لَا یَجْلِدْ أَحَدُکُمُ امْرَأَتَہُ جَلْدَ الْعَبْدِ… ))
Translation: "None of you should beat his wife like beating a slave, and then sleep with her at the end of the day."
And he ﷺ said:
(( …وَاضْرِبُوْہُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَیْرَ مُبَرِّحٍ ))
Translation: "And if you have to strike, then strike in a way that is not painful (does not cause injury)."
One of the rights of a wife over her husband is that if she does not want to stay with her husband due to a Sharia excuse, she can obtain Khula by returning the Mahr (full or part). Examples of Sharia excuses:
❀ The husband is not capable of fulfilling marital rights.
❀ The husband harasses the wife without a valid reason.
❀ Efforts to reconcile after a dispute are unsuccessful.
❀ The husband neither keeps her nor divorces her.
Allah Almighty says:
﴿فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ یُقِیْمَا حُدُودَ اللّٰہِ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَیْْہِمَا فِیْمَا افْتَدَتْ بِہِ﴾
Translation: "If you [judges] fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives something for her release."
In the incident of Hazrat Thabit bin Qais رضي الله عنه, Hazrat Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه narrates that his wife came to the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ said: Will you return his garden? She said: Yes. The Prophet ﷺ said to Thabit رضي الله عنه: Take the garden and divorce her.
Translation (Meaning): "Take back your garden and divorce her."
A woman has the right to Khula, but with a valid Sharia excuse. Otherwise, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( أَیُّمَا امْرَأَۃٍ سَأَلَتْ زَوْجَہَا الطَّلَاقَ،مِنْ غَیْرِ مَا بَأْسٍ،فَحَرَامٌ عَلَیْہَا رَائِحَۃُ الْجَنَّۃِ ))
Translation: "Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce without a valid reason, the fragrance of Paradise is forbidden to her."
Islam has established such a balanced distribution of rights for both husband and wife that makes the home a center of peace, love, and justice. If the spouses act on these commands, it will reduce domestic disputes, increase trust, and bring blessings to married life. May Allah Almighty grant us the ability to act on the teachings of the religion of Islam. Amen.
In last Friday's sermon, the importance, benefits, and some principles of a successful married life were discussed, and it was clarified that the success of the spouses lies in fulfilling each other's rights and not depriving anyone of their rights. It was also mentioned that rights are of three types:
① Joint Rights
② Husband's Rights over Wife
③ Wife's Rights over Husband
Joint rights have already been discussed, now the remaining two types are described.
1) Serving the Husband
According to custom and tradition, serving the husband is the husband's right over the wife. It is narrated from Hazrat Husain bin Mihsan رضي الله عنه that his aunt came to the service of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. When she was free, the Prophet ﷺ asked: "Do you have a husband?" She said: "Yes." He ﷺ said: "How do you treat him?" She said: "I serve him in every way except when I am unable." Then the Prophet ﷺ said:
(( فَانْظُرِیْ أَیْنَ أَنْتِ مِنْہُ،فَإِنَّمَا ہُوَ جَنَّتُکِ وَنَارُکِ))
Reference: (Ahmad: 6/341, Al-Humaidi: 355, Al-Tabarani in Al-Kabeer: 25/183, Al-Hakim: 2/189, and Al-Albani graded it as Sahih in Aadab az-Zifaf: p. 118)
Translation: "Look carefully at where you stand in relation to your husband, for he is your Paradise and he is your Hell."
That is, if a woman takes care of her husband's service and rights, it is a cause for Paradise for her, and if she is negligent, there is a severe warning.
Example of the Sahabiyat
The virtuous women of this Ummah in the early times did not neglect serving their husbands. Hazrat Fatima رضي الله عنها (daughter of the Prophet ﷺ) used to serve Hazrat Ali رضي الله عنه, working so hard in the house that her hands would develop blisters from grinding flour. When prisoners of war arrived, she came to ask for a servant, but she did not find the Prophet ﷺ at home. Later, the Prophet ﷺ went to her house and said:
“ Shall I not tell you something that is better than a servant? When you go to bed, say Allahu Akbar 34 times, SubhanAllah 33 times, and Alhamdulillah 33 times, for that is better for you than a servant.”
