❖ Permissibility of Looking at One’s Fiancée Before Marriage
Written by: ʿImrān Ayyūb Lāhorī
❖ ➊ Glancing at a Prospective Bride to Foster Affection
Narrated by Mughīrah ibn Shuʿbah رضي الله عنه:
"I proposed to a woman, so the Prophet ﷺ asked: ‘Did you look at her?’ I replied: ‘No.’ He said:"
"فَانْظُرْ إِلَيْهَا فَإِنَّهُ أَحْرَىٰ أَنْ يُؤْدَمَ بَيْنَكُمَا"
“Then look at her, for it is more likely that affection will develop between you.”
Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Mājah: 1511 Ibn Mājah: 1865 Aḥmad: 4/244 Al-Dārimī: 2/134 Al-Tirmidhī: 1087 Al-Nasāʾī: 3/14 ʿAbd al-Razzāq: 1335 Al-Dāraqutnī: 3/252 Ibn al-Jārūd: 675 Sharḥ Maʿānī al-Āthār: 3/14 Sharḥ al-Sunnah: 5/14❖ ➋ Recommendation to View What Encourages Marriage
Narrated by Jābir ibn ʿAbdillāh رضي الله عنه:
“When one of you proposes to a woman, if he is able to look at what would encourage him to marry her, let him do so.”
Ḥasan: Ṣaḥīḥ Abū Dāwūd: 1832 Aḥmad: 3/334 Al-Ḥākim: 2/165 Al-Bayhaqī: 7/84❖ ➌ No Harm in Looking When Intending Marriage
Another narration states:
"إِذَا أَلْقَى اللَّهُ فِي قَلْبِ امْرِئٍ خِطْبَةَ امْرَأَةٍ، فَلَا بَأْسَ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ إِلَيْهَا"
“When Allah places in a man’s heart the desire to propose to a woman, there is no harm if he looks at her.”
Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Mājah: 1510 Ibn Mājah: 1864 Aḥmad: 4/225 Ibn Abī Shaybah: 4/256 Ṭabarānī al-Kabīr: 19/224 Sharḥ Maʿānī al-Āthār: 3/13❖ The Prophet ﷺ Looked at a Woman Who Proposed Herself
A woman came to the Prophet ﷺ offering herself in marriage. The narration mentions:
"فَنَظَرَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَصَعَّدَ النَّظَرَ إِلَيْهَا وَصَوَّبَهُ، ثُمَّ طَأْطَأَ رَأْسَهُ"
“The Prophet ﷺ looked at her, scanning her up and down, then lowered his head.”
Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī: 5135 Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim: 1425 Abū Dāwūd: 2111 Al-Tirmidhī: 1114 Al-Nasāʾī: 6/123 Ibn Mājah: 1889 Al-Muwaṭṭaʾ Mālik: 2/526 Al-Dārimī: 2/142 Al-Dāraqutnī: 3/247 Sharḥ Maʿānī al-Āthār: 3/16❖ Conclusion:
✔ The Prophetic Sunnah permits a man to glance at a woman he intends to marry.
✔ This serves the purpose of fostering mutual understanding and affection.
✔ The viewing must be with pure intentions and within the bounds of Sharīʿah.
✔ Repeated or lustful gazes or privacy (khalwah) are not allowed.
وَاللهُ أَعْلَمُ بِالصَّوَابِ
And Allāh knows best what is correct.