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 3113, 3705, Sahih Muslim: 2727)
And Hazrat Asma bint Abi Bakr رضي الله عنها narrates that Hazrat Zubair رضي الله عنه had neither property nor slaves, only a camel and a horse. I used to feed the horse, bring water on the camel, sew the bucket myself, knead the flour myself, but I did not know how to bake bread, so the Ansari women in the neighborhood would bake it. And the land that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ had given to Hazrat Zubair رضي الله عنه in fief was about two miles away, I used to collect date stones from there and carry them on my head…
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5224, Sahih Muslim: 2182)
These were both great female companions, yet they served their husbands. Therefore, the women of today—no matter how good their families or how wealthy they may be—are not superior to them; they too should adopt an attitude of service and cooperation.
2) Obedience to the Husband
The second right of the husband upon his wife is that she should obey him and not disobey his commands. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( إِذَا صَلَّتِ الْمَرْأَۃُ خَمْسَہَا،وَصَامَتْ شَہْرَہَا،وَحَفِظَتْ فَرْجَہَا، وَأَطَاعَتْ زَوْجَہَا،قِیْلَ لَہَا: ادْخُلِیْ الْجَنَّۃَ مِنْ أَیِّ أَبْوَابِ الْجَنَّۃِ شِئْتِ ))
Reference: (Ahmad: 191/1, Al-Tabarani in Al-Awsat: 8805... and Al-Albani graded it as Sahih in Adab al-Zifaf: p. 120)
Translation: "When a woman performs her five prayers, fasts in Ramadan, protects her chastity, and obeys her husband, it will be said to her: Enter through whichever gate of Paradise you wish."
And regarding the best of women, it was said:
(( اَلَّتِیْ تَسُرُّہُ إِذَا نَظَرَ،وَتُطِیْعُہُ إِذَا أَمَرَ،وَلَا تُخَالِفُہُ فِیْ نَفْسِہَا وَمَالِہَا بِمَا یَکْرَہُ))
"She is the one who pleases him when he looks at her, obeys him when he commands her, and does not disobey him in matters of herself and his wealth in anything he dislikes."
Reference: (Al-Nasa'i: 3231, and Al-Albani graded it as Sahih... and Al-Sahihah: 1838)
And a severe warning against disobedience:
(( اِثْنَانِ لَا تُجَاوِزُ صَلَاتُہُمَا رُؤُوْسَہُمَا… وَامْرَأَۃٌ عَصَتْ زَوْجَہَا حَتّٰی تَرْجِعَ ))
"The prayer of two people does not rise above their heads... and a woman who disobeys her husband, until she returns (to obedience)."
Reference: (Sahih al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib by Al-Albani: 1948)
Important Rule: No Obedience in Sin
(( لَا طَاعَۃَ لِأَحَدٍ فِیْ مَعْصِیَۃِ اللّٰہِ ،إِنَّمَا الطَّاعَۃُ فِیْ الْمَعْرُوْفِ ))
Reference: (Agreed Upon)
"There is no obedience to anyone in disobedience to Allah; obedience is only in good (Ma'roof) deeds."
3) Not to Keep Voluntary Fast Without Husband's Permission
(( لَا یَحِلُّ لِلْمَرْأَۃِ أَنْ تَصُوْمَ وَزَوْجُہَا شَاہِدٌ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِہٖ ))
"It is not permissible for a woman to fast (voluntarily) when her husband is present, except with his permission."
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5195, Sahih Muslim: 1026)
4) Protecting the Husband's Wealth and Property
(( لَا تُنْفِقِ الْمَرْأَۃُ شَیْئًا مِنْ بَیْتِ زَوْجِہَا إِلَّا بِإِذْنِ زَوْجِہَا… قَالَ : ذَاکَ أَفْضَلُ أَمْوَالِنَا ))
"A woman should not spend anything from her husband's house (or his wealth) without her husband's permission." (The narrator said
"This is the most excellent of our wealth."
Reference: (Ahmad: 267/5, Al-Tirmidhi: 670, Ibn Majah: 2295, and Al-Albani graded it as Hasan: 1873)
5) Not to Allow Anyone into the House Without the Husband's Permission
(( …وَلَا تَأْذَنَّ فِیْ بَیْتِہٖ إِلَّا بِإِذْنِہٖ ))
"And she should not allow anyone into his house except with his permission."
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5195, Sahih Muslim: 1026)
(( …فَأَمَّا حَقُّکُمْ عَلٰی نِسَائِکُمْ فَلَا یُوْطِئْنَ فُرُشَکُمْ مَنْ تَکْرَہُوْنَ،وَلَا یَأْذَنَّ فِیْ بُیُوْتِکُمْ لِمَنْ تَکْرَہُوْنَ ))
"And your right over your wives is that they should not allow anyone you dislike to come to your beds, and they should not allow anyone you dislike to enter your houses."
Reference: (Al-Tirmidhi: 1163, Ibn Majah: 1851, Al-Tirmidhi said: Hasan Sahih)
6) Gratitude to Husband
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 29, Sahih Muslim: 907)
(( لَا یَنْظُرُ اللّٰہُ تَبَارَکَ وَتَعَالٰی إِلَی امْرَأَۃٍ لَا تَشْکُرُ لِزَوْجِہَا ، وَہِیَ لَا تَسْتَغْنِیْ عَنْہُ ))
"Allah Almighty does not look (with mercy) towards the woman who is ungrateful to her husband, even though she is dependent on him."
Reference: (Sahih al-Targhib wa'l-Tarhib by Al-Albani: 1944, and al-Sahiha: 289)
(( لَا یَصْلُحُ لِبَشَرٍ أَنْ یَّسْجُدَ لِبَشَرٍ،وَلَوْ صَلَحَ… لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَۃَ أَنْ تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِہَا لِعِظَمِ حَقِّہٖ عَلَیْہَا ))
"It is not permissible for any human being to prostrate to another human being, and if it were permissible (for anyone to prostrate to anyone), I would have ordered the woman to prostrate to her husband, because of his great right over her."
Reference: (Ahmad, al-Bazzar. Sahih al-Targhib wa'l-Tarhib by Al-Albani: 1936)
(( اَلْمَرْأَۃُ لَا تُؤَدِّیْ حَقَّ اللّٰہِ حَتّٰی تُؤَدِّیَ حَقَّ زَوْجِہَا… ))
"A woman cannot fulfill Allah's right until she fulfills her husband's right."
Reference: (Sahih al-Targhib wa'l-Tarhib by Al-Albani: 1943)
(( حَقُّ الزَّوْجِ عَلٰی زَوْجَتِہٖ… ))
"The husband's right over his wife..."
Reference: (Sahih al-Targhib wa'l-Tarhib by Al-Albani: 1934)
Wife's Rights Over Husband
After the husband's rights over his wife, now those rights are mentioned which are obligatory for the husband towards his wife, because the Sharia has prescribed rights and duties on both sides so that the home is protected from oppression, injustice, and imbalance.
1) Mahr (Dowry)
The first right of the wife over her husband is that he should pay her the Mahr. Allah Almighty says:
﴿ وَآتُوا النِّسَائَ صَدُقَاتِہِنَّ نِحْلَۃً فَإِن طِبْنَ لَکُمْ عَن شَیْْئٍ مِّنْہُ نَفْسًا فَکُلُوہُ ہَنِیْئًا مَّرِیْئًا﴾
Reference: (Al-Nisa 4:4)
Translation: "And give the women [upon marriage] their [dower] gracefully. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then eat it with enjoyment and pleasure."
It is clear from this verse that paying the dowry is obligatory on the husband. If a woman willingly forgives some of it, then it is lawful for the man, but:
❀ To refuse to pay the dowry at all.
❀ Or to force the woman to forgive the dowry.
This is a serious crime and an injustice to the woman.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( أَیُّمَا رَجُلٍ تَزَوَّجَ امْرَأَۃً عَلٰی مَا قَلَّ مِنَ الْمَہْرِ أَوْ کَثُرَ، لَیْسَ فِیْ نَفْسِہٖ أَنْ یُّؤَدِّیَ إِلَیْہَا حَقَّہَا، خَدَعَہَا، فَمَاتَ وَلَمْ یُؤَدِّ إِلَیْہَا حَقَّہَا لَقِیَ اللّٰہَ یَوْمَ الْقِیَامَۃِ وَہُوَ زَانٍ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Targhib wa al-Tarhib by Al-Albani: 1807)
Translation: "Whoever marries a woman with a dower, be it small or large, and has no intention of paying her right, then he deceives her. Then if he dies and is unable to pay her right, he will meet Allah on the Day of Resurrection as an adulterer."
Another Injustice Regarding Dowry
Sometimes the husband pays the dowry, but the woman's father takes possession of it, even though the dowry is purely the wife's right. Yes, if the woman willingly gives it to her father, then it is permissible.
Some Important Issues Regarding Dowry
① The amount of dowry has not been specified by the Sharia.
The amount of dowry depends on the financial status of the person getting married. Each person should set a dowry that they can easily afford. To set an exorbitant dowry and then:
❀ Not pay it.
❀ Or embezzle a portion of it.
❀ Or force the woman to forgive it.
All of this is injustice. It is better to set a dowry according to one's means from the beginning.
Allah Almighty says:
﴿ لاَ یُکَلِّفُ اللّٰہُ نَفْسًا إِلاَّ وُسْعَہَا﴾
Reference: (Al-Baqarah 2:286)
Translation: "Allah does not burden any soul beyond its capacity."
A marriage can be contracted in exchange for something of low value. As it is in the hadith:
(( اِلْتَمِسْ وَلَوْ خَاتَمًا مِنْ حَدِیْدٍ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5030, 5120, Sahih Muslim: 1425)
Translation: "Go, even if it is an iron ring, find it."
Then, when even a ring could not be found, the marriage was contracted in exchange for teaching a few surahs of the Quran.
Translation: "Go, teach her these surahs, I have married you to her in exchange for that."
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5030, 5120, Sahih Muslim: 1425)
Similarly, in the marriage of Hazrat Ali رضي الله عنه, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ fixed the dower in exchange for armor:
Reference: (Sunan Abi Dawud: 2125, Sunan an-Nasa'i: 3375, and Al-Albani graded it as Sahih: 3160)
Translation (Conceptual): "Give something... Where is your Hutmi armor?... Give that to her."
This was the dower of Hazrat Fatima رضي الله عنها, and it makes it clear that even less dower is permissible.
② A small dower is recommended.
Although the amount is not fixed, encouragement is given for an easy and small dower.
(( خَیْرُ النِّکَاحِ أَیْسَرُہُ ))
Reference: (Ibn Hibban, Sahih al-Jami' li'l-Albani: 3300)
Translation: "The best marriage is that which is easy."
(( خَیْرُ الصَّدَاقِ أَیْسَرُہُ ))
Reference: (Al-Hakim and Al-Bayhaqi, Sahih al-Jami' li'l-Albani: 3279)
Translation: "The best dower is that which can be paid easily."
And the dower of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ:
Hazrat Aisha رضي الله عنها said that the Prophet ﷺ gave his wives twelve and a half Uqiyah of silver (five hundred dirhams) as dower.
Reference: (Sahih Muslim: 1426)
Translation (Statement of Amount): "He ﷺ paid his wives twelve and a half Uqiyah of silver as dower, which is equal to five hundred dirhams."
(The numerical details in the text remain the same
According to some scholars, the weight of five hundred dirhams of silver is 1487.5 grams... Twelve dirhams of silver are equal to one dinar of gold... Forty-one and a half dinars... One dinar is approximately four and a quarter grams... Thus the weight is 176.375 grams... And Allah knows best.
And 'Abd al-Rahman bin 'Awf رضي الله عنه married with gold equivalent to the weight of a date stone, and the Prophet ﷺ congratulated him and ordered him to hold a Walima.
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5072, 5155, Sahih Muslim: 1427)
Imam Ibn Taymiyyah رحمه الله said:
"Whoever wants the Mahr of his daughter to be more than the Mahr of the daughters and wives of the Prophet ﷺ, even though they were the best women in the world, then that person is ignorant and foolish."
Reference: (Al-Fatawa: 32/194)
③ It is not desirable to set an exorbitant Mahr
A man married an Ansari woman and set four Uqiyah of silver as Mahr, so the Prophet ﷺ was surprised:
Reference: (Sahih Muslim: 1424)
Translation (Concept): "Four Uqiyah! As if you were digging silver from the foot of this mountain!"
Hazrat Umar رضي الله عنه also said that do not increase the Mahr too much... If it were an honor or piety, then the Prophet ﷺ would have been more entitled to it, but he ﷺ did not fix a Mahr of more than twelve Uqiyah.
Reference: (Sunan Ibn Majah: 1887, Sahih Al-Albani: 1532)
Translation (Concept): "Do not set exorbitant Mehr for women..."
2) Sustenance and Accommodation
The second right of a wife upon her husband is that he provides her with sustenance, accommodation, clothing, and legitimate necessities according to his ability and custom.
It was said in the Khutbah Hajjat-ul-Wida:
(( وَلَہُنَّ عَلَیْکُمْ رِزْقُہُنَّ وَکِسْوَتُہُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوْفِ))
Reference: (Sahih Muslim: 1218)
Translation: "And women have the right over you that you provide them with food and clothing according to custom."
And the narration of Hazrat Muawiyah al-Qushairi رضي الله عنه:
(( أَنْ تُطْعِمَہَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ،وَتَکْسُوَہَا إِذَا اکْتَسَیْتَ،وَلَا تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْہَ وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ،وَلَا تَہْجُرْ إِلَّا فِیْ الْبَیْتِ ))
Reference: (Ahmad: 4/447, Abu Dawood: 2142, Ibn Majah: 1850, Sahih al-Targhib wal-Tarhib: 1929)
Translation: "When you eat, feed her too, when you wear, clothe her too, do not hit her in the face, do not abuse her, and if you have to leave her, then leave her in the house."
Reward for Spending on Family
If the husband corrects his intention, spending on his family also becomes charity:
(( …حَتّٰی مَا تَجْعَلُ فِیْ فِی امْرَأَتِکَ ))
Reference: (Agreed upon)
Translation: "Even the morsel that you put in your wife's mouth will be rewarded."
(( إِذَا أَنْفَقَ الرَّجُلُ عَلٰی أَہْلِہٖ… کَانَتْ لَہُ صَدَقَۃً ))
Reference: (Agreed upon)
Translation: "When a man spends on his family, intending to seek reward, it is charity for him."
(( …أَعْظَمُہَا أَجْرًا الَّذِیْ أَنْفَقْتَہُ عَلٰی أَہْلِکَ))
Reference: (Sahih Muslim: 995)
Translation: "The most rewarding dinar is the one you spend on your family."
Warning: Moderation in Spending
Miserliness is reprehensible, and extravagance is also forbidden. Allah Almighty says:
﴿ وَالَّذِیْنَ إِذَا أَنفَقُوا لَمْ یُسْرِفُوا وَلَمْ یَقْتُرُوا وَکَانَ بَیْْنَ ذَلِکَ قَوَامًا﴾
Reference: (Al-Furqan 25:67)
Translation: "And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, [justly] moderate."
3) Living Together in a Good Manner
One of the rights of the wife upon her husband is that he lives with her in a good manner:
﴿وَعَاشِرُوہُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن کَرِہْتُمُوہُنَّ فَعَسَی أَن تَکْرَہُوْا شَیْْئًا وَّیَجْعَلَ اللّٰہُ فِیْہِ خَیْْرًا کَثِیْرًا﴾
Reference: (An-Nisa 4:19)
Translation: "And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good."
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to treat his wives with kindness, console them, talk and joke with them, inquire about everyone's well-being after Isha, eat food, and stay according to the rights of each one—that is, he was the best example.
Here are a few hadiths about this:
(( أَکْمَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِیْنَ… وَخِیَارُکُمْ خِیَارُکُمْ لِنِسَائِہِمْ ))
Reference: (Sunan al-Tirmidhi: 1162)
Translation: "The most complete of believers in faith is the one with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their women."
(( لَا یَفْرَکْ مُؤْمِنٌ مُؤْمِنَۃً… ))
Reference: (Sahih Muslim: 1469)
Translation: "A believing man should not hate a believing woman; if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another."
(( اِسْتَوْصُوْا بِالنِّسَائِ… ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5185, 5186, Sahih Muslim: 1468)
Translation: "Accept my advice regarding women... Woman was created from a rib... if you try to straighten it, you will break it... so treat women well."
(( فَاتَّقُوا اللّٰہَ فِی النِّسَائِ… ))
Reference: (Sahih Muslim:1218)
Translation: "Fear Allah in the matter of women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allah, and you have made them lawful by the word of Allah."
Sharia Method of Correcting a Disobedient Wife
Allah Almighty says:
﴿وَاللَّاتِیْ تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَہُنَّ فَعِظُوہُنَّ وَاہْجُرُوہُنَّ فِی الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوہُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَکُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُواْ عَلَیْْہِنَّ سَبِیْلًا﴾
Reference: (An-Nisa 4:34)
Translation: "And those [wives] from whom you fear discord, advise them and forsake them in bed, and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek not against them any means [of annoyance]."
This involves three sequential steps: advice, separation in bed, and finally, striking. It is not correct to make striking the first method. And the striking should not be such that it causes injury or breaks a bone. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( لَا یَجْلِدْ أَحَدُکُمُ امْرَأَتَہُ جَلْدَ الْعَبْدِ… ))
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari:5204, Sahih Muslim:2855)
Translation: "None of you should beat his wife like beating a slave, and then sleep with her at the end of the day."
And he ﷺ said:
(( …وَاضْرِبُوْہُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَیْرَ مُبَرِّحٍ ))
Reference: (Sunan al-Tirmidhi:1163)
Translation: "And if you have to strike, then strike in a way that is not painful (does not cause injury)."
Right of Khula
One of the rights of a wife over her husband is that if she does not want to stay with her husband due to a Sharia excuse, she can obtain Khula by returning the Mahr (full or part). Examples of Sharia excuses:
❀ The husband is not capable of fulfilling marital rights.
❀ The husband harasses the wife without a valid reason.
❀ Efforts to reconcile after a dispute are unsuccessful.
❀ The husband neither keeps her nor divorces her.
Allah Almighty says:
﴿فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ یُقِیْمَا حُدُودَ اللّٰہِ فَلاَ جُنَاحَ عَلَیْْہِمَا فِیْمَا افْتَدَتْ بِہِ﴾
Reference: (Al-Baqarah 2:229)
Translation: "If you [judges] fear that they would not be able to keep the limits ordained by Allah, then there is no sin on either of them if she gives something for her release."
In the incident of Hazrat Thabit bin Qais رضي الله عنه, Hazrat Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه narrates that his wife came to the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ said: Will you return his garden? She said: Yes. The Prophet ﷺ said to Thabit رضي الله عنه: Take the garden and divorce her.
Reference: (Sahih al-Bukhari: 5273)
Translation (Meaning): "Take back your garden and divorce her."
Seeking Divorce Without Excuse is a Grave Sin
A woman has the right to Khula, but with a valid Sharia excuse. Otherwise, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
(( أَیُّمَا امْرَأَۃٍ سَأَلَتْ زَوْجَہَا الطَّلَاقَ،مِنْ غَیْرِ مَا بَأْسٍ،فَحَرَامٌ عَلَیْہَا رَائِحَۃُ الْجَنَّۃِ ))
Reference: (Ahmad, Abu Dawood, Al-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Sahih al-Jami' by Al-Albani: 2706)
Translation: "Any woman who asks her husband for a divorce without a valid reason, the fragrance of Paradise is forbidden to her."
Conclusion
Islam has established such a balanced distribution of rights for both husband and wife that makes the home a center of peace, love, and justice. If the spouses act on these commands, it will reduce domestic disputes, increase trust, and bring blessings to married life. May Allah Almighty grant us the ability to act on the teachings of the religion of Islam. Amen.
